When you have kids, there’s no doubt that you’re going to miss them when they fly the nest. You feel like your life has been filled with joy, excitement, and laughter when they were around. But as they grow up, their presence in your home becomes less frequent and sometimes even non-existent during certain periods. Then one day you wake up and the children have gone.
This is known as empty nest syndrome (ENS). ENS can be difficult for parents because they don’t know how long this feeling will last — it could be months or years! However, there are ways to cope with empty nest syndrome so that surviving this transition won’t affect your quality of life too much.
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1. Reconnect with your partner
It’s important to share the changes that have happened in your life, and how you feel about them, with each other. Talk about how much time you spend apart from each other now that the kids are gone.
It doesn’t matter if these conversations don’t come easily at first — you’ll get there eventually! Just keep trying until one of you finally opens up about something that’s been bothering them for a while now without knowing why exactly.
2. Keep the home fires burning
Just because your children are grown and flown the nest doesn’t mean they’ve left all of their stuff behind. Your home will still feel cozy and welcoming, even if it’s empty.
You could go back to using candles in every room or adding some fresh flowers to the vase on your coffee table — you don’t need an entire closet filled with expensive items to make it feel like a home!
If you’re in the process of downsizing, don’t be afraid to let go of things that no longer fit into your life. It may be hard to part with certain items. But it will make it easier for you to move forward and enjoy your new space.
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3. Start a new project together
Get outside and enjoy nature. Watch a movie or read a book. Spend time with friends and family. Take a nap or take a walk. Go on a date with your significant other. Meditate or pray. Write in a journal, draw, paint, or doodle.
Take up a new hobby, like gardening or woodworking. Go to the library and read books on topics that interest you. If you have pets, spend time with them. Take a walk outside in nature — even if it’s just around your neighbourhood.
4. Embrace volunteering
Volunteering is a great way to connect with other people and make a difference in the world. It can also help you feel good about yourself, which is especially important when you’re feeling overwhelmed by your new empty nest syndrome.
Check with your local community centre to see if they offer volunteer opportunities for parents of school-aged children. Some schools have programs that match up parent volunteers with classroom teachers or students in need of help with homework or projects.
5. Challenge yourself
Your new life as a single parent will be full of obstacles, but you can find ways to make it easier. Challenge yourself by trying something new:
Go on an adventure with your kids and make memories that last a lifetime.
Try out a sport or activity that you’ve never tried before (or maybe the same one again). For example, I’m working on getting back into hiking after being away from it for so long!
Take classes at your local community college or university — you may discover something you love doing as well as meet new people who share common interests with you.
6. Spend time with other empty nesters
Find a support group. If you’re still feeling isolated, consider joining a local or online group of empty nesters to share your experiences and help each other find new ways to cope with the change in your life.
Make friends with other empty nesters. The more friends that you have who are going through similar things, the better! You can talk about it together or just hang out for fun and laughs — whatever works for each person individually, whether it’s going out for dinner or hanging out at home watching TV shows.
7. Allow yourself to grieve
Allow yourself to feel sad about the changes that are happening in your life, and don’t feel guilty about it. You are allowed to be sad, but only because you’ve lost something good — not because you’re a bad person or have done something wrong. It’s important not to compare your kids’ experiences with your own as they grow older (or younger).
8. Find new ways to connect with your kids and grandkids
Try to find new ways to connect with your children and/or grandchildren if you have them. It could be weekly to fortnightly family meals together.
Thanks to technology being able to connect people anywhere around the globe instantly via phones or computers you can feel more connected than ever. I still send food pics to my father and my daughter will send me what she’s been baking.
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In Summary
Empty nest syndrome is a real thing. It’s okay to feel sad about it and there are ways to help you through this transition.
Empty Nest Syndrome (ENS) is the term used to describe the feelings of grief associated with leaving your children behind as they begin their lives on their own. You may have experienced ENS when your child went off to college or even just graduated senior school.
Empty nest syndrome is a common experience. You may be feeling sad about losing your children, but there are ways to help you get through this transition, like volunteering, discovering a new hobby or spending time with other empty nesters.
💠Have you experienced empty nest syndrome? How did you cope?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: The Dark Queen on Unsplash
