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There has been a lot of focus lately on the less-than-stellar behavior of some men in our society. There’s been a lot of talk about toxic masculinity, fragile masculinity, and some men not understanding what consent actually means. I love that we are having these conversations, because they are clearly needed—and having open and honest conversations is how we will all learn and grow from what our society has been experiencing lately.
But I want to take a breather from it all.
I want to celebrate men for a moment.
And I want to tell you the things that I love about you.
Some of them are admittedly superficial, but I think we need some more light-heartedness right now. At least I do. Some of them are much more important—because I want you to know that I see you and I hear you. And some of them are simply to make you laugh. Because I think we all need a little more of that in our lives.
Here are my 7 things I love about men:
1. Your forearms
I apologize right up front for starting with a body part. I will admit that this is one of the most superficial things I love about you. And if I were talking about other parts that are routinely objectified, I would feel worse. But honestly, your forearms are probably the second thing I notice about you. (We’ll get to the first one later.)
Here is why I love your forearms: Not only are they aesthetically beautiful, but they show me your strength. I love the veins running the length of them, that have me picturing you holding a hammer and fixing something—or gently holding a newborn baby. Your forearms do it for me every time.
2. Your involvement as dads
I am surrounded by amazing dads, and the level of involvement you have in your children’s lives is beautiful. You are in the delivery rooms now, changing diapers, and getting up for midnight feedings. You volunteer at school, coach your son’s baseball team, and go to the beauty supply store to buy black lipstick for your daughter’s dance performance the next day. (And then good-naturedly take the ribbing when the lipstick ends up looking more purplish than black.)
You want more time with your kids in custody arrangements, or finally break down and buy a trampoline—just so your kids and their friends will want to hang out at your house instead of someone else’s. You make dad jokes, even when you know that everyone is going to roll their eyes. And when you reach the tougher parenting years that bring up bigger issues, you admit that you have no idea what to do…but you still want to learn.
3. Your desire to get everything right
When there are too many balls in the air, we are all going to drop one at some point. Or at many points. Many times a day. But you want to get it right, and you do everything in your power to do so. I see your desire to get everything right—and your frustration when you don’t. We’re all there with you. Thanks for not giving up.
4. Your commitment to being a provider
This is one that impresses me every single day. Men are raised with the expectation that they will provide for their families. I hate that this burden is felt so much more strongly by men than women as we are growing up. I would love for everyone to feel like they can pursue work that fulfills their soul—and not just the financial burdens of a family.
But oh, how I admire that commitment. You work hard for your families, and while kids might not recognize it, I do. I see the food that you are putting on the table, the roof you put over your family’s heads, and all those expensive activities you pay for. Women are contributing more than ever, but your unwavering commitment to be that provider is awe-inspiring and admirable.
5. Your willingness to kill the spider
Seriously. I’ve killed spiders in my time, but I absolutely love when you are around to do it for me. I am one of the most feminist people I know, but I love you when you don’t make me feel bad about not wanting to kill the spider. And I especially love when you come to my house in the middle of a football game, kill the biggest spider I’ve ever seen in my life, and then put it in a baggie and take it home to throw away in your garbage—so I don’t have to think coming back to life and crawling out of mine. Heroes come in all forms.
6. Your heart
You have the biggest heart, and I love how you share it with so many. You feed your father-in-law ice chips when he’s in the hospital. You help any and all of your friends move as soon as they ask. You take your neighbor’s Christmas tree to the mulching site because you have a truck. You snowblow the whole cul-de-sac because you are already out there. And you make chocolate chip cookies for someone you just met, because they have a long drive in front of them.
You might not always show us your emotions. But you show us your heart in a million ways every day.
7. Your eyes
This is the first thing I notice about you, every time. And they are beautiful. I have dated men with brown eyes that I could drown in, green eyes that turn blue in different light, and the bluest eyes I have ever seen—and that seemed to see straight through me. Your eyes show me everything I need to know about you, and I love everything I see. I see your heart, your pain, your desire to love and to be loved, your determination, and your soul. Thank you for letting me see it all through those windows to your soul.
I feel like this list could go on and on. But I hope that it’s a start. A start to you, as men, feeling seen and heard and acknowledged. Thank you for being you.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
Thanks Christy. I appreciate your appreciation and care.