Avoid the Crowds and Start Your New Year’s Resolution Now

For the second year in a row, my wife and I have decided try for 100 days of sobriety. Like… in a row!

Actually, this year we’ve extended it to 120 days, which would make our first eligible day to drink New Year’s Day.

Going 120 isn’t because we are trying to impress people or use it as an opportunity to feel superior.

I’m only like that when I’m drunk.

The truth is that we’re excited at the notion of waking up on New Year’s morning completely rested and sober, ready to enjoy a guilt-free session of day drinking, while the rest of society is feeling the exact opposite.

When drinking alcohol isn’t an option, thinking about drinking counts as entertainment for us.

This contrarian approach to New Year’s got me thinking about how we could all benefit from avoiding that annual tradition of starting off yet another year immediately setting ourselves up for failure.

The dreaded New Year’s resolution.

Research suggests that only 9% of Americans that make resolutions actually keep them. Statistically speaking, you have a better shot at getting fondled by Russel Brand than you do sticking to that ambitious, new workout routine.

Let’s face it, goals are challenging enough regardless of the time of year, but the risk of failure is much more elevated when it’s attached to the adrenaline rush (and the subsequent crash) of a new year. Some resolution Kryponite includes:

lack of planning: many of us blurt out a resolution without establishing a clear plan. We’ll set vague or overly ambitious goals without breaking them down into actionable steps.
unrealistic expectations: frustration and disappointment can derail us when progress doesn’t happen as quickly as hoped. (‘I’ve done these crunches for a week. Where the fuck are the abs?’)
social pressure: the societal pressure to make resolutions on New Year’s can lead to setting goals that really aren’t important to us. Interestingly, that’s the reason I’m so skilled at ‘twerking.’
all-or-nothing mentality: the perfectionist in us believes that any minor slip-up means complete failure. One slight hiccup and we’re closing down the shop for good..

Beginning your resolution on some random October morning instead of the most overhyped date on the calendar takes immediate pressure off of you to ‘go big or go home’ and avoid the peril that mindset all but guarantees.

Every book I’ve ever read on building successful habits touts the approach of breaking them down into bite-size, actionable chunks. The thought of losing 50 pounds feels so daunting that it paralyzes us. However, committing to a 20-minute daily walk is thoroughly doable.

While on the topic of books, here are four of the best on the topic of forming (or, maybe more importantly, breaking) habits:

Atomic Habits by James Clear: this bestseller has become a phenomenon, having sold over 15 million copies. Its popularity is justified. His section about focusing on creating systems as opposed to setting goals is worth the price of the book alone.

Mini Habits by Steven Guise: this short book (126 pages) is a bit of a hidden gem. Guise’s approach to successful habit-forming is to break them down into ‘stupid small’ steps.

Instead of committing to 60 minutes of daily meditation, commit to one minute. Better yet, commit to one breath. Making your habit ‘too small to fail’ will often trigger Newton’s first law of setting an object in motion.

One breath will lead to one minute, which will lead to…

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen: I loved this book so much when I read it over a decade ago that I bought a copy for each of my sons and told them they had to read it. One of them actually did a school book report on it, so at least one of those little punks listened to me.

While I’ve seen the concept cited many times since, The Slight Edge was the first book I read that promoted the mindset of getting 1% better each day and enjoying its compound effect over a lifetime. Here is a passage that explains his philosophy:

‘The things that take you out of failure and up toward survival and success are simple. So simple, in fact, that it’s easy to overlook them. Extremely easy to overlook them. It’s easy to overlook them because when you look at them, they seem insignificant. They’re not big, sweeping things that take huge effort. They’re not heroic or dramatic. Mostly they’re just little things you do every day and that nobody else even notices. They are things that are so simple to do — yet successful people actually do them, while unsuccessful people only look at them and don’t take action.

Things like taking a few dollars out of a paycheck, putting it into savings, and leaving it there. Or doing a few minutes of exercise every day — and not skipping it. Or reading ten pages of an inspiring, educational, life-changing book every day. Or taking a moment to tell someone how much you appreciate them, and doing that consistently, every day, for months and years. Little things that seem insignificant in the doing, yet when compounded over time yield very big results.’

Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg: Another disciple of the ‘tiny is mighty’ approach, Fogg is probably the most qualified on the subject of habits of the group (he founded the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University). Despite being an academic, Fogg’s writing is very approachable and filled with actionable advice.

For a great visual explanation of why some habits work and some don’t, check out the Fogg Behavior Model.

The model above shows that three elements must converge at the same moment for a behavior to occur: Motivation, Ability, and a Prompt (or Trigger). When a behavior does not occur, at least one of those three elements is missing.

So, the easier it is to perform a habit and the more motivated you are, the higher your success rate when the trigger shows up.

Take the guy that really wants to lose weight (high motivation) and is determined to walk 20 minutes each day (easy to do). My man goes a step further by putting his shorts and sneakers at the foot of his bed. When he gets out of bed in the morning and sees his gear laid out (trigger), he is as good as gold.

Don’t let New Year’s Eve be your trigger. If you start working towards your goal today, you’ll have nine weeks already under your belt before that ball drops.

These next nine weeks will pass just as quickly as the last nine weeks did. Wouldn’t it be great if you could mark that time by doing something that makes you proud of yourself at the end of that?

The days are going to pass us either way.

Imagine all the people waking up hungover on New Year’s morning with their shiny new goal hovered over them, singeing their retinas.

That’s their Day 1.

You, on other hand, wake up on New Year’s morning (hungover, well-rested, still drunk… doesn’t matter) to the awesome realization that you are months ahead of everyone.

This New Year’s Day, we’re both totally going to feel so superior to all those Day 1-ers.

Now, that’s a good way to start off the year.

…

Join my newsletter, Reboot Camp Weekly, and get my free eBook that’ll help you live your best life after 40.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***

From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

***

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.