In October of 2010, I posted a short video on YouTube called “The Best Way to Die.” I had spent so much time doing web searches for “The best way to die” over the years that my browser history could have served as a suicide note. In the video, I explain that I’ve spent years researching the best ways to die so let me share what I’ve found with you to save you a little time, the best way to die…is old age.
The video has over 35,000 views, many more dislikes than likes and more than 300 comments. I do get many “thank you” comments. Some are very aggressive in their appreciation.
Pewds Broette: Thank you for this…
Chuck Hartlen: That was FANTASTIC my friend!!! Thank you.
George Gomez: Wow! That was a simple but F’ING AWESOME ANSWER. I will try to bare with my existence. God Bless you sir.
When I first decided to share my story about being a survivor of multiple suicide attempts publicly, I said to myself that if I can save one life, it will be worth it. And I have been blessed to receive numerous comments and emails that something I shared changed someone’s mind about ending their life.
Raijmon Ravensway: Best advise my friend I needed that. You don’t know but you just saved my life. Thanx man. God bless.
Gigi Lilly: Thank you. You just saved my life. I was just about to kill myself then this saved me. This is really what I needed.
But the “thank yous” are FAR outnumbered by the “F- yous.”
Then there are the people who wish me a horrible death.
PROFITOFDOOM008: after watching this video I hope you to die in the worse way to die.
I’ve actually grown to enjoy seeing the dislikes add up for this video. I get a different level of satisfaction from the hate-filled comments because that person is, at least temporarily, focusing their hate on me instead of at themselves. Instead of taking it personally, I’m thankful that I know for at least a moment, that person was able to express their anger outward instead of only inward. Instead of continually judging and condemning themselves – they’ve thrown it my way.
The video was made to be a temporary distraction from someone’s suicidal thinking and planning. It makes some people smile, think again, and others are driven to strike out at me. I’m okay with it all – though I must admit I was not at first. Initially, I took every comment very personally. Some of the very things people have written are the exact words I feared the most. I’ve been called a “prick,” “gay,” “liar,” and the funniest one to me, “you obviously have no idea what it is like to be depressed.”
The very words that kept me quiet and meek, now fuel me when they show up. Some viewers have even reported me to YouTube for being a scam because I didn’t show them how to die by their own hand. Thus far, YouTube has not taken action against me.
You can watch the video below, but to see the comments you’ll need to visit YouTube.
“The Best Way to Die” video has proven to me the power of our diverse experiences and perceptions. The video isn’t good or bad, it just is. The attitude of each viewer determines their experience of the video. Our thoughts create our perceptions and our reality.
Originally published in Andy’s book, Still Here: How to Success in Life AFter Failing at Suicide and republished here with the author’s permission.
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