If you’ve been following me for the last year or so, then you know I’ve been dipping my toe back into the dating pool. Truthfully, I’ve had a relationship project going for the past two-plus years, but who’s counting?
By the way, if you haven’t been following me here on the Good Men Project for the past year, why the hell not? I have probably close to 150 articles by this point. And at least 130 of them are gold!
Back to the whole dating story. I notice something come up regularly in certain online dating profiles I read. Or at least on the dating sites I belong to. To say nothing of the actual women I’ve met and gone out with.
So many of the profiles I’m drawn to are usually asking for a “conscious man.” These are women looking for conscious men.
I guess the first question is What is a conscious man?
The sarcastic side of me wants to say “duh! Any man who is awake and out of bed!” But I don’t think that’s what these women are looking for.
Now, this might not be a Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus definition. But this is my definition of what a conscious man is.
He is a truth seeker…
- He looks inside his soul to uncover the truth about who he’s being in the world.
He’s a lover…
- He loves the people in his life. He treats everybody in his life – with himself at the top of the list – with the utmost respect and integrity. He loves everybody. He might not like everybody, but he loves them.
He is both a king and a prince…
- And I believe that a conscious man has a balance between his childlike sense of wonder, and a mature, grounded outlook on life. In other words, a balance between prince and king.
Long story short, I believe a conscious man is the embodiment of the divine masculine.
What the hell is the divine masculine? Man, I could write an entire book on that! #spoiler?
I see myself as a conscious man. I see myself as one of those men most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I still revert back to being a little boy from time to time, but mostly I’m a conscious man.
Long story short, it’s a process. For all of us, it’s a process.
This is why I share this article today. I want to share seven easy ways that everyday men can become more conscious.
A quick disclaimer, I had a mild anxiety attack when I chose to write this. “What the hell do I – a mere life coach who has been single since Barack Obama had dark hair – know about what women are looking for in a conscious man?” The mind is a mystery like that. My soul wanted to write this piece, but my mind sure as hell didn’t.
Ego vs. Soul – the battle will never end.
Without further ado, here are seven simple ways that you can become that conscious man.
1.A conscious man accepts his humanity
Being accepting of our humanity means that we accept the good, the bad, the beautiful, and ugly in our being. Do we have a few extra pounds? Is our hairline retreating like a general whose army is cornered? Do you use substances to numb your emotion?
I’ve had it that if a man has a good looking and charismatic exterior, that he doesn’t have any problems in this department.
Case in point, WWE superstar Roman Reigns announced on TV that he’s had a relapse of leukemia. He first had the disease 11 years ago, but it’s back. Here’s a man with an impressive physique, long flowing hair, and charisma. He’s a beautiful man yet he stood in that ring accepting of himself, he used his real name of Joe, and spoke from the heart. And it elicited real emotion from this often-jaded wrestling fan.
2.A conscious man respects himself and his tribe
I’m speaking directly to the #metoo movement here and what started that movement. Men in power disrespecting their tribes and themselves as a power trip. Men that include Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and Bill Cosby have been taken down by this. When more men respect themselves and their tribes, consciousness can grow.
3.A conscious man knows how to play
It’s like I said earlier, he’s in touch with both his inner child and his grown-ass man. He knows how to play. He knows how to have fun. And he knows how to use that fun and play to grow.
4.A conscious man creates his own value out of life
By this I mean he doesn’t need anyone’s approval to be exactly who he is. He knows his worth and he owns his worth.
5.A conscious man is a man of integrity
Be a man of your word so deeply that when you speak, it might as well be engraved in bronze. Your word is who you are. And if there is no integrity in the world, the world doesn’t work. Be a king and be a man of your word.
6.A conscious man knows and accepts that he’s a work in progress
The only finish line is the grave. Never stop evolving. Never stop learning. Never stop growing.
I want to add a disclaimer to my final point.
I feel like this word gets a bad rap from time to time. And I want to dispel this.
What is masculinity to you?
Just because you have a Y chromosome does not make you masculine. Just because you have a penis doesn’t make you masculine.
Masculine energy is grounded, mature, and gentle. It is not violent. It is heart-centered.
The final step one can take to become a more conscious man is:
7.A conscious man embraces his gentle masculine energy
What makes for a good father? What makes for a good husband? What makes for a good boyfriend? That answer can vary, but it all involves tapping into your heart and embracing your truth as a man.
Notice that I didn’t say that to become a conscious man you must go off to Dagobah and study under a Jedi Master. You don’t have to grow your hair long and dress like the comedian JP Sears (who is a caricature of this by the way.)
You can be whoever the hell you want to me.
Stay tuned to this space. I’ve got a new offering that will start in November that can support you in embracing your own divine masculine energy.
Royalheartscoaching.com – go ahead and bookmark it…