Self-love is the trending motto these days, but let’s be real—it is easier said than done. Everyone says “Love yourself,” but nobody explains how to do it.
If you’re tired of the empty advice and ready for some real talk on how to actually start loving yourself, you’re in the right place.
I spent the early years of my life around overly critical people. That harsh inner voice became a part of me; it labels me a failure every time I make a mistake and an idiot every time I lack knowledge on a topic.
When the inner critic blames you for every little thing that goes wrong, silencing it becomes a challenge.
I know I’m not alone in this struggle; countless people are fighting the same war. But how do you actually win it?
How do you truly embrace self-love when your inner critic won’t shut up?
Let’s break it down and learn some tools that you can practice every day to start the journey towards self-love.
1. Celebrate your little joys and victories.
Don’t seek validation and praise from other people. You know when you do something you are proud of, celebrate yourself—take yourself out on a date, buy yourself some flowers and chocolates, and pat yourself on the back.
Don’t wait for someone else to love you before you love yourself.
2. Speak up when something is bothering you.
Don’t let yourself go down the rabbit hole of overthinking and rumination when something bugs you; talk about it. Don’t let it fester; release that thought. It protects your peace and relationships.
3. Keep the promises you make to yourself.
Set small, attainable goals in life and make sure you achieve them. Don’t say you will do one thing and procrastinate for months. This creates a lack of respect for yourself.
4. Say no when you don’t want to do something.
If somebody in your personal life demands or requests something that you do not feel comfortable with, say no. Remember, you don’t owe people your time or any explanations for not feeling up to something.
“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” -Paulo Coelho
5. Do the things you love.
Let go of peer pressure. Live life on your terms. You don’t have to follow the latest trends or family traditions; do the things that truly bring you joy. Watch your comfort shows over and over, read the books you want, wear sparkly makeup, and get that hair color you keep saving on Pinterest.
6. Distance yourself from toxic people.
You know that friend or that family member who jokes about your weight or your acne scars every time you see them? Cut them off. If you can’t completely cut them off, limit your interactions with them. This will create space for positivity in your life.
7. Let people be wrong about you.
No matter how hard and long you try to practice self-love, there will always be people who will criticize and shame you. You do not need to correct them or justify your actions to them; live your life by your own rules.
“The more I like me, the less I want to pretend to be other people.” -Jamie Lee Curtis
Conclusion:
The path to self-love is long and difficult for a lot of people, but it is the only way to move forward to a better you.
Treat yourself like you would someone you love.
If a dear friend confesses to you about a mistake they made, you don’t label them a horrible person; that thought doesn’t even cross your mind. Stop mistreating yourself.
Show up for yourself in ways that you expect others to, and become your own biggest cheerleader.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Jovan Vasiljević on Unsplash
