9 Joys of Single Life

There’s a high chance that you clicked on this article because you are single too. Statistically, there’s a 30% chance that you are. That is how many singles there are on average across the globe in 2022. That’s a lot of people who will be in many different stages of singledom. No matter how good it is to be on your own at times, there’s always that feeling that it would be great to do life with a quality partner who can share in the good times, and the hard times as well.

The stats for single people are not great. There are many social well being studies published that outline all of the drawbacks for people who are not in relationships. Now that I have experienced the bliss of being single for two years, it got me thinking that I wanted to put something out there that negates some of these findings. Single life can be absolutely awesome in so many ways!

Although some of these reasons why single life is great seem trivial, they are the little things that you really do miss when you are in a relationship. Relationships can be fulfilling, but as we all know they take a lot of compromise, and if you end up with someone who is not at all compatible on the big issues, they can actually be soul destroying. Sometimes, it’s nice just to bask in the solitude that comes with living on your own and without anybody else to factor into your life’s decisions.

On those lonely days when I really feel the absence of a mate to share in the ups and downs of life, I think about all the reasons why I actually really love the single life at times.

It’s definitely a trade off, and it got me thinking about all the best things that come from being on my own.

Here are my Top 9 ‘real’ reasons why being single is awesome.

No pressure to wax — Oh the absolute joy of not feeling like I have to rip the hairs out of my pubis by the roots every 3 weeks. When you are in a new relationship, there is more pressure to maintain yourself intimately. When you’re single you can let it all go if you want to.
You own the remote — You’ve had a really hard day at work and you’re in the mood to collapse and have a complete brain break with a bit of couch and Netflix time? Want to watch sport all night? Binge on your latest Netflix show? Blast your questionable 90s playlist? No problem when you’re single. The remote is yours!
You choose the menu — When I was with my ex I really wanted to explore going semi plant based. He moaned because he really didn’t want to give up meat, no matter how delicious or enticing I made the meat free meals or even if I just suggested one vegetarian night a week. Although I was free to still cook my own plant based meals, it became a big hassle to try and cook a separate meal from each other with different timing etc. It was easier just to fall into the habit of cooking with meat. It’s a real treat to be able to think about only what I want to eat each day and not have to plan ahead all the time. Some nights you just feel like eating toast for dinner, no problem when you’re cooking for one.
Holidays — Planning holidays when you are single is an absolute breeze. You need only think about where you want to go and what you are wanting to get out of the experience. You make the call on how extravagant you want to be with accommodation or whether you are happy to go grassroots and travel on a shoestring. Once you’re there, you get to decide which places you want to visit. No couples arguments about where to go or where to eat. When I’m on holiday now (even local holidays) I notice how many couples are falling out around me and it definitely helps me to find gratitude in being able to travel alone.
Farting freely — Hear me out on this one ok? I know that sounds preposterous to those who have been married forever and just fart whenever they feel the need. (Been there, done that) But when you are dating, and moving into a semi serious situation, farting can be really bloody embarrassing! I’ve spent many nights in discomfort trying to hold them in until I can get to a private spot. Now I never have to hold them in. There’s a lot to be said for that type of freedom!
You can spread eagle on the bed — Another one that may seem trivial to some, but when you are a light sleeper, or you feel particularly hot in bed (no pun intended) being able to starfish out on the whole mattress is absolute bliss. Especially when you throw in the ability to fart without embarrassment. Winning!
Financial freedom— Money is a HUGE factor between people in relationships. It can be the source of many disagreements. Yes, when you live with someone else, the costs are shared. However, there usually needs to be a consultation about HOW the extra is spent or saved. If you’re on your own, you have complete and utter authority over your own money and where it goes. When I was married, every single purchase was a joint purchase that had to be agreed upon, there was always a feeling of guilt when I spent money on something only on myself. I am really enjoying the freedom of not having to explain where I want to spend or invest my money. It’s very liberating!
Personal growth — When I was younger, in my single years before marriage, I was always journaling, reading about self improvement, writing music and poetry. Once I got into a long term relationship I stopped journaling because I was paranoid that my partner would find my diary, I didn’t feel safe to truly write down my innermost thoughts. Then, in my marriage, I felt like there wasn’t enough time between being a mum and spending time with my husband to do any of those things. I put myself at the bottom of the priority list. Now that I am single again, I am able to really focus on my personal and spiritual growth, and I’ve realised how much pure joy this practise brings me. I know that I should not have let these things fall by the wayside, and I am determined to find ways to keep them as an integral part of life when I find myself in a relationship again.
Dating — Although dating can be tiring at times, it can also be an exciting feeling to not know what is in your romantic future, and to know that it’s in your full control. For example, if you do meet someone that you are interested in, you have the complete freedom to pursue the possibility of getting to know them. You can flirt or appreciate someone’s attractiveness without feeling guilty. When you are in a good space emotionally, this type of energy exchange is very enjoyable, and you can appreciate the boost that it gives your confidence.

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Being single is a choice. We all know that we could find just any old body to slot into our personal space if we really wanted to. Once we understand that there is purpose in choosing to be alone, and that relationships are not necessary for every stage of our lives, we can truly enjoy all the benefits of being on our own.

Quality relationships require a lot of time, energy, thought, care and perseverance, they don’t just happen. So while you are being single on purpose, find the joy. Appreciate the tiny little things that we all take for granted when we are not in relationships. Remember too, that for every happy relationship, there is a lot of compromise going on behind the scenes. Savour this time that you are taking just for you and embrace all of the wonderful experiences that being single has to offer!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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