9 Counterintuitive Things Happy Couples Learn To Do Early in Their Relationships

“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his partner.” — Franz Schubert

Many people want the same thing in relationships. To love someone completely, and to have that love wholeheartedly reciprocated.

Sometimes, to cultivate a happy and healthy relationship, successful couples may do things that seem counterintuitive but are actually the best thing to do in the long run.

Many times, the relationships have the signs of compatibility.

However, beyond that, there are things that happy couples learn to do early in their relationships to improve their chances of a successful relationship.

So, without further ado, here are 9 counterintuitive things happy couples learn to do early in their relationships

1. They learn how to fight

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” — E. E. Cummings

In a happy and healthy relationship, both partners feel safe enough to express their anger and frustration with each other without fear of retribution.

They understand that fighting is not only normal but can actually be beneficial to the relationship.

According to John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, happy couples use conflict as an opportunity to grow closer to each other.

They view it as a chance to air their grievances and to work together towards a resolution.

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2. Happy couples know how to communicate

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” — George Bernard Shaw

Communication is key in any relationship.

It’s the only way to truly understand your partner’s needs and feelings. Without communication, couples are more likely to misunderstand and misinterpret each other, which can lead to conflict.

Happy couples know how to express their needs and desires in a clear and respectful way. They also know how to listen to their partner’s perspective and to compromise when necessary.

If you want to improve your communication skills, there are plenty of resources available, including books, articles, and workshops.

According to the experts, communication is one of the most important skills for a happy and successful relationship.

Couples who are able to communicate effectively are more likely to stay together in the long run.

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3. Happy couples don’t necessarily have the same interests

“Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” — Khalil Gibran

It’s not necessary for couples to share all the same interests, but it is important that they respect and appreciate each other’s interests.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel free to pursue their own hobbies and activities, without feeling guilty or judged.

According to relationship expert Susan Krauss Whitbourne, one of the key components to a happy and lasting relationship is each partner’s ability to maintain their own sense of identity.

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4. Happy couples are not afraid to argue

“The art of argument and debate is a hallmark of Western civilization, one of its greatest achievements. It is also the bedrock of a good relationship.” — Alain de Botton

Arguing with your partner doesn’t mean that you don’t love or respect each other. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time. Couples who are afraid of conflict tend to bottle up their grievances, which can lead to resentment and bitterness.

Arguing in a constructive and respectful way is actually a sign of a strong relationship. It shows that you feel confident enough to express your opinions and that you’re willing to listen to and consider your partner’s perspective.

According to research from Gottman, couples who argue effectively are actually more likely to stay together in the long run.

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5. Happy couples know how to compromise

“The secret to a happy marriage is understanding that sometimes, it’s necessary to be a little bit selfish.” — Anonymous

In any relationship, there will be times when both partners need to give and take. Compromise is not about giving up what you want, it’s about finding a middle ground that meets the needs of both partners.

For example, if one partner wants to go out for drinks with friends and the other wants to stay in and watch a movie, they could compromise by going out for drinks first and then coming home to watch the movie.

Or if one partner wants to spend the weekend with their family and the other wants to go camping, they could compromise by spending one day with the family and then going camping for the rest of the weekend.

“Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

According to experts, the ability to compromise is one of the most important skills for a happy and successful relationship.

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6. Happy couples make time for each other

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.” — Thomas Jefferson

It’s important to make time for your partner, even when you’re busy with work, family, and other obligations.

Happy couples know that their relationship is a priority and they make time for each other, even if it’s just a few minutes every day. They love each other and it shows.

One way to make time for your partner is to schedule regular date nights or weekend getaways. This will give you some quality time together without distractions.

According to love coach and therapist, Anita Chlipala, happy couples make time for each other because they know that their relationship is a priority.

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7. Happy couples are supportive of each other

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” — Mignon McLaughlin

Happy couples are supportive of each other’s goals and dreams. They know that a strong relationship is built on partnership and mutual respect.

For example, if one partner is trying to quit smoking, the other partner will be supportive and understanding. Or if one partner is trying to lose weight, the other will be encouraging and helpful.

A supportive partner will also be there for you during difficult times, such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job.

According to relationship expert, Amy Morin, happy couples are supportive of each other because they know that a strong relationship is built on partnership and mutual respect.

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8. Happy couples don’t take each other for granted

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” — Melody Beattie

Happy couples know that they need to work to keep the spark alive in their relationship.

They don’t take each other for granted and they make an effort to show their appreciation.

For example, they might say “thank you” for small things, like making dinner or taking out the trash. They might also give each other compliments and praise.

Couples who don’t take each other for granted are more likely to maintain a happy and healthy relationship in the long run.

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9. Happy couples are comfortable being themselves around each other

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” — Michel de Montaigne

Happy couples are comfortable being themselves around each other. They don’t feel the need to put on a show or act like someone they’re not.

They know that their partner loves them for who they are, flaws and all.

Being comfortable with your partner is an important part of a happy and healthy relationship.

As a result, happy couples have fun together.

“The secret to having it all is knowing that you already do.” — Oprah Winfrey

Happy couples know how to have fun together. They enjoy spending time with each other and they learn to be their most authentic selves around their partner.

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