With a touch of panache and honesty, you can create a magnetic online dating profile. Imagine you are creating a snapshot of yourself – one designed to entice and inform, to give a taste of who you are. With some choice pieces (as well as good grammar), you’ll have a great online profile designed to attract the one you want.
(1) Tell a story. Open with a narrative image of how you show up best in the world. When are you at your best? Fighting orcs online while crunching on kettle corn? Kiteboarding in Maui? Making your world-famous chili with Carolina Reapers? Running through cemeteries with a bottle of cognac in hand? Entice your potential date with sensory details. Some choice verbs and adjectives in a concise paragraph can go a long way.
(2) Create a space in your world for the person you want to find. How will this person be a part of this world? Salsa-dancing with you across the floors in Cuba? Taking slow walks discussing chocolate-making in the local park? Envision this person’s role in your life. If it’s a short-term relationship, make it clear it’ll be an awesome night or few nights or months. If it’s long-term, paint that picture.
(3) What are some quirks this person should know about you? You can’t live without your pour-over coffee in the morning? Have you yet to cook an egg without breaking its yolk? If you know you can be funny, make it funny but run it past a few people who will be brutally honest about how the quirk is showing up. Note: It is best to keep sex out of the picture here. More on that later.
(4) Put up representative but decently taken pictures. Selfies are fine, but sometimes the lighting is subpar. If you’re into cosplay, show that. Show a variety of pictures that represent who you are at home, relaxing, and playing. If you can’t show your face for work reasons, state that up front. Otherwise, let your potential date know what you look like both dressed up as well as dressed down. At least three. More is better, but three clear, varied photos are better than 10 blurry selfies.
(5) Be honest about your situation. If your situation is complicated, say that. (If your situation is that complicated, do you have the space for someone to come in?) If you are married, in an open relationship, just got out of a relationship, are ready for a relationship, say that. Know yourself and be honest.
(6) Go easy on the lists of things you love. Most people skim past blocks of movie, book, and music titles. A list of 5-10 items each usually works.
(7) Sex. If you have a high libido, low libido, are kinky, love outdoor sex, etc. put it simply but be honest. High Libido. Low Libido. Kinky. Some must-have kinks (can detail in messages or in person). You don’t need to spell it out. If your potential date/partner wants someone with that, they’ll let you know.
Bonus Tip on Contacting Others:
Messaging with one word (“hi”), a dick pic, offers of sex, and poor grammar will guarantee no response unless the person has made it clear they want that. A genuine, heartfelt message is always best. Don’t write a novel, but don’t be shy to show you’ve read someone’s profile.
Don’t get discouraged. Try on these tips for size and see what they do for you. At the very best, you’ll be looking at a busier social calendar. At worst, you’ll have a fun piece of writing and a clear sense of what you want to co-create with someone else.
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