American Man vs. American Woman: The Big Misunderstanding

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”― George Bernard Shaw

I recently wrote an article that made waves. It’s an article that most readers sadly misunderstood to a critical extent.

If you haven’t read it yet, please go misunderstand it too, so I can start clarifying it here.

What did I want with this article?

To expose readers to a situation that I myself was exposed to while working as a trainer at a cam studio.

With women’s empowerment and the development of technology, more and more American men are looking for women abroad, because they see these women as more willing to accept them the way they are.

What readers understood:

That I’m bashing American women for being too emancipated and saying European women are better.

As an Eastern European woman myself, I can tell you I’m just as emancipated as American women, and I have 4 American girlfriends who I consider my soul sisters. I would never consider them inferior to any nation.

That I’m bashing Eastern Europeans and imagining them all meek, poor and uneducated.

Living in the area, I know exactly how meek, poor and uneducated they are. Not even a little! But they do have a reputation for being so, therefore they can become a target for men looking for submissive women. It’s an illusion, not a national characteristic.

That I’m promoting mail-order brides.

Observing and discussing a situation neutrally doesn’t mean promotion or encouragement.

That I’m supporting American men looking for relationships in other countries.

I stated in previous articles and I will say it again. Men who want but can’t get a relationship are lacking soft skills, not slaves. I didn’t suddenly change my mind.

That I’m bashing American men looking for relationships in other countries.

Although I don’t think it’s a good idea, I also think for some women who come from a poor or abusive family, these men might be their best chance at a decent life. If things go bad, divorce is always an option. The world is not as black and white as we’d like it to be.

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Of course, the majority of American men are not like that. But some are.

And of course, the majority of Eastern European women are not like that. But some are. And it’s these 2 sides that come together, date, and marry.

…

The sad part, however, was in the comments.

Now don’t imagine I’m some delicate little flower that has never seen how wild the internet can get. But this level of accusing everybody else of everything under the sun is just crazy.

Men screaming hard and loud that women are bitter and entitled.

Women screaming hard and loud that they’ve had it with men’s abuse and misogyny.

And guess what — nobody’s happy.

People, nobody is forcing you to be together.

The only reason you are still even discussing it and calling each other out is that you want it. You want the other. You just don’t want them the way they are now.

Like old high school friends who chose different lives, grew differently, and are unrecognizable to each other at the 20-year reunion, men and women evolved differently and they no longer match.

Women are coming after years and years of abuse and frustration and they’re saying they had enough.

And men are not willing to accept any less than they used to have in their position of power.

It’s difficult to lose power. And men are not going to just let it go.

Women will not have the men they’re looking for today. It will take generations for that to happen.

And it’s not because men are jerks. Men are not jerks, they are the natural product of their environment.

It will fall to each of us to educate and change future generations if we want better men and better women.

Change is already happening, and as proof, you have strong forces opposing it, like overturning abortion laws, or all this manosphere bs.

Yes, some men are already there and if any of you ladies are with them, count yourselves lucky.

But expecting them to all turn into the men of the future right this instant is just not feasible.

On the contrary, it’s way more feasible for them to join an Andrew Tate kind of cult. That’s easier. And it’s what they already want to do. And what they understand.

What you’re asking of them — basically to give up their perceived power for the promise of better relationships and a better world is not something most of them are interested in.

As for the men frustrated by women being bitter, I get you. Nobody likes bitter. And you’re not wrong: women are all shades of bitter.

And that’s not going to change as long as they feel they’re not valued and cherished as equals.

You may think you can solve this by bringing in women from various other cultures and it might even work for a decade or 2. But it will not work in the long run.

You might find sporadic exceptions, but without a doubt, the world is changing.

Yes, the psychology behind remains the same, but societal structures evolve and those who don’t adapt will perish.

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What can be done right now?

Educate yourselves and educate others. Keep in mind that what you do today doesn’t just affect your life, but also the life of all future generations, especially your own children.

Is it just about you or are you keeping them in mind?

Make your decision and go for it. If you want a woman, find the one that is right for you or be the man a woman wants. The same goes for women.

Screaming about how the world is unfair will get us nowhere. Doing something about it will get us everywhere. Well…almost.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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