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The father’s day celebration is observed by most countries on the third Sunday of June. It is a day set aside annually to recognize and celebrate fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in the society.
My dad thinks that dads should be celebrated and not just fathers. He asserts that being a dad is different from being a father. “Being a father is easy” he usually says. “Any man can be a father. The hard one is being a dad, it comes with unlimited responsibilities.”
Here are 9 profound things my father taught me about becoming a great dad.
1. Be your children’s role model
As a young teenager growing up, I was faced with peer pressure from time to time. I had classmates who performed drunken binges, fought like thugs, and did drugs. I didn’t like that type of life.
At a time however, my curiosity started pushing to have a taste of what they were having.
Fortunately I never did. I found it impossible to live like those chaps because I had a better example to follow.
For instance, the main reason I will never hit or cheat on my wife is not just because it is wrong, but because my dad never did it.
Be the dad that your children can look up to. Be a role model to them.
2. Spend time with your kids
Even though your job is very demanding, you must always make out time for your children. They are the reason you are called ‘dad’ in the first place.
Depending on their age, temperaments, and environment, they would need you to spend time with them in different ways.
Some of your kids may need you to tuck them in bed and read them a story before they sleep. Other ones may want you to accompany them to watch their favorite team play a game.
Choose to be a great dad by spending time with them.
3. Protect your family
Protecting your family as a father doesn’t mean you need to become Bruce Lee. Nobody is asking you to learn knife fights or to become a karate expert.
One of your primary responsibilities as a dad however, is to protect your family at all costs. Show them that you’re capable of providing security, not just physically but emotionally.
Don’t just keep them safe, make them feel safe.
4. Show affection
Your kids need to know that you are fond of them. Make them know that they are more important to you than your job.
It is not enough to provide for them and take care of their basic needs. They need to know that you are not just trying to keep up with your fatherhood ‘job description’. They need to know through your words and action that you truly care.
Get interested in their life, not to judge but to guide them. Listen to their challenges and show concern.
Be their friend. Make them trust you, and they will.
5. Secure your family’s financial future
One of my lecturers in school always told us, “If you think education is expensive, try Ignorance.”
The rate of global inflation is skyrocketing. But no matter how expensive things are, those children deserve to be taken care of.
There are so many financial plans and policies available today. Pick one up and safeguard the financial future of your kids.
They need your support until they can stand on their own.
6. Eat together
One of the things that make many grownups miss home when they move out is the time they spend on the dining table eating together as a family.
If you have been doing this before, keep it up. If not, start it now. This habit encourages conversations that helps family relationships bond stronger.
You get to know your children uniqueness, character flaws and strengths when you begin eating together with them.
7. Discipline with a gentle spirit
In most families, discipline occurs in either of two extremes.
The first type involves a setting where the father leaves his children to do as they please without any form of correction whatsoever.
The other extreme involves fathers who abuse their children both physically and psychologically.
However, there is supposed to be a third setting where both extremes are balanced.
To be a great dad, you should provide boundaries and guidance on your children’s way of life. The secret is to be gentle but firm.
Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by your kids. Let them know that when you say No, you mean No. And most importantly, there are consequences for every wrong action.
8. Pray together
They say that a family that prays together stays together. That saying is true.
One of the best things you can do for your children is to introduce them to God. Let them know that you can’t be everything for them, but God can. Don’t just pray for them, pray with them.
Raise an altar of prayer in your family if you don’t have one. This altar should serve as a place where you worship God and equally present your needs to him.
This altar should also be a place altar of admonition and instructions on how your children should live.
They shouldn’t get it from YouTube or from their peers. It is your job. Irrespective of how independent they may seem, they need guidance. Give it to them.
9. Involve your family in your decisions.
So many fathers make the decisions that involve their children without bothering to consult them.
Before you give the order that “Nobody should be outside this house after 10 pm”, talk with them about why you want to make that decision.
Let them know that it is in their best interest.
In conclusion, my father showed me that being a dad is a full time job. In his words, “it is the true measure of manliness.”
Photo credit: Getty Images
Hello Tom,
I appreciate your honest contribution to the topic. The point you raised is very valid because being able to admit one’s mistakes and errors or to apologise for them is a trait that can only be found in great men.
I am happy you are one of such men, and that you are passing down such a wonderful character to all the people looking up to you.
Keep it up, and thanks again for sharing our thoughts.
Toby, I agree with everything you said and thank you for saying it. The only thing i would add is admitting when your wrong. My dad, who is the greatest man I’ve known, struggled with that and I remember as a kid, when he was wrong he never said it. He’d do things to compensate for his being wrong but never said the words. I knew he knew when he was wrong and I didn’t “need” to say the words. Raising my own kids, I let them know when I was wrong about something. I carry that attitude with the… Read more »