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Attack of Zombie Baby
James Kline, Apex, NC
From Dads Behaving DADLY: 67 Truths, Tears, and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood Copyright © 2014 Motivational Press. Reprinted with permission. By Hogan Hilling and Al Watts.
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“It” happened one random night and remains one of my hardest moments as a new stay-at-home father.
Our son was only six-months-old at the time and, so far, a great sleeper. It was just past midnight (only twenty minutes after I laid my own head down) when he startled us awake with a loud cry.
This cry was different; not of pain, hunger or fright, but a cyclical cry/whine/whimper. I silenced the monitor and dashed upstairs to investigate. It only took a few minutes for me to realize something was up, something different, something out-of-the-norm with my son.
I left the lights off for a few minutes and observed before getting involved. Was he sleep-crying? A bad dream? I have nightmares—terrible ones in fact—but what could a six-month-old possibly be scared of? A breast-milk shortage? Joking aside, I became very concerned when he wouldn’t respond to my voice.
I turned the lights on and tried soothing actions such as rubbing his belly which worked like a charm on many previous nights. Then I started clapping my hands, trying to get his attention. His eyes opened, but he did not seem to see me.
He looked like a zombie. I picked him up, cradled him in my arms and walked around. He was not alert or aware but appeared awake. We moved to different rooms in the house; we even went outside for some brisk air, but nothing calmed him down. I could not console my son!
I grabbed bunny (a favorite toy hiding in the laundry basket). He helped a bit, but the cyclical crying continued. After nearly an hour of walking and rocking and humming, he suddenly came out of it and fell asleep. I imagine he was completely exhausted. I was.
I placed him back in the crib, rubbed his belly for a few minutes while he fell asleep like nothing happened. I never felt so helpless in my life.
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Totally baffled, and energized by both mystery and fear, I immediately did an internet search. Yes, I know, internet searches at 2 am about medical or sleep issues will generally make a bad thing worse. In this case, I found a resource that eased my mind and helped solve the mystery. My son experienced “night terrors.” Wow…(exhale) I must have missed that section in the “new parent brochure.”
Night terrors, I learned, are an interruption in a child’s REM sleep. It is not uncommon for a growing baby brain, especially one learning to sleep and dream. A combination of illness and lack of sleep can trigger this in children of all ages. I also learned that over-stimulation after it occurs only makes it worse. I wish I had known that a few hours before!
After another hour of internet research, I discovered my son was never really awake; he was stuck between sleep stages.
I found my way back to the comfort of my own bed, turned the monitor on and prayed it would not happen again. As I shut my eyes, all I could hear was his cyclical, hysterical screaming and crying in my head. I can still hear it.
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The next day, my wife and I discussed what happened. Looking back, our son did run a slight fever and was transitioning from three to two naps per day. Both, as it turned out, were contributing factors to the night terror episode. Picking him up and turning on the lights only perpetuated it.
There are differing philosophies on how to handle night terrors. Some parents will pick up their baby; some will let their baby cry it out. I had no idea what was happening, so I picked him up. We decided if it happened again, we would watch him through the monitor since my efforts did not seem to help. Luckily, over the next few nights, he slept well.
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Three months later, when my wife was several states away on business, “it” happened again. I immediately recognized the crying, as if it happened only yesterday. This time, there were no obvious triggers, no sleep issues, no illness.
As I watched him via the monitor, I noticed he was playing with his crib-mounted aquarium (a new favorite bedtime toy). He was acting like a zombie again, hitting the toy, setting off the lights and music, then crawling around the crib crying. He would lay down for a minute, then pop back up and hit the aquarium again. This went on for 15-20 minutes before I decided to intervene. I realized this toy was over-stimulating him during his “stuck REM cycle” and perpetuating more night terrors.
I flew up the stairs on a mission—stop the zombie baby! Once in his room, I had to get this toy out of the crib. Easier said than done, as it was both strapped and tied to the back side of his crib. I thought, “This is really going to mess him up,” but it had to be done.
After I chucked the toy into another room, I killed the lights, picked him up and held him close while I rocked in the chair. After twenty minutes of rocking and humming tunes from The Doors (see, dads are cool), he was sleeping in my arms. “Success! I am the greatest dad alive,” I thought to myself and gently put him back down in his crib. Of course, it was not quite that easy, as it took one more round of rocking and humming to ensure he was down for the night.
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I believe it is important for every parent to be aware of his child’s emotions, schedules, and reactions. My instincts told me something was off. I tried several things. I did research. I talked to my wife. Even if it was out of my comfort zone, I knew I had to find a solution that would work for my son.
Thankfully, my son no longer has night terror issues. We now have a daughter, who just turned six months old, but if she has “it,” I’ll know what to do.
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James Kline is a dad to two children and husband to wife, Michele. James is the co-organizer for the Triangle Stay-At-Home Dad (TSAHD) group in Raleigh, North Carolina, which promotes involved parenting and offers a community for over 250 stay-at-home dads. James also served on the Board for the National At-Home Dad Network and received a 2014 People of Distinction Humanitarian Award as a representative for parenthood. When he is not doing these things, James is brewing his own beer, restoring cars or writing on his at www.apexdaddy.com. James and his family live near Raleigh, NC.
Hogan Hilling is a nationally recognized and OPRAH approved author of 12 published books. Hilling has appeared on Oprah. He is the creator of the DADLY book series and the “#WeLoveDads” and “#WeLoveMoms” Campaigns, which he will launch in early 2018. He is also the owner of Dad Marketing https://dadmarketingconsulting.wordpress.com/, a first of its kind consultation firm on how to market to dads. He is also the founder of United We Parent, www.unitedweparent.com. Hilling is also the author of the DADLY book series and first of its kind books. The first book is about marketing to dads “DADLY Dollar$” and two coffee table books that feature dads and moms. “DADLY Dads: Parents of the 21st Century” and “Amazing Moms: Parents of the 21st Century.” Hilling is the father of three children and lives in southern California.
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Originally published in Dads Behaving DADLY: 67 Truths, Tears, and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood Copyright © 2014 Motivational Press. Reprinted with permission.
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