9 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self

Imagine meeting someone who owns a time machine and wants to give you a once in a lifetime opportunity to travel back in time to talk to your younger self.

What would you do?

After pausing for a minute, I would tell my friend to travel back to 2000.

Living an extra 20 years on this earth has given me some insights into how life works in the real world after school. I remember telling myself that I wish I had an older brother who would guide me in life’s most significant decisions.

Once I arrived, I would go to the public basketball court where I spent my time when I felt stuck in life.

I would approach my young self and start the conversation. (Maybe even play one on one)

Below are the nine life lessons I would give to my younger self (and possibly you)

Loving yourself

I complained a lot about myself when I was much younger. I always clung to my shortcomings, past failures, and poor decisions.

I was critical of myself because I thought I wasn’t good enough.

I wish I had learned early that I have every right to be happy now even though I haven’t achieved anything.

Happiness is an inside job. You may get a temporary boost of happiness when you get something new or accomplish a new goal.

But happiness is a feeling that we can get once we realise that we are human and life in itself is more precious than any achieved goal or shiny object.

My message to my younger self: Love yourself, accept your flaws and be happy regardless of your lack of achievement.

“Happiness is a choice. You can actually achieve it and there is a method to make it happen. Happiness is not a coincidence, it is not given to you by life, it’s entirely our responsibility.” — Mo Gawdat (Author of Solve for Happy)

The need to impress

I’ve always wanted to get the respect of people. Coming from a 3rd world country, I always felt left out at school and in my social circle.

During this time, I’ve tried to get the respect of people by impressing them.
I would buy the nicest clothes and kicks that I could afford.

I got a sports car to feel like an accomplished individual in front of my so-called friends. I would even take hip hop dance lessons for two years, so I don’t feel awkward when going to a nightclub.

All it did, in the end, was increase my credit card debt and made me struggle to keep up with others who had more money and more class.

When I met my wife, she didn’t marry me for all of the things I tried to impress her. (She even hated the car because it was too loud)

The only trait I had that she liked was my confidence, even though I had no idea what I was doing half the time.

My message to my younger self: Don’t live to impress people that really couldn’t care less about you. You’re wasting your precious life!

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like”

— Will Rogers

Photo by iStockPhoto.com

Get more curious

There were moments when my curiosity led to something great in my life.
From reading a book about Neurolinguistics to travelling alone to countries like Japan and South Korea.

I even met my wife because I got curious about Korean culture.

I couldn’t believe how much I learned about a subject or a culture that I had no clue about. It also gave me a new perspective on life.

I’m one of those people that are not afraid to ask questions from someone about a subject that I’m curious about.

I wish I could have done more of this after school. Unfortunately, my addiction to video games got the best of me.

What I found interesting is that many of the most successful people in the world have a curious mindset.

My message to my younger self: Spend less time on video games and read more books, travel more and meet new exciting people to expand your perspective in life.

“I have no talent. I am only passionately curious” — Albert Einstein

Fail quick and Learn fast!

Although I started doing my first Side Hustle a few years after graduating from high school, I had a significant weakness that I couldn’t shake off.

My fear of failure.

I never learned how to create a side hustle from school, and I couldn’t get my answers from the internet at that time because it was still a new concept (Youtube didn’t exist at that time)

I’ve dreamt of starting an online business for years but was too scared. I had no mentor, and my parents have never run a business before.

It wasn’t until my friend convinced me to give it a try since it required very little capital.

I made a lot of mistakes on my first side hustle. Buying and selling items on eBay require a lot of work.

I needed to research, source products, take photos, create descriptions, price correctly, and postage the items.

Although I had to shut the operation down after eight months of trading, I learned a lot which gave me the confidence to try out different side hustles.

My message to my younger self: Try a side hustle early. You’ll learn a lot of business and earn a decent side income which you can use to invest money or to travel.

I ended up creating five side hustles during this time.

“The side hustle economy is here to stay. It’s a social revolution that can improve our collective well-being and broaden our cultural approach to work. From security to extra income to confidence to fun, there are many benefits to a hustle. And when you start quickly and keep costs low, there’s very little risk.”

― Chris Guillebeau

Stuff doesn’t make you happy

There were things in my life that I thought would bring me happiness.

Living in the city, owning a sports car, having nice clothes, and an extensive collection of video games were things that I accumulated.

Although I felt satisfied at that moment, it never lasted.

I started to feel scarcity again even though I had so much to be grateful for.

It was a never-ending cycle of wanting more. Once I got what I wanted, I celebrate and enjoy it for a moment, then it was on to the next item to have.

It was because of this that I collected a big credit card debt.

I wasn’t proud of it, but I’ve always thought that everyone else had credit card debt and we’re allowed to live a little… right? (YOLO?)

I wish I stumbled across minimalism during this time but it didn’t become popular until around 2017.

My message to my younger self: Stuff won’t make you happy. You’ll realise it once you have many of your desires fulfilled. By then, you’ll be drowning in credit card debt. Save a portion of your money to invest and for travel.

Travel more

Travelling was something I should have done more during my twenties.

Although I could go to Japan and South Korea, I should have visited places closer to Australia like New Zealand, Indonesia (Bali) and Thailand.

Travel not only disconnects you from the daily grind, but it also opens up to learn about new cultures and meet other fellow travellers.

Travelling solo may have scared me off at first, but after trying it out in Japan, I realised it wasn’t that hard as long as I did some research before going.

My message to my younger self: Start saving up money for travelling. Bring a decent camera, a journal and travel insurance. Don’t be afraid to travel by yourself and enjoy what the world offers.

“Traveling — it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” — Ibn Battuta

Manage your thoughts

If there was one subject that should be included in the high school curriculum, it should be how to manage our mindset.

I wish I could learn more about my mindset in my twenties, as this is an area that affects every decision I make in life.

I didn’t learn about meditation until I was in my late twenties, but I knew it existed from reading personal development books.

My thoughts can be compared to the Expedition Everest rollercoaster in Disneyland. It goes up and down, front and back wildly without any control.

Nowadays, I use a few techniques to calm myself down during stressful moments, as well as practice gratitude daily.

You can read my post on using your mind to achieve your goals.

My message to my younger self: If you want to make the Law of Attraction work for you, you’ll need to first focus on your mindset. It’s your responsibility to practice daily gratitude and stay positive regardless of the outcomes.

Build powerful habits early

I struggled with this one in my younger days.

I didn’t have any structure to my daily routine. I just did what I felt like doing after work.

To build powerful habits, I’ll need to create a proper system to make it easier to complete weekly, like joining a gym close to my home or permanently having a book next to me to encourage reading rather than watching TV.

My message to my younger self: Start to build successful habits that will help you in the long run. Make it easy and achievable at first before going hardcore (like going to the gym every day)

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become”

— James Clear

Photo by iStockPhoto.com

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Start an automated saving plan

I failed on this one.

I had the YOLO mindset and wanted to buy things and make as many memories as possible without planning for my future.

If I had been able to automate this savings plan with my bank earlier on, I would have had more significant savings to buy my first home.

It wasn’t until I met my wife that I was able to be more financially responsible. She taught me that I could still have fun even though I had less to spend.

My message to my younger self: Call your bank and tell them to take out 20% of your monthly income to put in a savings account. The earlier you start, the better!

Final thoughts

Although I would have loved the idea of talking to my young self and giving him life-changing advice, I accept my past experiences and failures entirely since they are what gave me the life lessons I needed to be the person I have become.

The journey is what makes life beautiful. Do you agree?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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