This month, I made the decision to re-enter the world of online dating. I’ve been on and off the apps for years. I’m rejoining this time after a hiatus of a couple of years. And honestly? I forgot how hard app dating is.
We all have different intentions when it comes to dating. Personally, I’m in search of love — real love — and I’m not getting any younger. That makes me a whole lot pickier. These are six things that always make me swipe left (a.k.a. ‘no’) on dating apps.
When it comes to app dating, these are my profile dealbreakers.
1. When Our Values Don’t Align
This one should go without saying. Since I’m looking for a long-term relationship that leads to marriage and children, I’m not about to swipe right (or ‘yes’) on anyone who’s only looking for casual sex.
Another red flag? When someone doesn’t know what they want or if it’s not clearly stated in their profile. Facepalm. I’m going to just assume that you’re looking to hookup or for a situationship, and I’m sure as hell not about to swipe yes and hope to convince you to be in a relationship with me over time. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Sorry, not sorry.
2. When You Post Shirtless Photos
I’m not saying that a lot of guys don’t look gorgeous without their shirts on. And this might not apply to everyone out there, but to me, posting a shirtless photo on Bumble sends a message. You probably like attention — more attention than I could reasonably give you and possibly from multiple women. Thanks, but no thanks.
3. When Your Profile Mentions “Drama” or “Games”
If your Tinder profile says you’re looking for a drama-free relationship, it’s going to be an automatic no from me. The same goes for talking about how you’re not looking to play games. We’re all mature adults (well, some of us are), and drawing attention to this “pet peeve” makes me question just how dramatic and game-filled your past relationships were. Because personally, I do not want to deal with drama or games in a relationship.
4. When Someone’s Looking for Positive Vibes Only
Don’t get me wrong: Ideally, all relationships would be made up of positive vibes only. But the reality is that life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Life is hard, and it’s filled with lots of storms. I’m looking for someone who I can weather the storm with — not someone who only wants to be there when the sun is shining.
5. When It’s Unclear Who You Are in Your Profile Photo
If your profile photo contains more than one dude, I’m swiping no. Maybe I’m being nitpicky, but I sometimes wonder if guys who post photos with multiple guys are trying to trick you into swiping for their more attractive friends. I want to know clearly from your first picture who you are or I’m moving on.
6. When Your Photos Contain Other Females
When I see photos with other females, I often assume that they’re sisters or cousins. But I’m pretty sure that there are men out there posting photos with their exes or close girl friends. It makes me wonder if they’re trying to set the precedent on the type of female they deem attractive, and I’m not here for it.
And don’t even get me started on the guys who block out the face of someone who they were obviously dating. Are you really so lazy that you can’t take a new photo of yourself for Hinge? Laziness isn’t a quality I want in a future partner, so… next.
So, what about you? Are there any things that make you swipe left when you’re app dating? What are your dating profile dealbreakers?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: John Tuesday on Unsplash
