Rosalinda and Jack seemed like a match made in heaven.
At least to the rest of us in their circle of friends who witnessed their relationship.
Rosalinda was so in love with Jack and she would tell anyone who cared to listen. She also told him plenty of times when they were together. She did not stop at the verbal love, she also showed it in the gifts she got him, the things she did for him, the little notes she wrote him, and the way she gave of herself to please him. She really went across the board of the love languages.
He seemed to reciprocate it albeit in a more passive way. She was always fighting for his attention with other women, with his career, and even his phone. To make it up to her after a big fight, he would buy her flowers.
For the most part, he neglected her.
As a result, she developed trauma from that relationship and swore never to date again.
I related so strongly with Rosalinda because I was once in a similar relationship myself. And they all have similar telltale signs that if caught early can help the victim choose to leave the relationship before they get too entangled.
So, here are 7 telltale signs that you are emotionally neglected in your relationship
#1. You feel like you are never really seen or heard.
It is hard to be in a relationship where you feel unseen and unheard. This is because being in a relationship is supposed to be about intimacy and connection. If you feel like your partner never really sees or hears you, it is likely that you are emotionally neglected.
According to relationship coach , Barbara Markway, “Emotional neglect happens when your partner withdraws from you or diminishes your emotional needs.” This can happen in a number of ways.
For example, your partner may not listen to you when you talk, they may dismiss your feelings, or they may be completely wrapped up in their own world and not really notice how you are doing.
This is a sign of emotional neglect and if you find yourself in a similar situation in another relationship, you should speak to your partner about it or try to move on.
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#2. You feel like your partner is always busy and never has time for you.
If you feel like your partner is always busy and never has time for you, it is likely that you are being emotionally neglected. This is because emotional neglect often occurs when one partner withdraws from the relationship or diminishes the emotional needs of the other.
In a relationship, it is important to feel like you are a priority to your partner and that they are there for you when you need them. If you feel like your partner is always busy and never has time for you, it is likely that they are not prioritizing your relationship and are emotionally neglecting you.
According to relationship coach, Barbara Markway, “Emotional neglect happens when your partner withdraws from you or diminishes your emotional needs.” This can happen in a number of ways.
According to love author , Mandy Len Catron, “One way to love someone is to give them your time.” If you feel like your partner is not giving you their time, it may be because they are emotionally neglecting you.
If you find yourself in a similar situation in another relationship, you should speak to your partner about it. If they are not willing to adjust their behaviour, leave.
Life is too short to choose to spend it with a neglecter.
For example, your partner may not listen to you when you talk, they may dismiss your feelings, or they may be completely wrapped up in their own drama to pay any attention to you.
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#3. You always feel like you are walking on eggshells.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel like you can be yourself without fear of judgement or rejection. However, if you feel like you are always walking on eggshells around your partner, it is likely that you are emotionally neglected.
A healthy relationship could look like this:
Why would you feel like you are walking on eggshells in an unhealthy relationship?
This is because emotional neglect often occurs when one partner withdraws from the relationship or diminishes the emotional needs of the other. When this happens, it can create an environment where the other partner feels like they have to tip-toe around them and be careful not to upset them.
If you feel like you always have to be careful about what you said and how you acted around your partner, it is likely that you are emotionally neglected. This is because people who are emotionally neglected often feel like they have to tiptoe around their partner.
According to love coach and sex therapist , Ian Kerner, “When you’re emotionally neglected, you may feel that your partner is never really there for you. They may be physically present, but they’re not really emotionally available.”
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4. You always have to be the strong one.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel like they can lean on each other. If you always have to be the strong one in your relationship, it is likely that you are emotionally neglected.
This is because emotional neglect often occurs when one partner withdraws from the relationship or diminishes the emotional needs of the other. When this happens, it can create an environment where the other partner feels like they have to be the strong one and take
Having to always be the strong one in the relationship is draining because you are constantly having to put your own needs aside to support your partner.
If you find yourself in a similar situation in another relationship, you should speak to your partner about it or try to move on.
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5. The neglecter always puts their own needs first and doesn’t seem to consider your feelings at all.
If your partner always put their own needs first and never seems to consider your feelings, it is likely that you are emotionally neglected in the relationship. This can be extremely frustrating and make you feel like your partner doesn’t care about you.
In addition, you might feel like your partner is never truly there for you.
One of the most common signs of emotional neglect is feeling like your partner is never really there for you. When this happens, it can leave you feeling isolated and alone, even if they are physically present.
According to relationship expert and author, Margaret Paul, “Emotional neglect is often more hurtful than physical abuse because it attacks your very core.”
If you find yourself in a similar situation in another relationship, you should speak to your partner about it or try to move on.
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6. You feel like your partner is always taking from you and never giving anything back
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel like they are giving and receiving equally. However, if you feel like your partner is always taking from you and never giving anything back, it is likely that you are emotionally neglected.
Emotional neglect can sometimes feel like emotional abuse because it can leave you feeling drained and used.
According to relationship expert and author, Margaret Paul, “Emotional neglect is often more hurtful than physical abuse because it attacks your very core.”
If you find yourself in a similar situation in another relationship, you should speak to your partner about it or try to move on.
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7. You feel neglected
There are many things that may make you feel neglected in a relationship. And in your heart, you somehow just know you deserve better but quench that small still voice that is telling you to leave your partner.
If you feel neglected in your relationship, you probably are. Here are some key points of what that looks like:
- Your partner never seems to understand or care about your emotional needs, and does not respond appropriately to respond to your feelings.
- You always have to be the one to initiate any physical or emotional intimacy. This can make you feel like your partner isn’t interested in being close to you and can leave you feeling lonely and rejected.
- You never feel like you truly belong in the relationship. This can leave you feeling like an outsider in your own relationship and can be very confusing and hurtful.
- Your partner never seems to fully commit to you or the relationship.
- You just know. You always feel like something is missing, even though you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.
When you are in a relationship where you are emotionally neglected, you will feel neglected.
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Final Thoughts
“Nobody has ever killed themselves over a broken arm. But every day, thousands of people kill themselves because of a broken heart. Why? Because emotional pain hurts much worse than physical pain.” — Oliver Markus Malloy
If you are experiencing any of these signs, it is important to take action to address them.
By being honest with yourself and working to improve your self-esteem so that you do not settle for such a relationship ever again, you are much more likely to find true love down the line.
And Now Your Thoughts
I want to hear all about your perspective on this topic. Please let us chat in the comments section.
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Thank you for reading.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Filipp Romanovski on Unsplash