Many people thrive on routines and schedules. It helps to know what you’re doing each day because you feel at ease. You don’t have to wonder what’s happening at any given time during the day. Planning takes some effort, but once you do it, you’re set for the week. Some people plan things months in advance. If you’re a planner, that’s a positive thing. You’re probably quite organized, have a google calendar or a paper one, or both. However, there’s a difference between being organized and engaging in obsessive behavior. Here’s how your Type-A personality can help and hurt you.
How organization helps you
When you don’t know what to expect on a given day, that can cause you anxiety. Planning takes the worry and anxious thoughts down a notch. For example, on Tuesday, you know you’ve got work from 9 am – 3 pm. You’re leaving your job early that day because you have a doctor’s appointment at 4 pm. If you’re an organized person, these tasks are written down in a digital or physical calendar, so you know what to expect. That’s one of the positive sides of being organized, so what’s the issue with having things planned?
Obsessing over your plans
Sometimes, people who plan things can become obsessive about their plans. Even though they have detailed out everything that needs to be done, they cannot seem to let go. They agonize over every little detail of the plan. They want things to go smoothly. And they are afraid that if one thing goes wrong, then the whole plan will be ruined. The reality is that you can plan for something, but you can’t control how it will come out. When these events involve other people, a Type-A person might obsessively check-in to ensure that the other individuals are on board with the plans. They could come across as micro-managing a situation. One reason that may happen is that people who have this Type-A personality are worriers. They can have repetitive thoughts and behaviors connected with the plans that irritate those around them. One of the things they obsess about is what could potentially go wrong.
Controlling what could go wrong
Unfortunately, there are many things in life we don’t have control over. You could have what you think is a perfect plan, and something goes awry. Let’s say you’ve made a plan to meet a friend for lunch. You only have an hour, because after that you need to get back to work. Your friend is running late. They can’t get there until 12:30, which is halfway through your lunch hour. You’re stressed out because you can’t control the situation. While you’re waiting, you have repetitive thoughts about when they’re going to arrive, what you’ll say or do, and how you need to handle the situation. Even when you’re not planning for the day, you’re still obsessing if something goes wrong. You think to yourself about how you have to be the bearer of bad news when they arrive. You’re angry because you had it all planned out. And this friend is constantly late for things. You find that inconsiderate, but unfortunately, you can’t control other people’s behavior. You cannot predict what someone will do. However, you can draw boundaries. Now you know that this friend will be late When you make plans with them, so it’s essential to do things that are not time-sensitive. You can let them know that you are disappointed that they are late. And they could change their behavior in the future. But, it’s important to manage your expectations that you don’t get let down in the future.
Worrying doesn’t solve anything
Sometimes when we worry about things, it’s because we think that by obsessing about them, we can control them. In reality, worrying doesn’t do anything but stress you out. Your repetitive thoughts can make you more anxious than you already are. It’s great to be a planner and an organized person, but it’s important to have a balance between being organized and worrying about things. You can read more about repetitive thoughts and behaviors on Mind Diagnostics. If you’re worried about obsessive thinking, you can always contact a therapist. You can see mental health professionals online or in your local area. You can learn to manage your repetitive thoughts and behaviors. Therapists can help you understand the source of these ideas and how to develop coping mechanisms. You can’t change your personality, and there are people that appreciate how organized you are. But you can learn to cope with control issues. One way to do this is by finding a mental health professional who can help you develop strategies to cope with your emotions. It’s challenging to let go when you want to control things, but you can do it once you learn how in therapy.
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