We tend not to deviate from the norm, which means not having partners with a wide age gap from our own. However, some seem to make it work while others fall back and start over. Going through life while searching for the perfect relationship can be tough. More so, when there seems to be a small wedge from the start. That’s when we get to consider new perspectives and find new meaning within ourselves and others.
Statistics back up the basis for not getting into a relationship with a significant age gap difference, but as of now let’s be somewhat neutral and a wee bit personal. And really, we’re not here to look at the formula on how to realize the socially acceptable age for a relationship, which is your age divided by two plus seven…not really. C’mon who has time for that?
Age does matter, no matter what other people think; they tend to assume just because you’re happy, it also means you’re contented. Just because there’s chemistry means it’s what we’ve been looking for. There are different layers that people in love tend not to see and happiness is just one of them. You can’t build a relationship on happiness alone. It needs a lot of work to keep it together, and there is no couple out there who doesn’t have some sort of a problem, which eventually gets settled. Those who say they don’t have to re-evaluate themselves and their bond don’t understand that’s what a working relationship looks like …it’s a messy joyous coupling.
People come to the conclusion that just because they are a few years apart, those years should be considered an age difference. Age won’t matter if the gap isn’t as wide as you think; there is a difference between talking about what movies are considered the best in the last few years and what it was like to live in a world where the best thing that existed was dial-up internet. Not to mention political viewpoints, future plans, relatable friends, music and all the things in-between that round up a relationship. The day-to-day events couples experience together can make a huge difference. The tendency is that one of the partners will be unhappy if there is too great a gulf.
Some blooming adolescents have mature thinking patterns while some adults have a tender way of thinking and that’s alright, for now. It doesn’t have to be a “meeting of the minds” all the time. People tend to fall just because. Doesn’t everybody long for a stable and long-lasting relationship? When some people fall into love, they really do fall into love. In a perfect world, that’s enough to last and such an attitude usually falls under the “I don’t care what other people think” category. Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with that. I will personally salute you for that. But like I said, your emotions aren’t the only factor in a relationship. If you can find the same passion, likes, and dislikes, then by all means, go ahead, but that raging attraction alone is not enough to sustain a committed lifestyle in long-coming years. Even the best of us fall out of love for menial things, like if one or the other is looking ahead to the future, while their partner is still stuck in the present.
Love is boundless and ageless, but understanding the underlying reason why it exists between two people doesn’t hurt. It’s often said that when people date older people they tend to be looking for a parental figure; they can also be insecure about themselves and look for that safety net in someone older. On the flip side, a person looking for someone younger who doesn’t seem to find anyone their own age, will be searching for that characteristic for a definite reason. Underlying issues need to be brought out in the open for relationships to work. The two key factors are trust and communication and those won’t be enough if the personal distress each can cause aren’t dealt with individually.
Before running off with that person you saw in the bar or that person you saw screaming out Bingo! Know what kind of relationship you want and try to comprehend if this is the person for the job. You wouldn’t want to waste each other’s time and energy, which could be best put to use somewhere else, or with someone else.
The brain and the heart will always be difficult to understand, but when they do work together, it can be a magical thing.
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