Are You in Love or Just in Lust ?

Lust or Love?

Love, affection, and romantic connections are often celebrated all around us—at least, that’s what we like to believe. As Valentine’s Day approaches, it’s important to take a moment to reflect: Am I truly in love, or are we simply talking about lust?

Well, with the Tinder-swiping and hook-ups in this age, love gets lost in the validation of social media it is not exactly easy to bring together the lust and the love. So what is the reality? Are we celebrating love on Valentine’s Day today or succumbing to this heady cocktail of lust on Valentine’s?

The Fine Line Between Lust And Love

Lust and love, at face value, seem like two sides of the same coin. Such extreme emotions they raise, being alive, wanted, and desirable. But look deeper, and there are no two emotions that stand as far apart in nature from one another as these two are.

Lust is a very intense feeling, extremely powerful, and most of the time is associated with physical attraction. It can arise at any given point, and one might be totally overcome by it; it is a chemistry, a flutter in your chest, an urge for physical closeness. Usually, it is based on desire; usually, it is part of love relationships but will never have anywhere near the same depth or emotional connection that love does.

It is not a one-night stand. It does need trust, respect, and a heart connection. And for that, little vulnerability, commitment, and a true desire for growth and knowledge of the other are called into play. Slow burn over time to be changed in connection-connection, and not skin deep.

Why Lust Often Gets the Headline

Lust is sexy, yes. Sexy and sensual, well placed in the romance movies, ads, and our Facebook feeds. Instant gratification orients the world toward any indulgence, such that lust is a foolish pursuit, an almost impossible idolization of infatuation. It does not require nearly the vulnerability or emotional labour of love, nor does it appear to be all that difficult; in fact, it seems sort of a connection shortcut.

The Valentine’s Day date is the most diverse variety of dates, post-romantic dinners, and sexy photos, but the richness of expression in all this is nothing compared to the same: lust chasing a validation moment or an instantaneous link. It’s felt in the moment yet hollow in the chest.

Duration of Love Vs Adultery of Lust

So what’s the difference? Love is meant to last. It’s just being able to look at another human being and just accept him for who he is, with all his weaknesses. It is putting up with the time and emotional energy to nurture the relationship so that it becomes a healthy growing entity.

Lust is a very ephemeral concept that is mostly the chase, chemistry, and a rush. It is when this spark disappears and the connection falters and we need a fix.

Because of this, after one night of passion or a few weeks of infatuation, we find ourselves thinking about this: Was that really Love?

On Valentine’s Day: What Are You Celebrating?

Now, knocking at our doorsteps is Valentine’s Day and, therefore, it’s the right time for us to ask what we are exactly celebrating if the thing we’re supposed to celebrate, an emotion, is, in fact, valid throughout our lifetime or is simply a joy ride on this fleeting high?

It is a fact that there is no right or wrong, but what makes the difference can guide us in handling relations more thoughtfully. Lust is exciting, but it is love that forms the actual long-lasting bond. Lust is bound to wear off with time, but if the conditions are right, then love deepens with time.

In the heat of Valentine’s, do never forget to give yourself the right to get caught up with your brain and heart in that new romance but not mistaken for love. Love is always a challenge and hard work and understanding and patience and that is what should be celebrated on Valentine’s Day and every day.

The Path to Deeper Connection

Whether you’re seriously dating or just getting your feet wet in the dating pool, probably the most likely to connect you with another human is understanding the difference between lust and love. Lust is certainly the exciting part of the equation, but it’s love that’s going to give you depth and fulfilment in the life that you are searching for.

Am I looking for that thrill of desire, or am I making an investment that is going to stand the test of time? And maybe on Valentine’s Day, this very question transforms the attitude one goes about relating into it not only for today but tomorrow too.

Love is Not Instant, But It’s Worth the wait

Love is slow and incremental-and, finally, it’s only that which can be attempted. Let us redefine Valentine’s Day from the thrilling to connective. What happens in this moment of passion is not, but a steady deep connection has created with the passage of time.

So whether it is one of those nights, just a blissful evening with your sweetheart, or just one of those ‘solitary’ days; remember: True love won’t just drop into your life overnight. But it’ll be worth the wait.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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