My wife of eight years confessed: she was seeing someone, and she was pregnant by another man. The child wasn’t mine. That was just the beginning.
It was 2009, and my marriage had become ashes, scorched by betrayal and more. The ideal marriage and family life I dreamt of was gone.
My wife of eight years had confessed; she was seeing someone, and she was pregnant by another man, and the child wasn’t mine.
For months, I struggled to wrap my head around this new reality. The turmoil led to an alcoholic addiction that numbed me for half a year.
Then something happened I’d never imagine; the drinking landed me in jail for four days. I’d serve six months for driving while intoxicated and driving recklessly and injuring another driver. Nothing I’m proud of, and grateful no one was severely injured.
The years after were filled with numerous court dates, court costs, and a child paternity test. The paternity test would confirm it wasn’t my child, and we’d move forward with the divorce.
In the middle of the chaos, something unexpected happened. I started believing and expecting good things to happen, and they did. I was committed to completely discovering my purpose. Because I’d been through the worst of times, and now it was time for the opposite to happen.
Outwardly, I was happier; inwardly I’d been strengthened to take on any and all fears. Caring what others thought and what others expected, wasn’t me anymore. The worst of times made me focus inwardly and trust my gut. Instead of looking for the old paths, I saw new trails to blaze. What unlocked this change to happen was accepting, welcoming, and being honest with the new reality of possibilities.
The Uncomfortable Zone
Yes, I admit, leaving the comfortable for the unknown is scary, but that’s cool. Everyone talks about leaving your comfort zone, I get that, but nobody talks about practicing this habit. Taking baby steps and creating small uncomfortable new habits is where it’s at. Forcing myself to be okay with new experiences by creating daily rituals is the best way to start. Example: Small talk with a stranger, sharing my story and joining Toastmasters.
The Higher the Climb, the Clearer the View
I wish I could say it’ll be easy, but in the beginning it won’t. Discovering who you are during the climb, is where purpose meets clarity. A lot of times I wanted to throw the towel in and give up. Let me say that all it means is that we’re progressing. When we’ve had moments of clarity along the climb, that vision makes everything easier.
I remember sitting at rock bottom, and thinking is this what my life has come too. Then a moment of clarity peeked through; I saw I didn’t want what everyone else wanted. I wanted to do, what I was meant to do and if that meant learning new skills and being uncomfortable on stage, then so be it.
This purpose driven journey has led to the best experiences of my life. I’ve found real love; I’m living the dream as a writer, life coach, and speaker. And the magic moments are only getting better.
If you’re on the purpose discovery path? I commend you and keep going, it gets better. For those that haven’t started, yet. Something to keep in mind, try and stay intentional with the actions. Because, when the intention is clear, the method will appear.
Photo: Flickr/ Michael takes photos