I’m still a young man. I mean, I’m 41 years old, but I’m a young 41. I still have the opportunity to create an amazing life from a blank page.
And in this healing journey I’ve been taking over the past month or so, I have some learned some difficult, challenging, and powerful lessons.
I’ve chronicled much of the journey I’ve taken. This healing journey has helped to get me present to so many things I want out of life. And in some cases, ways I can create the things I want to create.
A King doesn’t hope and wish things were better. A King grabs life by the horns and makes his life better!
A King proclaims the life he wants. He takes the action to create the life he wants. And he enlists support to make that happen.
Speaking of Kings, let’s consider President Kennedy’s iconic “We choose to go to the moon” speech he made at Rice University in September of 1962.
Kennedy put his foot in the sand. He made a bold declaration. And by July of 1969, Neil Armstrong took that giant leap for mankind.
It wasn’t something he did alone. And sadly, Kennedy didn’t live to see his proclamation come true.
And things sure didn’t go smoothly. Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger Chaffee lost their lives when Apollo 1 caught fire on the launch pad. Hell, Armstrong himself was fortunate he wasn’t killed in that Apollo 11 training accident!
Life happens! And if you believe that you can control anything except how you respond to life, then you’re believing a myth.
As I said, I’ve learned some valuable and important lessons in recent times. I share these 10 lessons because I believe that y’all can gain some value from this. My journey is your journey.
I’m going to start with the harshest lesson first.
1.Life ain’t fair.
It isn’t fair. It never has been fair. And it never will be fair. However, if you’re living your life from your highest and best Self, you’ll be fine. That gives you the best chance to be a success. Don’t let life stop you. Don’t let fear stop you. Grab life by the balls and squeeze it for all it’s worth.
2.People are going to leave…let them.
To use one of the lamest clichés in the English language, “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” Is it fair that people leave? Abandon you? Die? Hell no! It’s not even in the same ballpark as fair! But if that person you invested all your time, energy, and love into isn’t the one for you, then let them go. Make sure the time, energy, and love are going into you first.
3.You can’t do a damn thing about your past.
Let it go! I’m serious, let that shit go, man! You’re better than this! Quit holding onto your mistakes, your missteps, and your failures. If you hold onto your missed opportunities, then you’re just like Ed Norton in Fight Club. You might as well be punching yourself in the nose repeatedly. Put the whip that you use to beat yourself up back in its holster, and let’s get to freaking work!
How many times do I have to say it? How many times to have I have to climb to the top of the World Trade Center and shout it for the entire world to hear? Breaking news: you’re a human being! Again, with the notable exception of Ralph the dog from Iowa. Humans make mistakes. Humans screw up. Forgive yourself and you’ll drop a lot of that energy weight
5.Never, ever, ever, ever forget who you are!
Who you are isn’t your name, what you do for a living, or your material things. Who you are is what people see in you. Your kindness, your warmth, your joyful demeanor, and your peaceful soul – that is who you are. Honestly, this is a lesson I need repeated on a pretty regular basis. When I remember that I am brilliance, heart, and I have the presence of a warm campfire, there’s no cap to my greatness. And there’s no cap to yours as well.
6.This shit ain’t that deep!
Note to self on this one. Unless you practice in quantum physics, or are an actual rocket scientist, then the things you want in life ain’t rocket science! I mean, I want a girlfriend. This means connecting with human beings. I’m not figuring out mathematical formulas here. I’m having conversations. I’m a Jedi like that anyway.
7.Never forget your roots.
This goes into the conversation of what makes you, you. If you forget where you plant your roots, you won’t know from where your branches and leaves will grow.
8.Remember, you have friends.
Even as the friendless loser I used to see myself as, I always had friends. I didn’t choose to see it because I couldn’t trust myself. And honestly, I hated myself during most of those “friendless loser” days. Everybody reading this has someone they can call at 2 in the morning when you’re in a pinch. They might not like it, but they’ll take your call.
What does F1 do? It pulls up the help menu of most computer programs. Ask for help! Gentlemen, drop your pride and ask for some friggin’ help!
Hang on…didn’t I already mention that? I know I already mentioned that. That’s how important it is. Even if you don’t think you need to, do it anyway. Say what needs to be said and get complete. And keep choosing it.
• • •
I see this every day (and oftentimes in the mirror). We tend to make things way more complicated and involved than they need to be.
When I was a kid, I loved collecting and building these complicated Lego models. And if you’ve ever put together a Lego model, you know how involved some of those instructions could be.
I never got overwhelmed. I simply zoned out and took things one step at a time.
As an adult, I have lost this ability. I have lost the ability to keep things simple. And it overwhelms me.
I’m in process with all of these things. And I’ll certainly let y’all know how things go.
Let my process support your process.
I’m taking on four new clients this May. If you tend to overthink and overcomplicate your life, I can help you get out of that.
Email me at [email protected] and we can connect on a sample coaching session.
• • •
Remember when I said there were 10 lessons that I’ve learned in my healing journey?
There are actually 11. So, the last and the most important lesson of them all is:
11.You already know how to do this!
You already have the answers. You already know how to create the exact life you want to create. You already know how to make the money, lose the weight, get the girl, etc. You can do this! Now go make it happen!
It ain’t that deep, yo! It’s just your life! Live it!