What do women really want in a man? Maybe there’s no right answer, but James Michael Sama has a few ideas.
The question “what do women want?” has multiple answers for multiple areas of life. What do they want in a career? What do they want in a relationship? What do they want in a man?
The way a woman wants to be treated in a relationship is different than the inherent qualities she wants the man she is with to have. So, what qualities put you at the front of the pack when looking for a committed relationship?
Nobody wants a partner who flies off the handle all the time or who they need to walk on eggshells around. Plus, two different people from two different backgrounds will likely see the world differently and need to take time to learn about each other.
Be patient and understanding, take the time to learn new things from her and to also help her learn new things from you. Don’t get frustrated easily and keep your temper at bay.
If you’re looking to keep a woman’s attention, manners matter, good looks are a bonus, but humor is a must.
Having a great sense of humor is essential in many different parts of life. It helps you deal with stress, and it also makes you more pleasant to be around. A man who can make a woman laugh will never lose, and when he can transplant that quality into other aspects of a relationship [when appropriate] it will always be a plus.
Notice, I didn’t say arrogance. Confidence plays into biological desires for us to want to “mate” with the leader of a pack or the “alpha” type. Confidence does not mean cockiness or someone who is so full of themselves that they can’t be bothered with those around them…
Confidence is a strong presence and purpose that is contagious. When you are confident, those around you can feed off of your energy and feel empowered. This, of course, includes your significant other.
Passion for life. Passion for your own interests. Passion for her.
How often do we hear that a relationship has “lost its passion” over time? Inevitably, this either leads to a continued, unhappy relationship — or the end of it. Keeping passion alive is essential to ongoing happiness in a relationship.
Don’t just be passionate towards her physically (though of course that is high on the list), also be passionate about her interests, her goals, and supporting her on her own individual journey.
Honesty is the foundation for so many other necessary qualities one can possess: Consistency, trustworthiness, dependability…
When a woman is confident that you are always being honest with her, she will have no reason to distrust or doubt you. Many women complain about men saying one thing and then doing another, whether it comes to committing to a relationship and then disappearing, or being shady about canceling plans.
The best bet is to always be up front — plus, if you lie, she will probably find out anyway.
When I was growing up, I would always wonder why women were attracted to men who never paid attention to them. Besides the stereotypical “want what you can’t have” mindset, I was told these guys were “mysterious.”
Mystery brings excitement, anticipation, and uncertainty. It also eliminates the risk of coming across as too needy or desperate, if you have a hint of mystery to you. (It’s very important to not display indifference or apathy, that is a much different message to send).
You also don’t have to lose your mystery in a long term relationship. Surprise her with a night/weekend away or special plans now and then. Keep things exciting, and always remember it’s the little things that count the most.
No matter how many misconceptions there are out there that women want to be treated badly — they don’t. Nobody does. Kindness also suggests being respectful towards her, and others (also very important).
When it comes to actually committing to someone for a long term relationship, kindness is essential. This is a person that a woman is picturing spending time with their friends, their family, and potentially building a family with in the future. Anything less than kindness is unacceptable.
Of course, every person is different and wants different things from their partner. Generally speaking though, these qualities will not only increase your chances at a happy relationship, but also at a happy life.
The good news is, you can work on and improve yourself in order to consciously display everything here.
Just remember — don’t make it an act, always be genuine in your actions.
This article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog
Photo credit: Nathan Congleton/flickr