Has anyone on r/adultery ever retired from this lifestyle?
Lately, I’ve been thinking about putting more effort into my marriage.
Fooled ya!
Not really, folks. I gave up on my marriage long ago. So has my husband. The less we said to each other, the better.
Yet most adulterers wrote that they didn’t want to give up on their marriages. They tried to make them work and gave up reluctantly. I knew going back to my unsatisfying sexless marriage was unthinkable.
“I’ve tried retirement a few times. I’m here, so…I’m sure you can guess how well that worked out. Ha,” wrote Badmarriedman. “I don’t think you can ever retire. You either get divorced or take a break from it. That itch never went away…I stopped looking for years, but that itch…”
That was what I was afraid of.
Not being able to stop.
Even if my marriage got better, I wouldn’t stop. I would want the thrills and the excitement. But in reality, how could I go back?
Delightfullyevilady wrote, “I tried. Twice. After I changed jobs and could not continue seeing my lover, I vowed to end cheating. That didn’t last long. I tried to recommit to my marriage after my current affair partner called off our original affair.”
She continued, “The thing is, as long as I’m getting properly fucked, I’m happy with my husband and can focus on the good parts of my marriage. I turn cruel and hurtful when I’m not feeling satisfied sexually, and my marriage suffers for it. Since the only way I can find to get said satisfaction is by looking outside my marriage, then cheat, I must.”
Will I be a “career cheater” until I die? Is that what was going to happen? I’ll always be on the lookout for my next lover? It has already started — this cycle. I was with the Italian, and I wanted more. I got the Doctor, and he wasn’t enough. I had both. Now I was looking again.
Somehow, I prayed my libido tanked and wouldn’t care about sex anymore. I couldn’t imagine being in my seventies and still pining for passion. Maybe I’d get burnt out. This was what would happen. I would become resigned to being unsatisfied.
I don’t think so.
The genie wasn’t going back in the bottle.
“It all sucks. I can definitely advocate for putting more into a marriage if there is a possibility that it could become whole for you,” wrote Bodyhasasoul.
In my case, that wasn’t an option any longer.
No matter how little we talked to each other or how much, the divide between my husband and I continued.
So, can anyone “retire” from this lifestyle? Or are we “career cheaters” until we can’t attract partners anymore?
Tell me in the comments, dear readers.
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This is an excerpt from my book. Do you think I should self-publish?
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Links outside The Medium for those who like to live on the edge (like me):
- Follow me on substack — [email protected] (It’s free and I’m interestingly evil…)
- ko-fi.com/monalisasmiled (Help a lady adulteress out, won’t you? I’m so bad, I’m good.)
- Buy me a chai tea at Patreon at [email protected] and spare me selling my body and soul on OnlyFans. (I’m old. C’mon.)
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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