Here’s what happens when you find the right relationship.
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A few years ago, I didn’t think much about being in a relationship. Not that I was against the concept, but I was young and a little crazy and doing some work in nightlife, so commitment just wasn’t on my radar. But even then, there was always that hope in the back of my mind that the next person I was introduced to could turn into something real.
Then, it happened. And for almost two years, it was great.
As I have gotten a little older and experienced what comes along with being in a relationship at this age, the more I see the great parts of it that most pop-culture doesn’t seem to acknowledge. People talk about being “held back” or “weighed down” or talking about “settling down” in such a negative way that nobody would want to do it.
But the right relationship with the right person is supposed to enhance your life and your experiences, not complicate them. Here are 7 reasons being in a relationship doesn’t suck at all.
(I know I will get a little backlash from people saying you don’t need a relationship to be happy. Of course you don’t, but you’ll find the points below are designed to eliminate a negative stigma towards commitment or relationships).
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You will expand your horizons.
When two different people with two different histories and two different viewpoints come together in a relationship, you can’t help but be exposed to new ideas and experiences. You may not typically be interested in the arts, or a night at the theater, or a day of rock climbing or yoga — but you will likely be much more open to the new experience if the man or woman you loves wants to share their passion with you.
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You will always have a cheerleader.
Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive and motivated through hard times or discouragements. It may be something personal, professional, or both. The great thing about being with the right person for you is that they will be your beacon of light during the darkness. They will support and encourage you along your path, while you do the same for them. They can help brighten your day in ways that you may not be able to do on your own.
Plus, the encouragement you receive from the man or woman you love will have a different feeling than support from a family member or a friend.
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Their love will make you more confident.
There is something about knowing that the person you love loves you back – that puts an extra pep in your step. You’ll know you’ve found the right person when their mere presence in your life makes you want to become the best version of yourself that you can, and you will have the confidence to make it happen.
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Meaningful sex.
I think one of the reasons many people want to stay single is that they want to have a variety of experiences in their life, especially at a younger age. This is understandable, many of us have been there, myself included. We’ve got to “get it out of our system,” so to speak. Some people, though, have no desire to do this at all.
Either way, we find there is very little fulfillment or satisfaction that comes from physical encounters with people there is no real connection with. Is it fun? Of course. Will it give you what you’re looking for? Probably not.
When you are with one person for an extended period of time, you’re able to enhance your experiences together through learning about each other, their likes, and dislikes. Plus, it helps to strengthen your emotional connection as well.
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Someone loves you for you.
When we are single and dating, there is often times a pressure to always be our best self, especially when meeting someone new. Now, of course we always want to be learning, improving, and being our best when we are in a relationship also, but there is a flexibility and freedom to also just be you and know that someone will love and accept it just the same.
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You always have someone to talk to.
We all need to vent every once in awhile, even if we don’t like to admit it. Sure, we can talk to friends or family, but opening up to the man or woman you love just feels different, especially when you know they will listen and support you unconditionally. Also, you know they will be honest and set you straight when you need it.
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Events and traveling become more exciting.
Whether it be a company party or a trip to Europe, knowing you get to experience these things with the person you love will immediately enhance the experience in a way that going by yourself or with a platonic friend just…wouldn’t.
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The real beauty of a relationship is when you are two separate individuals, but are united as one. You have someone who loves and accepts you as you are today, but also motivates and encourages you to continue improving and becoming your best.
You have a built in support system and teammate in life. We should stop thinking of significant others as a “ball and chain” that drags us down, and start thinking of them as a hot air balloon that brings us to new heights we wouldn’t have seen before.
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This article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s blog. Follow him on twitter here.
Photo credit: iStock
Yes, there comes a lot of benefits from being in a relationship with the right person. But what you’re really saying is just that most people never come close to finding and connecting with any potentially right person for them, since half of all marriages end in divorce, and I dare to say that a fair chunk of the rest are pretty far from fulfilling any of your seven criterias. (And, this isn’t a backlash from someone who says that you don’t need a relationship to be happy. Just that it seems pretty obvious that it’s better to be in… Read more »
James, I love this post. I would add an unexpected benefit I found: being loved as I am and for who I am (not just the sexy but all of me) helped me accept myself more. But it started with me accepting and loving what I could and refusing to let someone else determine my worth. Beautiful work. Thank you!
Great point, should have added that in there! Thanks so much for your feedback. 🙂