Can I Find True Love After 40?

Mature love does not keep you a child even when you’re an adult.

Few people discover someone who genuinely cares about them and makes them feel appreciated. Of course, if you’ve had a more prosperous life and traveled the world, it’s been more difficult for other individuals.

But if that’s the case, reconciling mature love with pure love may be easier than it appears. True love, no matter what, is unconditional.

The process of maturity starts when we get past the things that kicked us off in any case: Making love with who we are and wanting others to love us too.

Everybody needs to be content and solid. At the point when you progress in years it is difficult to fall in with individuals who need what you do.

It’s not how old you are, it’s how you act.

Age is Just a Number — Or Is It?

There are many reasons why people meet their future partner at the time they do, but none of them affect how happy you will be after you’ve found your person.

You think someone is good for you when you first meet them, but if you know more about them and grow in love with them over your relationship, that person has become better than the one who was originally suited.

It’s easy to think of it as just a number, but does age rule our odds of finding love?

In a 2019 survey by the Pew Research Center, about 40 % of adults aged 40 and above believe it’s harder for them to date now than when they were younger. This impression could be due to social conventions or private anxieties about aging.

But age also brings WISDOM and a better grasp of what we want out of life, including in our partners.

These are precious assets in the quest for love.

One study found that because older adults generally have higher expectations and a clearer list of preferences for their potential partners, they are helped to find suitable matches.

The Science of Love in Your 40s

Biologically, our 40s are a period of profound change.

Hormonal changes can affect our wants and needs.

But here’s an interesting twist: The research has shown that as we grow older, our emotional regulation and empathy skills improve.

A study indicates that people over 40 often have greater emotional maturity and understanding, just those traits essential for rich, deep relationships.

Moreover, we are told by neuroscience that our brain stays capable of deep emotional attachments to the end.

The theory of neuroplasticity — that the brain is capable of making new connections all our lives — implies that one person can love another at any age and experience the full depth of emotional attachment.

…

Psychologically, our 40s can be an age of personal development on a grand scale.

The stages of psychosocial development theory proposed by Erikson, a famous psychologist, held that the central conflict in middle adulthood is between generativity and stagnation.

At this stage, the attention is often turned to care and passing on things to the next generation.

This generative nature can provide new ways of being loved and together.

Furthermore, psychologist Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love suggests that love comprises three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Perhaps as we get older, our perception of these elements and their value changes over time to build better relationships.

…

“Love in your 40s is a process of self-realization.”

The love of Plato goes beyond sexual attraction to a love of minds and souls. When we are in our 40s, this deeper, more philosophical aspect of love is usually the one that speaks to us most.

And if you know about French philosopher Alain Badiou love as a construction, a constant building and rebuilding

This point of view especially applies to us in our 40s, because we have the wisdom from previous experiences which allows us, more than others, to undertake this construction.

…

Then online dating changed the nature of romance, especially for those aged over 40.

For example, ourtime.com and silversingles.co.uk are dating sites and apps created for older people seeking a second chance at romance, even marriage.

According to a study by the University of Chicago, marriages that started online were less likely to end in separation or divorce and correlated with higher levels of satisfaction.

The survey included 19,131 persons who married between 2005 and 2012. It discovered that almost 35% of marriages started online, and that online couples had better marital satisfaction and lower rates of divorce than offline couples.

Last words:

So after 40, is true love possible?

The facts are strongly in favor of a yes, scientifically.

With age, we get wisdom, experience, and an understanding of our own needs and desires.

It also offers us a chance to think about our relationships in more adult terms, as well as with greater understanding and sensitivity for the subtleties of love.

Finding love isn’t the same in your 40s, as it was when you were in your twenties.

But that journey can be just as rewarding, if not more so. Please don’t forget: true love knows no age limit, but the greater stock we have to bring into it the richer is our lot.

So, if you’re over 40 and wondering if love is still on the cards for you, my message is one of hope and encouragement.

Indeed it is, although the journey has perhaps only just begun.

…

If you like this then subscribe to my medium Newsletter.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***

From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

***

Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.