9 Toxic Beliefs That Are Ruining Your Chances of Success

You’re casting spells on yourself. Your mind accepts everything you say as fact. It doesn’t acknowledge positive or negative; it just puts what you feed it into action.

By telling yourself negative things, you become your biggest obstacle to success.

Here are the beliefs holding you back from the life you want.

1. I don’t have time.

You have time to do whatever you want. You find time to watch tv, eat meals, sleep, and do the things that are important to you.

If you say you want something, yet are struggling to fit it into your schedule, maybe you don’t want it enough. Your words are irrelevant; your actions give away your intentions.

Stop checking your phone in the morning and messing around when you wake up. Go through your routines and cut the fluff. Find those little 15 or 30-minute gaps during your day and use them to pursue your passion.

Some people with the same amount of free time as you have found a way to follow their dreams. You aren’t a unique exception.

Make the time or give it up.

2. I don’t have the resources.

Some people have it easier than others. If you’re born to an upper-class family of millionaires, you have advantages that a poor kid doesn’t.

Now we’ve acknowledged that some other people have it easier than you, what will you do about it? Just give up and daydream about “what ifs”?

No, you owe it to yourself to succeed anyway. Talent and advantages matter, but not half as much as you think. Discipline and grit can take you a long way.

Your competition isn’t the rich kid from the top school. Your competition is you. Strive to be better today than you were yesterday. Don’t sell yourself short, and don’t EVER give up just because it’s hard.

3. I’m not good enough.

The world is harsh and cruel. Throughout life, people will try to take advantage and push you down to get themselves to the top. So how does it make sense to hate yourself? You’re giving them a helping hand.

A major part of what’s holding you back from achieving your dreams is you accept negative beliefs about yourself as fact. You put yourself at a disadvantage from the start.

Ask yourself why you believe you aren’t good enough. Back up this claim with evidence. Is there any evidence to the contrary that maybe you are fine the way you are?

By understanding where your self-loathing comes from, you can start countering it. Start telling yourself you are worthy and have the power to achieve your dreams. Positive spells work just the same as negative ones.

4. I’m a fraud.

Recently I interviewed a world-class writer. She has been published the old-fashioned way by a real publisher, and her accolades are vast. She is a seasoned public speaker who talks in front of hundreds about her recovery from mental illness, and she lectures at a top university.

While this person has been interviewed on the best news shows, I am new in the arena of interviewing guests.

I have two opposing beliefs in my head that create much tension. First, I believe I’m a good writer and would put my experience-led mental health articles against anyone. At the same time, I feel fraudulent and wonder why anyone would even bother with me. Surely they can see through my facade?

It turned out to be a big success. I’ve had similar interviews with other people now and have an extensive list to work through.

We all suffer from imposter syndrome at times. You can overcome this feeling by just keeping going. Keep doing the work, keep learning, and push yourself.

5. I fear success.

Many people have been conditioned not to be “greedy” since childhood. If we’re raised as working class, becoming rich might make us feel like traitors to our class. We fear our family would look down at us or disown us completely.

Many good people are taught to give everyone a chance and not to make a scene. They’re taught not to put themselves forward, not to take more than their share, and put others first.

These ideas are so ingrained that people sabotage their chances of success until they become aware of their programming.

How can you attract money, fame, or success if, deep down, you think those things make you a bad person?

6. Other people must like me.

Let’s be clear — it’s good when people like us. We shouldn’t go through life purposely being jerks, and we shouldn’t take pride in being dislikable.

But if having everyone like you is your primary motive for how you behave, chances are you’re being a pushover. It means you don’t have principles, don’t express yourself, and don’t assert your wants and needs.

It means you are invisible. No one has a bad word to say about you because no one notices.

Be bold. Stand up for yourself and your opinions. Realize that if someone doesn’t like you, it’s not the end of the world. Your goal is to create a small circle of loved ones that would follow you to the ends of the earth rather than having hundreds of lukewarm people that would step over you in the street.

If you want to make a difference in the world, you must risk being polarized.

7. I must be perfect.

Perfection is the enemy of progress and is procrastination in disguise. You aren’t sitting on the sidelines watching life pass you by because you want everything to be perfect. You’re just scared of failure and hard work and looking for excuses.

How do you get closer to perfection? Diligent and disciplined practice. You have to go through a period of sucking to become good. When I look at my old writing, it’s so bad it makes me cringe. I’ll feel the same way about my content in a year now. But I get better all the time.

I gave up the myth of perfection long ago. It’s an impossible standard that will keep you wasting your life — the holy grail you’ll never find.

Make progress and embrace the suck.

8. I’m not motivated.

The myth about motivation is that you have to wait for this magical feeling and then dive into your latest project and succeed beyond your wildest dreams. This myth means that you don’t do anything if you don’t feel motivated.

Some people go even further and quit altogether. They are perpetual beginners who throw themselves into a project while they feel excited, then cast it aside when the enthusiasm dies down and start something else. Their closets have musical instruments, chess sets, martial arts belts, and unfinished books. All representing wasted time and fleeting interests.

I’ve found motivation comes from action, not the reverse. There are many days I don’t feel like writing. I push through and do it anyway, and I start feeling motivated as I write. As doors open to me and people leave me kind comments, my motivation thrives.

Truthfully assess whether your interest or project is good for you in the long run. If it is, treat it like a job. You don’t wake up daily and ponder whether to go to work. You just go.

9. I don’t need help.

This one comes directly from the hell hole of Twitter, where toxic bro culture pumps out the same old tropes in the guise of daily self-help advice. The most egregious example is “No one’s coming to save you.”

Of course, this is garbage. If you’re lucky enough to have a caring family and friends, someone will have saved you at some point.

If you’ve ever been in danger, been a victim of a crime, or suffered a severe illness, someone has come to save you.

If you truly have no one coming to save you, you have severe problems, and I feel sorry for you. But this dangerous trope perpetuates the myth that men (because it’s always about men on Twitter) can and should survive on their own.

No one is an island, and we all need other people. Having someone help you at your lowest point could save your life, and having someone help you with a project could 10X your success.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help; be glad someone’s coming to save you. You’re one of the lucky ones.

Start taking action.

Starting now, be conscious of the way you talk to yourself. Catch how often you get in your way with damaging and faulty beliefs.

The best way to correct thoughts and feelings is with action. Prove to yourself how much you can get done with help, see your motivation when approaching it the right way, and be honest about your feelings.

If you support yourself instead of being your worst enemy, there are no limits to what you can achieve.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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