Want to meet an awesome woman? Then you should become an awesome man — but how?
Want to meet an awesome woman? Then you should become an awesome man — but how? Conventional wisdom on the topic is usually lacking. “Just be confident” or “just be yourself” doesn’t seem to work. Rather, the right experiences will create your man-foundation.
As a man, you have to build yourself from the inside out before any quality woman will be compelled to date you. Who you are on the inside will bleed into every interaction you have, no matter how you dress it up.
The issue many men have when they want to meet women is that they are too focused on techniques. “What do I say?” they ask, as opposed to building themselves up as the kind of men that others respect.
Experience is the flavor in a man’s personality. The more you have, the spicier you are and the more interesting you will be to the opposite sex. It also creates a solid foundation for confidence.
You don’t need to become an insensitive, overtly testosterone-charged Hulk to be a real man. A real man claims his masculinity from action and assertiveness.
Build your life as a solid man and your results with women will become just as compelling. Suddenly, you will find that women who were previously out of your league are showing interest.
Seek out all challenges and focus on hunting fear ruthlessly. Every fear you attack with decisive action will build your foundation. Not only will you attract high quality women who want to date you, but they will also want to stay in your life. Here are eight unique ways a man can build real confidence:
As a skinny, weak and insecure 21-year-old, I started to learn the sweet sport of boxing. I’ll never forget the first real punch I took. It opened my eyes to the reality of fighting — and it was a shocker. It also exposed the reality of fear, which combat can rouse.
My first fight was a huge eye opener, um, literally. None of us really know what we’re made of until we test our steel.
2. Get Social, Everywhere
Although it’s not the cornucopia of confidence, the act of approaching complete strangers will crush your social fears. Rejection will be your best teacher, and it’s the best way to develop immunity to rejection.
By talking to complete strangers, you can become sensitive to body language, social cues and the right way to walk up to a person without sending him or her running. Getting dates isn’t so bad, either.
3. Public Speaking
If public speaking is the public’s primary fear, the majority of you reading this should be up at the podium. It’s a thrill to speak to an audience and give value to people on a topic from which you know that they can benefit. Whatever your passion may be, make it a point to create some opportunities for yourself to get up and speak.
4. Stand-Up Comedy
Getting on stage can be one of the most exhilarating ways to become bulletproof to criticism.
Not only is it awesome to make people laugh, but you will also learn that it really doesn’t matter what others think of you. Making people laugh on stage is a step up from basic public speaking, and it will give you nerves of steel.
Dealing with the public through sales will teach you a ton about reading body language and also force you to deal with the resistance that so many of us have to salespeople. If you overcome this challenge, your customers will love you, and you will have another skill in your social toolbox.
Calming your mind will help you to focus your thoughts. Overcoming fears has a lot to do with being present and not being distracted by negative “what ifs.” Don’t try to be an amateur psychic and guess the future. Learn meditation to become in tune with the present moment and handle stress more effectively.
Volunteering to help other people will create an immense sense of pride, and this will change the way you will feel about yourself, for the positive. Just as with other aspects of the philosophy to build your life, volunteering won’t give you immediate results, but it will help you create something meaningful on the inside.
8. Live In Another Country
Truly transforming yourself would not be complete without taking on real adventures and living in another country. A small mind is usually a mind that has not been anywhere. Open your eyes to the ways other people are living, as it will dramatically flavor your personality.
A man who has experienced the world has much more to offer to a high-quality woman than a man who has never left port. You will be more daring, less risk averse and much more exciting and cultured after experiencing another way of life. You can even become “the most interesting man in the world.”
Buy a one-way plane ticket; it’ll grow hair on your chest. Flavor your existence with rich experiences. If you want to build your confidence, get an awesome relationship and not be frozen from fear, then cover all of your bases. To build your life as a man, stay uncomfortable with as many new experiences as possible.
by Eddy Baller
This post originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.