Are Your Inner Convictions Leading or Misleading You?

Once upon a time, there was a sweet grandma and grandpa who decided to pay a visit to their beloved grandchildren. Throughout their stay, the grandpa, being a classic grandpa, couldn’t resist a daily nap on the sofa. One day, the mischievous grandchildren thought it would be funny to play a little prank on him while he was dozing off — they carefully placed some pungent blue cheese in his mustache.

Shortly after waking up, the grandpa sniffed the air and exclaimed, “Goodness, this room reeks!” He got up, strolled into the kitchen, and, to his surprise, declared, “This kitchen stinks too!” Seeking refuge outside for some fresh air, he was met with disappointment as he proclaimed, “The whole world stinks!”

In a similar fashion, the attitudes and beliefs we carry shape our perception of the world. Just like that stinky cheese lingering in the mustache, our reasons for thinking the world stinks can often be tied to the beliefs we hold about life’s meaning, our purpose, and the way we should live.

Every person operates based on a set of core convictions and attitudes about reality, truth, and meaning — forming what we call a worldview. These beliefs are like hidden treasures right under our noses, influencing our outlook on life and our understanding of the world. We may not always be aware of their origins, but they play a significant role in shaping our perspectives.

The prevailing worldview of our day

Have you ever wondered why you believe the things you believe? Have you ever considered the principles that guide your life? If you’re like me, then probably not that much. However, recently, I came across a study by David Kinnaman that really got me thinking.

David Kinnaman is the preeminent Christian researcher globally, and his research on faith and culture is fascinating. Kinnaman surveyed over 1,000 young adults in the USA to find out what they believe about life and the world — their guiding principles. From this survey, he came up with a list of six statements that he believes reflect the new moral code of the West, at least among Millennials.

One of the most significant findings from this study was that 91% of American Millennials believe the best way to find yourself is by looking inside yourself. Or — to put it another way — the answers are inside of you.

Google it, and you’ll discover countless websites offering step-by-step guides on uncovering the answers within yourself. But try looking for content that challenges this notion, and you won’t find anywhere near as much. It’s like everyone’s on board with the “answers within” train.

You might believe that looking inside yourself is an excellent place to look for answers, but, as for me, I’m not convinced. As an early millennial myself, I resolved to critique this idea. Having wrestled with it for some time, I have decided that I won’t be looking inside myself for answers, nor trying to find myself by looking within. I realize that I am in the minority here, and that means you might hate this article, but hear me out. There are some really good reasons that looking inside for the answers is a bad idea.

Here are five that I’ve come up with:

1. I don’t trust that I will tell myself to do what is best

The reality is, when I go to myself with a question, I tend to tell myself what I want to hear. For example, I might ask myself what I should do in a particular situation. Normally, when I refer to myself, I will tend to do the thing that I want to do anyway, and it’s usually the thing that benefits me the most, rather than what might be in the best interests of other people, for example. And then, once I’ve told myself what I want to hear, I back myself up all the way and justify my actions based on that. And so, because I tell myself what I want to hear, I am not a good person to go to for the answers to life’s questions.

I don’t think I am unique in this way. The reality is that sometimes I need an objective opinion that comes from outside of me, or else I risk just doing whatever the hell I want all the time.

2. I don’t trust that I will tell myself to do what is good

The second reason I won’t be looking inside myself for the answers is that I don’t trust that I will tell myself to do what is good — at least not every time. When I’m really honest with myself, and I take a look inside — when I look at what is really in my heart — it’s not always good. I hear people say, “Follow the desires of your heart!” but, when I think about it, I know that is a bad idea because many (not all) of the desires of my heart are actually really bad, really selfish, and would potentially hurt other people. I am sure that my heart is not the only heart with a dark shadow side to it.

Thus, the second reason why I won’t be looking inside myself for the answers is that I do not trust that those answers will always be good.

3. I don’t trust that I will always tell myself the truth

The third reason I won’t be looking inside myself for the answers is that I simply do not trust that I will always tell myself the truth. If the idea that “The answers can be found within yourself” is accurate for everyone, what happens when two people get two different answers to the same question. Can both be true?

Have you ever had someone say to you, “Well, that’s true for you, but for me, this other thing is true?” How can two diametrically opposed things both be true? In reality, the only way a truth can be the truth is if it is true for everyone. And the only way that can be true is if the truth is given to us from somewhere other than ourselves. Truth doesn’t come from within. It might live there, you might find it there, but it didn’t come from there.

So, for this reason, I can’t go to myself for the answers because I don’t trust that what I tell myself is always true and not just something I’ve constructed for myself. In reality, the truth should sometimes disagree with your opinion. “The truth hurts” is more than just a simple idiom. Sometimes, when we are casually strolling down the wrong path in life, believing that we are on the right path in life, we need some truth delivered to us from an outside source.

4. I don’t trust myself to follow through on the answers anyway

There is a fourth reason why I won’t be looking inside myself for the answers. Even when I think I’ve found some answers within, sadly, it doesn’t necessarily change anything. For example, I may realize what I need to do in a particular situation, but actually doing it — that’s another thing altogether. And so, even if I do find some answers, answers don’t always lead to change. In fact, answers seem to lead to more questions. And the one question I can’t seem to answer is why can’t I seem to put the answers into practice. Even if I find all the answers within, I’m still going to need some external help. I need to be held accountable, but if I am only accountable to myself, then I tend to let myself off the hook too easily.

5. I have no right to disagree with anyone

Finally, if the answers are inside you and me, then we have no right to tell anyone else they are wrong. When you follow relativism to its logical end, it removes the right of anyone to disagree with anyone about anything. Who am I to tell you the answer that you found inside yourself is wrong?

So it stands to reason that if the truth doesn’t come to us from somewhere external, then the only measuring stick we have to judge right from wrong is whatever we feel inside.

So Where Do We Find Answers?

So, there you have it. That’s why I’m looking elsewhere for my answers. As for where those answers can be found, that is your existential quest. I would only recommend that you don’t use yourself as your central point of reference.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe in gravity. You may have decided in your mind that gravity is not true. However, when you put your truth to the test and jump out of a plane at thirty thousand feet, the answer you found inside of you will be shown for what it is.

You are entitled to believe whatever you want about the nature of the universe, and I’m certainly not here to tell you what to believe. However, some truths exist outside of you, whether you like it or not. Sorry — the answers are not inside you — at least not all of them!

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer

What We Talk About When We Talk About Men

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