A Word to Christians About Stress and Fear

Many of us would do well to survey our lives and examine how often per day we seek relief from stress. Whether it be work or relationships, money or schedule, we seem to always either be engaging in stressful activities or trying to get relief from it; there’s just not a lot of middle ground. Stress is such a common word in our society, that we’ve accepted the fact that we’re all stressed out.

In some ways, we’re in a “Who is the most stressed out competition with our friends, family, and coworkers.” We put a high premium on being busy and stressed out and the message we receive is that the one who’s grinding and hustling is the winner, and if you’re not doing that you’re missing out.

In our stress, we either hustle and bustle and try to keep up, figure out what we’re missing and what we should be doing, or succumb to defeat and give up. Whether I externalize my identity and keep chasing and looking outside of myself into the world for the answer to fulfill me or I internalize the problem and just give up, avoiding and making excuses for myself, I have to realize that stress causes stress. Just like cigarettes or any other addictive cycle, it’s the behavior/coping tool that we become addicted to making it stronger the more we give into it.

Stress is largely a word of the medical community and psychology. It’s subtle in deception but its use takes us slightly off track from what’s really going on inside of our human condition which at the core is fear. Psychology and medicine only offer coping tools for stress. In some ways, those fields rely on the normalization of stress in order to stay in business. No, I’m not saying this is part of someone’s grand conspiracy to create a market. Rather, it is just human beings doing their best to deal with their own issues, but falling short.

“I’m So Stressed Out” is another way of saying, “I have an unrealized level of fear that I am living to avoid and it is catching up with me.”

Being “Stressed Out” is a badge of honor for some or a good excuse for others. It draws feigned sympathy from the other stress mongers of our social circles, while it can also repel others who are too stressed to offer any level of empathy. As I said earlier, the word stress is such a common part of our language that we just throw it out there without really understanding its meaning or what is behind it.

But stress is essentially synonymous with fear or at least, closely related because it is the physiological and mental experience that a human being has as a result of living under their own control in an attempt to avoid core fear. When we come to grips with that we can go a little bit deeper into our psyche and understand what’s really driving us. The dirty word of “fear.”

None of us wants to admit we’re afraid and helpless, either because we are unaware of this core drive or we just do not want to deal with what we know is there for fear of what we will face. Nobody really wants to acknowledge what they’re afraid of and quite frankly most people are so caught up in their circumstances that they don’t know they are afraid of something very deep inside of themselves.

Although stress occurs naturally as a part of the human condition it becomes perpetuated by dependence on external factors going right for us coupled with the sense that we need to be in control to see that things carry out favorably for us. This way of thinking supports and justifies our behaviors and puts us on a hamster wheel.

Science only has one answer and that is to make stress a clinical issue. However, this does not suffice for what’s really happening which is that we are living in the grip of fear. It seems to me that if I live in a manner driven by fear then I am forced to live with the need to constantly self-soothe which is no way to live but readily evident in our society.

It takes real self-awareness and insight to acknowledge that in part, what’s normative in lifestyle and behavior is many times not healthy. Society, medicine, and psychology do not have the answer for fear and stress. It’s too primal of an issue, and the societal collective lives to justify escapism and coping because they are biologically bound in their search for solutions.

In the book Denial of Death by Ernest Becker, he references the psychoanalyst, Otto Rank in noting:

“Psychology which is gradually trying to supplant religious and moral ideology is only partially qualified to do this because it is a preponderantly negative and disintegrating ideology. Psychology narrows the cause for personal unhappiness down to the person himself then he is stuck with himself. But we know that the inferiority is the natural world and the person’s relationship to it as a symbolic animal must find a secure place in it. All the analysis in the world doesn’t allow the person to find out who he is and why he is here on earth, why he has to die, and how he can make his life a triumph. It is when psychology pretends to do this; when it offers itself as a full explanation of human unhappiness that it becomes a fraud that makes the situation of modern man an impasse from which he can not escape.”

The Spiritual Side of Things

We can spend our entire lives coping or we can consider the spiritual side of things where there appears to be a solution. In his overwhelming state of stress, David showed us that there is nowhere in our circumstances to find relief. In Psalm 121 he said:

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”

When our world seeks to normalize our dysfunctions, which by the way flows from that old fashion word “sin” and our “sinful nature,” our Bible and thousands of years of testimony from believers tell us, “Do not worry about your life,” not to worry about your needs because “Your Father knows” what you need, so focus on “Seeking the kingdom (Luke 12).”

A.W. Tozer said, “The only thing that can hinder a Christian’s progress is the Christian himself. The true child of God can live and grow in circumstances that are holy unfavorable to such life and growth. Outward circumstances can help a little or none in a Christian spiritual life. The whole philosophy of the spiritual way requires us to believe this (p. 31, We Travel an Appointed Way).

Seeking the Kingdom is seeking the spiritual side of things and our misplaced attention on our circumstances and chasing after our own needs is part of the reason we are in this cycle. But again, I want to emphasize that fear is what we are avoiding in the first place.

The Rational Mind Does Not Capture All Meaning

‭We live in a highly rational society, and what I mean by that is, we rely heavily on our rational faculties. The problem with our rational minds is that for each one of us, it is built on a subconscious platform that is essentially unresolved, unstable, and living in the past with substantial fear of the future. This is why we can’t move forward. We are constantly projecting the past into our present situation. Our perspective is fogged, and our behavior is largely an expression of emotion and unresolved feelings that have no place in our present situation and our rationalization only serves to justify and rationalize. In other words, our highest level of brain function, which distinguishes us from animals, is acting subserviently to the parts that are most like animals.

When we understand that the framework of our rational mind is largely built on the avoidance of terror we can begin to unpack the true source of our problems. When we understand that fear is at the core of it, we suddenly run out of rational solutions. Our internal worlds won’t be deceived into thinking “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” You can’t talk yourself out of that core fear, you can’t rationalize with the limbic system, at least not at that level.

It’s not that this problem is avoidable, in and of itself, but it is recognizable. As we come to terms with this problem and realize that it’s not going anywhere, what are we to do? First, we need to understand that our problem is not rational, but spiritual. When we assume the problem is either in our head or outside of us and focus on rational solutions, we are just deceiving ourselves into thinking we are being productive because we are engaging in some rationally stimulating, problem-solving.

It’s a lot harder to say, “I’m afraid.” It takes faith and courage.

Fear runs deep, but no psychological or clinical intervention has been developed to address it, only to cope with or distract us from it. This primal human need to overcome fear has the potential to draw us closer to God or farther away depending on how we frame it. So what is the answer? Interestingly enough, the answer is Jesus Christ and a personal relationship with the Creator of the universe who has given life, meaning, and purpose. This however is not something many do not want to acknowledge because it forces one to give up the illusion of control that the rational mind perpetuates.

Many people will see that the level of stress they are under is not sustainable and escape will only make it worse later. Becoming vulnerable is a state only achieved by realizing our utter helplessness. Incidentally, most of us do not want to venture down this path because essentially we would have to “lose control” which gives us the sense that we will fall apart or die. When you honestly consider the vulnerable alternative to stressfully managing your life under your own control, you find that you are left with the humble, dare I say humiliating realization, that we need a savior.

The Path Towards Freedom From Fear

When we look beyond stress, which is biologically and circumstantially bound, and see fear at the root and we are pointed toward God. From this paradoxical perspective, stress becomes a beacon of light towards the path of freedom from fear because it points us toward our need for rest. As Jesus says in Matthew, “Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (11:28).”

When I acknowledge God and the spiritual nature of my fear, a solution is offered. Jesus is not offering a stress-free life, but rather a spiritual perspective that puts stress and fear in its place and him in control. We are granted rest in this relationship and our endeavors become faith-driven.

In some way, our normal definition of fear and stress as a natural issue is a deceptive misdirection that the Devil loves for us to believe. However, when we see the spiritual nature of fear we can direct our lives in the path which God lays out for us, which will go through stress but in a meaningful way because the perspective of faith shines a light on what the physical world can not see. Therefore if I am not driven by fear, but by faith, I am able to see what stress is mine to encounter for growth and what stress is actually in my head and needs to be let go of. By using my fear and stress to relate to God, I find him actively working on my behalf. I find myself gaining security in a relationship with him which provides peace. I can actually understand what it means when they say, “Let go and Let God!”

When Jesus says in Matthew chapter 5 and Luke Chapter 12, “Do not worry,” he means it. But this only makes sense in the context of a personal relationship with him through faith. I am not going to rationally be able to fit Jesus into my current way of thinking which leaves me to figure out my problems and swim in my sea of stress, living for the weekend and vegging out during the evenings. Jesus only makes sense if faith is something you might consider necessary and you might consider it necessary when you realize the cyclical trap you are stuck in. Your best thinking got you there and your best thinking going forward will only serve to keep you there. Our lifeline is the grace of God through faith and this is offered to us through Jesus Christ and the work he did on the cross which served to overcome all fears because it overcame the greatest fear, which is death.

Some of us need to stop trying to figure out our problems, quit making excuses, and realize that the way we are thinking and behaving is driving our lack of peace. There is a way of thinking that requires us to acknowledge the part of us that itches for God. Maybe you say to yourself, “I know I should pray,” or “I believe in God but it doesn’t seem to help.” The very fact that you are having those thoughts is evidence of God stirring up faith in you, pointing you in the direction of peace. However, “Faith without works is dead (James 2:26);” it is useless and we must put some concentrated effort into expressing that faith, however little or much we have.

So won’t you take a moment out of your stressful day to seek out the creator of the universe? Acknowledge that his death on the cross already took care of the source of all problems in your life and gives meaning and context to what you are experiencing and then, may you can finally experience “The peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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