I used to place sex at number one on my list when it came to my checklist for relationships. If a man didn’t “stroke” me right, well the relationship just wasn’t going to work. I was completely wrong. Sex can be easily taught. You can teach someone how to treat your body. However, it is far more difficult to teach someone how to treat you as a whole.
Focus on how someone takes care of you mentally rather than physically.
I dated a man that was so good at sex that I was blinded by it and ignored his behavior. I then realized the only time I was actually happy was during sex. Outside of that, he was selfish and wasn’t mutual with his feelings. If anything, I did more for him mentally than he did. He claimed me as his girlfriend. Or did he mean his “sex buddy”? It took great strength to leave this situation because I thought “great sex” was hard to find. I’ve come so far from that little sense of knowledge. Great sex won’t keep me.
Take the sex away from the relationship and what do you have left?
Imagine having sex so much that it just gets boring to you. It’s not that the sex isn’t up to your standards. It’s more like what else is there to do? What else is this relationship offering? I often questioned myself a lot about this and was even scared to take away sex from the relationship in fear of finding out that we indeed had nothing between us. Just simply sex. This is a conversation that every relationship should have if you haven’t already. Someone needs to tell you that it is okay to take breaks from sex. It’s not all that relationship should consist of. There’s more you all need to learn about each other anyways.
Sex can’t fix everything.
Maybe for you, sex is a form of solution. Many have coined the term “make-up sex”. You need something to take your anger away or you and your partner just got into a heated argument and this is one of the only ways you can communicate to them. I’ve had make-up sex plenty of times and still went to bed angry. Angry because our bodies were used as excuses to sweep the initial problem under the rug. TALK TO ME. I beg you to communicate and comprehend your problems in a relationship. Sex will always be there but will your partner?
Sex is wayyyyyy better when you both are mentally on the same page.
Your sexual attraction to your partner sky rockets when you both have an understanding and value each other respectfully. Our minds are now synced and our bodies will link and create on-going magic. THIS the best sex you’ll ever have in your life. When you can make love to not just your partner’s bodies but also, their mind.
Relationships are much deeper than just sex.
Sex is more of a mind thing if you truly look at it. The worst sex has come from just not being into that person. As I mentioned before, maybe you all are just not on the same page mentally. Your mental has to be taken care of in a healthy manner. You have to take care of each other as a whole to even lay peacefully with each other. I think society has shifted the idea of what a healthy relationship actually consists of. Although sex may be within that idea, it shouldn’t be number one.
This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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