A Low-Risk Technique for Gaining Intimacy With People

Do you sometimes, in moments of loneliness, find yourself filled with a strong desire to build better connections with people, yet find yourself stopped by fear of the potential dangers that such openness might bring?

Are you looking for a method that allows for the growth of closeness while also protecting you from the risks of rejection or the confusions that might ruin your interactions?

If these questions strike a chord, you’re not alone in wanting meaningful relationships while keeping your emotions safe. A solution may lie in a carefully designed, psychology-based strategy called “Match Plus One.”

“Match Plus One” is based on Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT). It offers a structured plan for gradually increasing intimacy in any relationship, whether personal or professional.

This approach is designed to reduce risks and build trust slowly, allowing everyone to feel comfortable and in control of how their interactions go.

By matching the openness of the person you’re talking to and then slightly increasing it, this method creates a safe space for sharing without overwhelming anyone.

Start with low personal disclosures

To start building intimacy with “Match Plus One,” you begin by sharing safe, surface-level personal details, like opinions on everyday topics or casual observations about daily life.

For example, talking about a recent movie you saw or a local restaurant can be an easy way to begin without too much emotional risk.

This first step has two goals — to establish a way of communicating that feels safe and welcoming, and to let you measure how comfortable and engaged the other person is, without committing yourself.

These low-risk conversations are crucial for building a foundation of trust and setting the stage for more significant discussions later on.

Assess reciprocation

After starting with less personal questions, the next step is to see how the other person responds. This is important because it shows whether they’re ready to share more personally.

If they respond similarly or open up a bit more, it suggests they’re ready to continue the conversation. If they keep things light or show disinterest, it might be wise to keep the conversation at a low level of intimacy.

Observation of the other person’s verbal and non-verbal reactions are helpful. Do they ask more questions, or do they steer the conversation to less personal topics?

Their responses are important for knowing how to proceed, ensuring both of you feel comfortable and that the pace of getting closer feels natural.

Incremental increases

If your initial shares are met with enthusiastic responses, you can consider slowly sharing more personal thoughts, experiences, and feelings, based on the ongoing positive feedback.

Each new disclosure should build on the trust and support shown in response to your previous shares.

This step-by-step approach makes sure that the relationship grows at a pace that respects everyone’s boundaries and comfort levels. By revealing more about yourself gradually, you open up more fully only when it’s clear that the trust and interest are there to support it.

This method helps build strong connections and protects you from the risks of sharing too much too soon.

Takeaway

“Match Plus One” offers a thoughtful and effective way to develop intimacy with less risk. It respects the natural pace at which comfortable and meaningful relationships should grow, promoting gradual and mutual sharing that builds a solid foundation of trust and respect. By using this approach, you handle human relationships with more confidence and safety.

As you continue to use this technique in different relationships, remember that the goal is not to rush intimacy but to cultivate it thoughtfully and respectfully. The journey of building connections is as important as the goal. With “Match Plus One,” you equip yourself with a tool that enhances your interactions and increases your understanding of human dynamics.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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