Am I Inviting an Affair into My Marriage?

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We all leave an impression on others about whom we are as individuals and who we are as a married couple. Are you inviting an affair into your marriage by the way you represent your marriage to others?

I am going to describe three kinds of marriages that are on the verge of trouble. These types of marriages could open doors for an affair.

The “I am not happy with my spouse” marriage

This couple almost always puts each other down privately and sometimes even publicly.

This couple almost always puts each other down privately and sometimes even publicly. They constantly compare their spouse to others and never seem to appreciate anything their spouse does for them. If you want to avoid temptations, then make it your goal to “talk them up” rather them “talk them down.” When you are in mixed company, be sure to value your spouse and speak well of them even if you do not feel happy with them at the moment. You can save yourself and your spouse embarrassment and potential troubles by always speaking well of each other.

The “I do not need a spouse” marriage

Success will mean nothing in the end if the price is your marriage.

They almost always are alone or apart from each other. They live separate lives and often have great careers. They are usually very proud of their careers and spend hours on their individual careers and rising to the top. This couple usually has financial success and love to show others what they have accomplished. This couple can display more of a roommate agreement than a marriage. If this is your marriage clearly you need to carve out more time together. Make time to enjoy your marriage as much as you enjoy your career. Do not leave your spouse alone or feeling lonely. This could set them up to fail you. Do not let someone else come alongside them and share in their success. Success will mean nothing in the end if the price is your marriage.

The “I settled” marriage

By making a few simple adjustments your marriage will be better than you could imagine.

This couple usually has one high achiever and one who isn’t so much an achiever. Usually, this couple has a hint of sympathy swirling around the one who seems to be the lesser of the two. Sometimes one of the spouses in this couple is a big flirt. If you are this couple then equal the playing field. Help your spouse find their own success so they feel accomplished as well. Every person has a unique gift and talent some just take longer to find it. If you are the flirt then turn that passion to your spouse and not to someone else. Attention from your spouse is guilt-free and will help your marriage thrive. By making a few simple adjustments your marriage will be better than you could imagine.

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These examples may help us see something in our marriages we had not noticed before. We need to be aware how we represent our marriage so that we do not fall into the trap of an affair. Marriage is hard and sometimes we put it last on our list of things to work on. We think we will find time to work on it when life is not so busy. The truth is the marriage may not last that long if you are not constantly working to improve it.

Learn to appreciate your spouse now. Discover the places in your life where only your spouse can fulfill your needs. Spend some time finding value in your spouse, and remember their value is unique and may not look just like the value you bring to the marriage. Affair-proofing your marriage is really easy when you make small intentional changes. Marriage is one place where small investments deliver big rewards.