I spent most of my teens and early 20s drinking, smoking, partying, and chasing pointless things.
But I regret nothing because it’s through these experiences I learned incredibly valuable lessons.
Here goes.
People Are either Batteries, or They’re Saps
Don’t let negative people into your life.
They’re leeches and will drain you of the productive energy you need to achieve your goals and live a happy life.
Not sure who’s who? After interacting with someone, how do you feel?
- Energised, motivated, or happy?
- Drained and depleted, like I’ve been working hard?
Prioritise the first people. Cut out the others.
You deserve to be happy. But you gotta help yourself.
Learning Doesn’t Have to Be Boring
School isn’t for everyone.
Many people claim school is boring. And boredom accounts for around a third of variation in student achievement, and is why many drop out.
But boredom isn’t a character flaw. It’s a sign your energy is focused in the wrong direction, or you’re not getting it in the right way.
So learn what interests you on your own terms.
- Watch videos
- Do courses
- Read (or listen to) books
- Listen to podcasts
But be active. Don’t just sit there and think the knowledge will be absorbed through osmosis. Use what you learn. Challenge it. Test it.
And never be afraid to change your mind.
Be a Better Writer
Few skills can be leveraged as widely as writing. We use it everywhere:
- Journaling
- Online
- General office work
- Messaging friends and family
Forbes even claims it’s the most important skill for business.
Like it or not, it’s one of the most common ways we communicate, and people will judge you on how you use it.
Whether developing professionally or personally, you’ll gain considerable advantage if you can effectively communicate in writing.
Your Mistakes Are Your Style
Perfection is procrastination masquerading as quality control.
Learn by doing. The mistakes you make along the way only serve to make you better.
“Artists: You do know, don’t you, that your mistakes are your style.” — Jerry Saltz, New York art critic
William Blake’s work is full of random capital letters, odd grammar, and mad comma choices. Boticelli drew ugly feet. And don’t forget Abraham Mignon and Pierre Bonnard’s insane takes on how a cat looks (screaming faces or extra long legs anyone?)
Don’t fear mistakes. Fear never doing enough to make any.
Transformation Doesn’t Happen Overnight
So just try to be a little better every day.
Consistency is the fuel that makes the fire of your potential burn bright.
A little bit of pain today means a little less tomorrow.
Development compounds. Each discipline you improve in moves you closer to unlocking your latent power.
Assume Luck Doesn’t Exist (Or That You’re Immune To It)
Presume you’re cursed and will have to work at least twice as hard as everyone else to get anywhere.
Not to feel picked on, or like a victim. The jury’s out on whether you can control your luck, or change it.
But you can only control your effort. So become a force of nature. Outwork even the possibility of bad luck.
A lot of ‘luck’ is just preparation manifesting in outcome anyway. Like this famous ‘fluke’. A lot of this ‘luck’ comes from being skilled enough to even think you can do it. Years of reps, focus, and failure compounded into one moment.
Luck, or physics?
“Luck looks like genius in retrospect.” — Alex Hormozi
Storytelling Is a Superpower
People are story machines.
We love hearing them and we love telling them.
And we use them for everything:
- Sales
- Politics
- Marketing
- Cultural identity
So the better you are at understanding them and using them, the more influence you’ll have in life.
Refine your skills by:
- Reading more
- Writing more
- Understanding story frameworks (like the hero’s journey)
- Learning the basics of human psychology
In an Attention Economy, Actions Still Matter
The rise of social media has turned opinions into currency.
We used to be judged on our character, based on our actions. But now we’re judged on opinions, based on words.
Actions are hard to consistently counterfeit. Words aren’t. Just look at the impact of bots on modern politics.
But regardless of how much time people spend online, we still live in an offline world. You still need to encounter people on the street.
So work on yourself and make sure your actions reflect who you want to be.
…
Life’s a hell of a teacher. Just make sure you’re learning the right lessons.
What are your favourite lessons so far? Let me know in the comments.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
