There are so many qualities that go into the making of a good man.
It is not cut and dry, by any means. Status has nothing to do with it. One doesn’t have to be rich or poor to qualify as a title holder. Looks matter none, either, while we’re on the subject. The most gorgeous of men can be douchebag assholes just as the guys who got the short end of the pretty stick can be the most charming of princes. It all has to do with how they value their ego.
Too much emphasis on its importance in life can have nasty results for any a man.
You see, many women value a man with heart. We see the good men in this world as the ones with compassion and empathy. Those who are driven and motivated in their lives to accomplish—doesn’t have to be any great feat, simply working hard to provide a stable life for one’s family is a worthy sentiment. Women want to see action that extends beyond the bedroom. We need to know that a man cares deeply enough to do something about it, even if it seems so small and trivial against the greater scheme of the world.
A man looks his sexiest, no matter how his appearance comes across, when he is passionate about life.
That’s what makes male models seem so alluring to women.
The attraction to their rock hard abs and tight, sculpted behinds is enhanced because they look like they are ready to take on the world and bring peace across all the lands. Fake as it may be, they have perfected the twinkling dreamy look that people get when they are intensely spirited about something. The look of greatness. A man need not be unclothed to be effective with such a look. It is seductive all on its own when it is genuine in person.
Unfortunately, women only tolerate the faked aspect in their fantasies and they can smell imposters a mile away. A man need not be a stunning, built, drop-dead gorgeous looking guy to be attractive to the right woman for them when he is being real with it.
Meaning, he has to have something he vehemently believes in and some action behind it to back up the sultry look.
Yet, we have a whole world full of men who think a stereotypical definition of muscularly fit body type matters any when it comes to whether, or not, they are good men. They truly believe that women will respect them for being physically fit alone. They run out and load up on supplements, herbal remedies, pharmaceutical help, prescription obtained synthetic hormones, and even illegal doses of pure steroids and comparable animal hormones. There’s nothing they won’t try to change their natural body chemistry around in order to maximize their efforts with very little exertion and become the fantasy image they believe is the man they should be.
It’s all ridiculous. The average guy is not a professional athlete, model, or actor.
There is more to living than being some stereotypical hottie. The value of good looks has spread from the big screen and into the real world; which was never meant to be, I don’t think. On top of it, since the villain is always the bad-looking of the good guy-bad guy running theme in movies and television, the implication that one is only a goody guy if he’s good looking has spilled right along with it. It is so far from reality, it kills me to even write this. MEN!
There are more qualities besides those damn looks of yours to define your worth. Masculinity has nothing to do with the amount of testosterone a dude’s pituitary gland can pump out or how much iron he can squat and bench.
The way a man carries himself says everything about him. If he’s vain and self-centered when it comes to his appearance, well, us women will love to tear him to shreds behind his back. We will even stoop as low to talk down on his obvious lack of endowment.
For us, there is a direct correlation between being larger than life in looks and tiny in the pants.
Not that a lack of care towards one’s overall miens is acceptable—we just want to see there’s more substance and sustenance to a man than how long he spends staring into a mirror. It’s okay to exercise for health. Eat right and play hard. It is okay to put a little effort into the clothes you are going to wear if you want to. Going to the extreme about those things is the real matter at hand. There has to be a balance. That fire behind his eyes over something, anything, other than himself has to be there, too. Well… something that isn’t creepy or pedophile-like, that is. An upstanding member of the community who would give his last breath to save a complete stranger’s life. Now that is a sexy guy.
A man’s character and passion define whether or not he’s a good man or not—it’s not his rock hard build or perfectly sculpted features. Don’t be a douche and misconstrue the line women have drawn between our fantasy and reality. Love yourself as you were made and the rest will follow—take it or leave it.
Photo: JD Hancock/Flickr
Read Kristina Hammer every week here on The Good Men Project!