Currently, a narrow and restricted definition of ‘what it means to be a man’ is presented and reinforced to men and boys by society. This is having a direct and harmful impact on men’s mental health and risk of suicide.
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The arrival of Men’s Health Week brings with it an opportunity to think and reflect on any number of issues related to men and their health. I’d like to use the opportunity to talk about a key issue that has a profound effect on both the physical and mental health of men, one that isn’t talked about enough. That is the issue of masculinity.
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Throughout their lives, society teaches our boys that they need to act tough, show strength and, effectively, be invincible.
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We know that men tend to compare themselves against a masculine ideal which values power, strength, control and invincibility. This is something that is played out across multiple touch points in a man’s life, from being told at an early age to ‘man up and don’t cry’ in the playground, to the tough guy heroes portrayed in TV and films, to telling your mates in a joking way to “harden the f**k up”. Throughout their lives, society teaches our boys that they need to act tough, show strength and, effectively, be invincible.
Unfortunately, the popular notion of what it is to be a man today can have a devastating effect on an individual’s mental health and well-being. As a society, we’ve attached ourselves to an unhealthy image of what is a “real man”, grounded in outdated perceptions created in the 1940s through to the 1970s.
The world has significantly changed and so must our definition of what it is to be a man. The issue of how we define masculinity is not a gender specific problem; it has implications for both men and women. In order to address this issue in a meaningful way, everyone needs to play a role.
When men believe they are not meeting the standards set for them by society, they can feel a sense of shame and defeat. We know that men are often more reluctant than women to talk about their feelings and less likely to acknowledge the impact of significant life events, such as relationship breakdowns, loss of a job, financial difficulties, or becoming a father on their mental health.
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Too many men are suffering mental illness in silence, unable to ask for help for fear it would make them less of a man.
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One of the reasons for this is because of the masculine ideal, which is that men should be in control, and never depressed, anxious or unable to cope. The very experience of being distressed or having a mental health problem can be psychologically difficult for men to accept because, according to our societal precepts, they are not supposed to be vulnerable in this way. As a result, too many men are suffering mental illness in silence, unable to ask for help for fear it would make them less of a man. In these situations, suicide can become a valid, possibly rational option for men when coping alone and keeping control of a situation no seems longer possible. That’s when suicide can become the ultimate way of exerting control over the situation.
We have a crisis on our hands that no one is talking about. Suicide is a leading killer of men between 20 to 50 years old; in some countries eclipsing road accidents, cancer and coronary heart disease. More service men have taken their lives by suicide than were killed on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan. One man dies by suicide every minute around the world.
Faced with this, it’s easy to make the argument as to why it’s so important that we start having the conversation about redefining masculinity. The hard part is engaging society in these conversations in a meaningful way and getting individuals to look more closely at the beliefs ingrained in them. Like many things in life, it may not be until you’re challenged that you realize that you are in some way, albeit inadvertently, contributing to the issue, by holding on to an out-dated view of masculinity.
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We need to build a society where men and boys don’t feel as though they have failed for not living up to the old school masculine ideal.
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We need to redefine what it means to be a modern man. We need to build a society where men and boys don’t feel as though they have failed for not living up to the old school masculine ideal. This means encouraging emotional intelligence in future generations. It means that as men, we need to invest time in building strong support networks with our mates and when those moments in life challenge and test us, instead of internalizing things, we talk about it.
It’s not going to be easy and it’s going to take time. It will require all of us to challenge and change what we think, what we contribute and the way we teach boys about masculinity. But the benefits that will come from this shift in attitude will be life-changing and lead to men who are emotionally aware and take action when it comes to their physical and mental health. These positive outcomes will in turn impact the lives of our daughters, sisters, girlfriends, wives, mothers.
As part of our new men’s health strategy, I’m proud to say that we’ve made a commitment to focus on challenging the negative aspects of masculinity and the impact this can have on mental health and suicide.
Let’s begin the conversation. What are your thoughts on masculinity and the impact it’s having?.
About the Movember Foundation:
Movember Foundation CEO and Co-founder, Adam Garone, has helped create a global men’s health movement that is responsible for hundreds of thousands of men worldwide growing moustaches each Movember to help change the face of men’s health. Since 2003, the Movember Foundation has raised funds for 800 programs globally, which focus on addressing key men’s health issues – prostate cancer, testicular cancer, poor mental health, and physical inactivity.
Professor Steve Robertson from Leeds Beckett University has worked with the Movember Foundation to help shape our men’s health strategies; reflected in this opinion piece.
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Hi people, haven’t talked in a while.
Lol. Hi back Tom
The notion of masculinity and the relationship to suicide is an interesting one and the article raises a number of pertinent points. I would like to add some thought to the discussion by firstly making reference to the data published by the ONS in the UK. Rates of suicide per 100 000 have risen steadily since 2007 for males, however in 2014 the rates were still lower (19.0) than they were in 1981 (20.8) and had trended downward from 1988 (22.8) until 2007 (16.6). Equally, the increase in male suicide rates has occurred during a period of increased dialogue about… Read more »
Why do women attempt suicide more than men, but kill themselves less often? Could this be another cry for help and not a “whole hearted” attempt at taking their lives? Could men be more efficient at it because they can’t and aren’t attempting to get help, but conceding that they failed and looking to end it?
Having been there myself, I certainly wanted to end it but made the decision to walk away instead. There was no “cry for help” from me, I was far from anywhere, far from anyone and my body may not have been found for days had I chosen to jump.
Half the problem is that nearly every time a man talks about his difficulties, or the difficulties of being a man, invariably there will be a woman to shout him down about how much harder she has it purely because she is a woman (or to remind him that being a man means he has it easier). It’s almost as though it is difficult for some women to accept that men have difficulties. Possibly this is because it goes against patriarchal theory that all men have privilege. If you have privilege,
It’s this backward thinking that also contributes massively.
chopped off the end of my last sentence there. It was meant to say “If you have privilege, you can’t have disadvantage and therefore can’t understand or experience difficulty”.
Some men turn to alcohol to numb their pain and problems. Instead of getting help from a counselor they turn to other ways of dealing with their inner struggles. They need acceptance instead of judgement.
“It means that as men, we need to invest time in building strong support networks with our mates and when those moments in life challenge and test us, instead of internalizing things, we talk about it.” I always wonder about this. Men don’t talk about their troubles so the solution is for men to talk about their troubles. Women don’t eat properly the solution is not for women to eat properly, but for magazines to use more normal looking models. The solution for the “man up” problem facing men is not for men to “man up”. I think society needs… Read more »
If we can get women to stop saying they want a “real man” it will be a far different world, and I daresay a better one too.
If we can get men to open up about their problems, it will be a different world, indeed.