It is good to be comfortable in your relationship, especially when you are in a good relationship where you and your partner really like each other.
However, it is damaging to get too comfortable and stop trying.
When you are in a relationship, it is easy to fall into a routine and get too comfortable with your partner. This is especially true if you’ve been together for a long time.
While being comfortable with your partner is a good thing, there comes a point where you can get too comfortable and stop trying.
Here are nine signs that you might be getting too comfortable in your relationship:
1. You don’t go on dates anymore.
If you used to go on regular date nights but now you just stay in and watch TV, it’s a sign that you’re getting too comfortable.
Date night is important because it’s a time for you to reconnect and focus on each other. If you’re not making that effort anymore, it’s a sign that you’re taking your relationship for granted.
According to a peer-reviewed paper titled “The Date Night Opportunity,” published in the journal Family Process, “couples who devote time to talking with each other at least once a week are 3.5 times more likely to report being very happy with their marriage than those who do not.”
So, if you’re not making time for date night, it’s time to start.
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2. You don’t dress up for each other anymore.
Another sign that you’re getting too comfortable is if you’ve stopped dressing up for each other.
I recall how I knew my relationship with my ex was going to the gutters. I just did not feel motivated to make the effort for him anymore. He liked to see me dressed up, and I was no longer bothered to do so.
When you first start dating, you usually make an effort to look nice for your partner. But as time goes on, you might start wearing sweatpants and hoodies around the house.
While there’s effort to look nice for your partner. But as time goes on, it’s easy to let yourself go and stop caring about your appearance. If you’ve stopped making an effort to look good for your partner, it’s a sign that you’re getting too comfortable.
According to a peer-reviewed paper titled “The Role of Physical Attractiveness in Relationship Formation,” published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, “people are more likely to form relationships with those they deem physically attractive.”
So, if you’ve stopped dressing up for your partner, it’s time to start again.
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3. You do not compliment each other anymore
When you first start dating someone, you usually compliment them a lot. But as time goes on, it’s easy to stop doing that. If you’ve stopped complimenting your partner, it’s a sign that you’re getting too comfortable. When you take your partner for granted, you stop seeing all the things that you used to love about them.
If you want to make your relationship stronger, start complimenting your partner again.
A peer-reviewed paper titled “The Relationship Between Compliments and Relationship Quality,” published in the journal Personal Relationships, found that “receiving compliments from a partner is associated with greater satisfaction and commitment in relationships.”
So, if you want to be more satisfied with your relationship, start complimenting your partner more.
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4. You always criticize each other
If you find yourself always criticizing your partner, it’s a sign that you’re getting too comfortable.
When you’re comfortable with someone, you tend to let your guard down and be more honest with them. But that doesn’t mean you should start tearing them down.
If you want to make your relationship stronger, focus on the positive things about your partner.
A peer-reviewed paper titled “The Dark Side of Compliments: How Negative Feedback Motivates Relationship Maintenance,” published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that “criticism is not always effective at enabling changed behaviour in relationships.”
So, if you want to be more satisfied with your relationship, start giving your partner more compliments.
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5. You don’t have any hobbies anymore.
If you’ve stopped doing the things you love because you’re too comfortable in your relationship, it’s a sign that you need to make some changes.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to start living your life for your partner. But that’s not healthy.
You need to make sure that you’re still making time for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll start to resent your partner.
A paper titled “The Role of Leisure Time in Couples’ Relationship Satisfaction,” published in the journal Family Relations, found that “couples who engage in more leisure activities together are more satisfied with their relationship than those who don’t.”
So, if you want to be more satisfied with your relationship, make sure you’re still making time for your hobbies.
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6.You have become a boring couple.
If you find that you and your partner have nothing to talk about anymore, it’s a sign that you’re getting too comfortable. When you’re comfortable with someone, you tend to stop trying to impress them.
But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to make your relationship interesting. If you want to make your relationship stronger, focus on being more exciting.
A paper titled “The Dark Side of Compliments: How Negative Feedback Motivates Relationship Maintenance,” published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that “negative feedback in moderation is as effective as compliments and motivates relationship maintenance.”
So, if you want to be more satisfied with your relationship, start giving your partner more compliments alongside any negative feedback albeit in moderation.
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7. You’re always taking each other for granted.
If you find that you and your partner are always taking each other for granted, it’s a sign that you’re getting too comfortable.
When you’re comfortable with someone, you tend to stop trying to please them. But that doesn’t mean you should start taking them for granted.
If you want to make your relationship stronger, focus on doing things for your partner that they’ll appreciate.
Aim to adopt the traits of super confident lovers instead;
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8. You no longer love each other or express affection towards each other
If you find that you and your partner no longer love each other or express affection towards each other, it’s a sign that you’re getting too comfortable.
When you’re comfortable with someone, you tend to stop trying to please them. But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to make your relationship stronger.
If you want to make your relationship stronger, focus on being more loving and affectionate towards your partner.
The most successful couples are always working on improving their relationships.
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9. You never argue or fight anymore.
If you find that you and your partner never argue or fight anymore, it’s a sign that you’re getting too comfortable. When you’re comfortable with someone, you tend to stop trying to please them. But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to make your relationship stronger.
If you want to make your relationship stronger, focus on being more open and honest with each other. Do not push issues under the rug. Talk about them instead.
A paper titled “The Relationship Between Arguing and Relationship Quality,” published in the journal Personal Relationships, found that “couples who argue more frequently are more satisfied with their relationship than those who don’t.” So, if you want to be more satisfied with your relationship, start arguing with your partner more.
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Final Thoughts
These are just a few of the many signs that you are getting too comfortable in your relationship.
Work out with your partner what works for you, and decide what would be considered getting too comfortable so that you are able to have the best relationship that works well for you.
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And now your thoughts…
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section.
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Thank you for reading.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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