If you’re fed up with dating, you’re not alone. It’s easy to reach that point if you’ve been on the market for a while and you’ve been putting your heart into it, only to be disappointed time and time again. Rather than swear off dating forever, the following are seven things to consider doing.
Don’t Lessen Who You Are
It’s so important to remember that the right person will love you for exactly who you are, flaws and all. It can be difficult to remember this during times of loneliness. Never, ever feel like you need to be “less than” in order to meet someone. Your light can and should remain consistent or get brighter. Don’t dim it for anyone.
Don’t Settle
It can be easy to reach a point where you’re so disillusioned with dating that you’re tempted to settle for the next somewhat decent person who makes their way into your life. However, you’re far too fantastic to settle for anybody.
Wait until you meet someone who really feels like your person. They may not check all your boxes, such as that they might be 5’7 rather than 5’10, but they check all the boxes with how well they treat you and how they make you feel.
Take a Break
Just because you’re fed up with dating now doesn’t necessarily mean it will feel that way forever. You may need a break to regroup. Take some time away from the dating scene, and when you feel ready to get back in again, go slowly but surely until you get to a comfortable pace that works for you.
Try a Different Approach
If you want to stay in the dating game but don’t want things to keep going the way they have been, it may be time to try a different approach. For example, if you’ve been meeting people in person, try online dating and vice versa. Switching things up, especially if you’re trying something you’ve never done before or haven’t done in a while, might be the key to success.
Don’t Start Messaging Every Romantic Connection
Most of us have been there. We get to a point where one (or a few) glasses of alcohol are involved, and suddenly we think it’s a fantastic idea to text your could-have-been. Have someone readily available you can text instead, whether you’re feeling lonely, you’ve had a few drinks, etc., who can remind you how it’s a terrible idea and get you back on track. For me, it’s my best friend.
Manage Your Expectations
There’s a big difference between managing your expectations and lowering your standards. It’s important not to confuse the two. For instance, you should absolutely expect to be treated well during your date, but you shouldn’t expect that every date will turn into something meaningful. Sometimes, a date is just a one-and-done and nothing more, and that’s okay.
Determine Where You Can Improve
This might not be the easiest experiment, but it may help you determine where you could improve. Text friends and/or family members and ask what they feel are your biggest pros and cons when it comes to dating and relationships. Once you receive your answers, reflect on what they said to determine if you agree with the answers and where you feel you can improve. One or more responses may help change your perspective.
Text only the people who will provide constructive, honest answers, but you need to first brace yourself for what you might hear. Only ask if you’re ready for honest feedback and if you’re willing to reflect on what they say.
There’s no telling when you’ll meet someone, but if you’re feeling incredibly fed up with dating, now just might not be the time. Don’t try to force things with yourself or anyone else. Give it some more time, conjure up as much patience as possible, and focus on doing things you love that make you happy, even if that means putting dating to the side for now.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Aljhon Umlas on Unsplash
