1. What Is Happiness?
Happiness. We all want it, we all chase it, but what the heck is it? Is it a golden retriever running in slow motion through a field of daisies? Maybe. But let’s look at what science says about this elusive feeling.
2. The Chemical Cocktail Party
Let’s kick off with serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins — our brain’s happy juice. Pop quiz: Can you inject happiness? No, you can’t — unless you want to be a human lab rat. Sure, these chemicals play a role, but they’re part of a larger puzzle. Imagine going to a party with only chips; it’s not a party, it’s a snack attack.
3. The Hedonic Treadmill
The Hedonic Treadmill theory suggests that we return to a baseline level of happiness, no matter what happens in life. Win the lottery or lose your job; you’ll eventually come back to your “happy set point.” Kind of like how your grandma’s meatloaf always tastes the same, no matter how much ketchup you douse it with.
4. Money Can’t Buy Happiness… Or Can It?
Money can rent a pretty good time up to a point (~$75,000 a year). After that, its impact plateaus faster than you can say “declining marginal utility.”
5. Experiences Over Material Goods
Buying a shiny new gadget? Cool. But research says experiences bring more happiness. That’s right, the awkward family picnic might bring you more joy than the latest iPhone. Why? Memories age like fine wine, while gadgets become obsolete.
6. Relationships and Community
Being around people boosts our happiness — unless you’re around a perpetual complainer, of course. A Harvard study lasting 80 years found that the key to a happy life is solid relationships. Not rocket science, but it’s easy to forget when you’re knee-deep in work or Netflix binges.
7. Mindfulness and Present Moment
The practice of mindfulness teaches us to live in the present. Ironically, thinking too much about being happy can make you less happy. It’s the paradox of happiness. Like trying to remember a dream, the more you chase it, the faster it slips away.
8. Exercise and Diet
Exercise releases endorphins, which are happiness hormones. A balanced diet can also play a role. A diet rich in fruits, veggies, and lean protein can help regulate mood. Imagine that, eating your greens could make you green — with happiness!
9. Gratitude: The Hidden Gem
Practicing gratitude can uplift your mood and even improve your physical health. However, gratitude is a widely misunderstood term and grossly incomplete. Can you practice gratitude towards someone who is a danger to your life? Can you feel gratitude to someone who just broke your heart and told the world about it? Can you feel gratitude to a tribal living in the Amazon Forest who you never heard of? The answer in all cases is ‘no’. At times you give gratitude but receive hate in return, can you carry on with gratitude? Is gratitude justified or would you still be grateful if you knew that the real intentions of the person who you feel gratitude for, is to harm you?
As you can see, gratitude sometimes doesn’t make sense and sometimes it is impossible to give.
I am the author of the Unified Theory of Emotions which you can read by clicking here. I have called and defined gratitude as ‘Thankfulness’. The Unified Theory of Emotions (UNITE) describes 3 factors that result in all positive or negative emotions. These are
Subject 1: It is you or the person whose emotions are to be evaluated towards Subject 2.
Subject 2: It is any person. Group, animal, object, spirit, cause, or your state of mind.
Trouble: Any physical or mental effort undertaken because of Subject 2 in the past, present or expected, feared, or committed in the future. UNITE rates them on a scale of 0 to 10
Blame / No Blame / Thankfulness: Blame means you don’t like the Trouble and Blame Subject 2. No Blame is when you neither Blame nor are Thankful to Subject 2 for the Trouble. Thankfulness is when you are Thankful to Subject 2 for the Trouble. UNITE rates Blame on a scale of -10 to -1 while No Blame/Thankfulness score goes from 1 to 10.
PPP or Potential Physical Proximity: It is the actual or assumed actual or potential closeness between your physical body and the physical body of Subject 2. UNITE rates PPP on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 is very far with no potential to ever come near and 10 is for a relationship like mother and child where the physical body of one is/was/will be inside the physical body of the other.
Here are certain rules to remember. You can test them on yourself or anyone else right now and verify their correctness
1. If you take no Trouble, you cannot love or hate.
2. The higher the Trouble, the higher the love or hate you will feel
3. The higher the PPP, the higher the love or hate you will feel.
4. The only factor that decides whether you will feel positive emotions or love for Subject 2 is No Blame / Thankfulness.
5. The only factor that decides whether you will feel negative emotions or hate for Subject 2 is Blame.
6. You can assign a number when you want to evaluate your feelings and multiply all 3 numbers to get your emotional score.
a. If it is zero, you are neutral. You don’t feel love or hate.
b. If the score is negative, you feel negative emotions.
c. If the score is positive, you feel positive emotions towards Subject 2.
If you want to change your emotions, you need to work on all 3 parameters that are necessary for the kind and intensity of emotions felt.
Gratitude alone does not work in most situations. For example:
Can you feel gratitude toward someone who destroyed your life maybe murdered one of your family members and remains a threat to your life?
Can you have gratitude, if you are poor, chronically ill, and homeless having been cheated out of all your money?
Can you feel gratitude for a random person walking on the street while whistling and littering at the same time?
If you do feel gratitude for someone or something, are you feeling it enough? How exactly are you supposed to feel gratitude?
As you can see, gratitude or thankfulness on its own is difficult to practice. Whether you know it or not, a combination of the 3 factors of Trouble (as defined), Blame / No Blame / Thankfulness ( as defined), and PPP or Potential Physical Proximity (as defined) will decide what you feel and how happy or otherwise, you are.
I have explained the entire theory here. But I am aware that, most people may not be able to grasp the full scope of the theory without knowing everything about it. That is why a link to the article containing the detailed theory is given at the end.
Conclusion
Happiness isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula. It’s a complex, multi-faceted gem that changes with light and perspective. So, keep in mind, that happiness is not a destination but an enriching journey. Master the Unified Theory of Emotions to decode all emotions and feel forever happy.
…
Familiarise yourself with the Unified Theory of Emotions. You need it. I would love to help you understand it and use it in your personal, official, and spiritual relationships for more happiness.
How to Control Your Own Feelings and Influence Others’: A Guide to Emotional Management
Unlock the Secrets through the TAB Unified Theory of Emotions
medium.com
You can check your emotional score for anyone or anything or anyone’s emotional score for you. Click here
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Tim Mossholder on Unspalsh
