“I never heard of, of, rape and a man.”
–Joe Paterno, 1/14/2012
Remember back to 2011. News of Jerry Sandusky, Penn State’s assistant football coach, dominated the headlines. He was arrested and charged with 52 counts of “sexual abuse” of young boys over a 15-year period of time. Now remember Joe Paterno’s infamous quote about how he “…never heard of, of, rape and a man.”
The naiveté of Paterno’s comment was difficult for many of us to fathom, and it sparked articles like this one: How could any Roman Catholic such as Joe Paterno not have heard of ‘rape and a man’?
Making the large assumption that, in fact, Joe Paterno was telling his truth, why might he never have heard of such a thing? The UN’s recent “lambasting” of the Roman Catholic Church could provide a few insights as to why.
First, it was rape and a boy. Many boys. But let’s start with “rape.”
A quick Google search of these Vatican crimes will find seemingly infinite use of the terms “child abuse” and “sex abuse” to describe what in reality was the Vatican “systematically” adopting policies that allowed priests to rape and molest perhaps tens of thousands of children (many of whom were boys). Some of these children were allegedly held against their will and repeatedly raped over the course of years. Many of these cases not only should be described as rape; they should be described as a form of sexual slavery. But few international news sources have referred to it as such, in part, because we have a serious problem, a major discomfort, with using such terms to describe what happens when a man rapes a young boy. We’re far more comfortable calling it “child abuse” or “molestation” or, if we absolutely must, “sex abuse.”
According to Dr. Warren Blumenfeld of UMass Amherst’s College of Education, one reason for this discomfort is because,
“When a man is raped it presents a narcissistic injury to all men who are socialized to perform as the aggressor, the inserter, the ‘active’ sexual partner, the one whose ‘gaze’ is projected outward onto a sexual object. The thought of this ‘gaze’ breaking through and infiltrating the shield around his body, when he becomes the object of another’s gaze, or worse, when his body is penetrated by another, when he is sexually violated, all that he had been socialized to believe, to act upon, to understand, is also violated. Rather than believe this could happen, he and the society in which he resides rejects it, denies it, discounts it, disowns awareness and acknowledgement of it, or if the facts are indisputable, simply views it as an aberration.”
I mistakenly thought that the Sandusky case would tear down some walls we have about using the true terms to talk about the rape of boys, but in many ways it seems we’re back to where we started.
Let’s move on to “boys.” Although we’re able to talk about men raping each other, so much so that we make rape jokes about prisoners, I’ve noticed in my years of studying the crime of sex trafficking that we are still reluctant to call it rape when it involves a man and a boy, and even more so when it involves a woman and a boy. If a “Roman Catholic such as Joe Paterno” truly never heard of such an act, one reason why is undoubtedly because we as a society have been too uncomfortable? scared? ignorant? to call it what it really is.
Note: I’ve met hundreds of leaders from various churches and they seem to have no problem using the terms “rape” and “sex slavery” when (1) it’s used in the context of one of their campaigns trying to end the scourge of it and (2) it involves a man and a girl or a man and a woman.
As the natural/cultural physicality of boys is exploited, so too are the bodies of girls enslaved for the natural/cultural use of their body parts. According to most reports, girls seem to be used more often as sex slaves than boys. However, this greatly depends on place. While the vast majority of raids discover and rescue girls, in Afghanistan and coastal Sri Lanka boys are more likely than girls to be forced into prostitution. According to Project Futures, an NGO based in Sydney, Australia that works to raise awareness and funding for anti-slavery programs, although the International Labour Organization states that 98% of sex trafficking victims are female:
“…boys are amongst the most stigmatised victims of sex trafficking, further obfuscating any opportunities for identification and assistance. The hidden nature of male prostitution, alongside gendered stereotypes that denote males as physically and sexually incapable of being victims of sexual exploitation limits the scope of trafficking victim identification to only target potential female victims.
“Moreover, rescued male victims of sex trafficking are less likely to encounter suitable resources for support and reintegration services. Often at risk of being treated as illegal migrants rather than victims of sexual exploitation, male trafficking victims can face deportation or criminal charges for acts directly related to being trafficked. Inadequate legal systems – for example, if trafficking laws only stipulate crimes committed against female victims – also contribute to the discrimination faced by male victims of trafficking.”
While the public sphere often hears the stories of girls and women forced to work in their master’s fields or being trafficked from Indonesia to work as maids in Los Angeles, it’s rare that we hear about the many stories whereby boys were bought and sold for sex. One reason posited for this discrepancy is “comfort.” An anti-slavery NGO staff member told me that the “mass of a population is far more comfortable hearing the story of a girl being used as a sex slave” than as a boy being used as a sex slave. “It’s man-to-girl,” one anti-slavery activist told me, “…and in the minds of many this is a far more natural leap of imagination than is man-to-boy. It’s as though we can’t talk about this issue properly because we don’t yet have the language to do so. But we do have the language. We’re just terrible at using it in this context.”
It’s this difference in body parts between boys and girls, and our “comfort” in avoiding talk about any discomforting alternatives, that often leaves boys forgotten as sex slaves. As one public health researcher put it:
“Girls, no matter how young, have vaginas, and as men are mostly the leaders of sex trafficking rings and also the users of sex slaves, we’ve created this story that immediately and without questioning associates forced sexual acts, in this context, as that only between a man and a girl.”
Peter Pollard, Communications/Professional Relations Director for 1in6 and coordinator for SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) wrote an article along with Dr. David Lisak, Board Chair of 1in6, in which they said:
“Most conversations about sexual violence relegate men to one of two roles:
(1) Bystander: with the potential either to ignore or to disrupt a witnessed sexual violation
(2) Perpetrator: the one who commits the violation
A new White House Task Force, formed to confront historically-inadequate responses to sexual assault on college campuses, could help educate the nation about a third role men often have:
(3) Survivor: the one who has experienced sexual trauma.”
Although incredible organizations like 1in6.org—a group working to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives—and MaleSurvivor.org—a group that provides critical resources to male survivors of sexual trauma and all their partners in recovery by building communities of hope, healing, & support—have significantly increased the level of awareness on this issue, I still see how in commercial after commercial, conference after conference, television show after television show (most recently on Katie Couric’s latest episode titled “Sex Trafficking & Sporting Events), the sex slavery of boys is simply not mentioned.
The current system was created by the male gender. Women have had little, if any say, in how our society works; for most of history, women stayed home, raised children. Men created wars; men fought one another, created ever more dangerous weapons, raised the prestige of war, the military, violence. Men raped women, abused and killed other men. The disposability of men is a direct consequence of patriarchy. To solve all these problems, start there. Can men in power reach inside themselves to find and embrace the feminine? The antidote to dominance, power, control, individuality? Can women become leaders without… Read more »
Name one animal species where males aren’t disposable. Even where there is no patriarchy, males are treated as disposable. Your argument is not valid.
the language od disposable males as a support fir women is essential to the creation of buy-in drom which those who take leadership positions. It is a core belief system guiding part of their rules of the game. This is why the raging psychopaths who hate women get the (un)ethical structure being promoted and then try to do it themselves. I assume that any system which systemically harms any set of people is harming everyone. The only time that one group is set aside for a greater portion of spoils is when they are being used to help perpetuate that… Read more »
@Not Buyin It For me,the biggeest failings are the pretense fueled by hypocrisy,the psychological-slieght-of-hands-trick that is the fake concern.One cannot care ,equally for males and females,and, also be unable to see male and female as both victim and perpetrators.This sparing of just and due consideration to males as victims because abuse of males fails to meet some mythical threshold is base.Beyond that,the passivity of too many men is an invitation to be treated with indifference.The seriousness of this issue is reduced to coffee house chit chat.
@ogwriter …. “passivity of too many men is an invitation to be treated with indifference.The seriousness of this issue is reduced to coffee house chit chat.” Well stated and very true. I’d also like to add that “if” it even makes it to coffee house chit chat.
@Danny I know that you have made this point before about how the use of language contributes to the complex web of denial.I believe that the convulted use of language is a symptom and not the real issue,which is closemindedness and good ole fashioned bias.But we can’t ever address this bias directly because those that control the narrative on abuse will not let it happen.Women contribute to the disposability and abuse of men and boys.By admitting to and exploring such issues hurts the credibility of feminism.But few will admit to this truth,hence the misdirection through the clever use of language.Tell… Read more »
Ogwriter
The prevelent ideology and political correctness dictates that any concern shown to males of any kind is basically misogyny , regardless of the realities facing males specially in the third world , nothing will change until a lot more boys and men die systematically to affect the bottom line of these countries , companies, … Etc, males ( boys and men ) are disposable every where as a price to be paid to reach goals ( win wars, wealth, etc)
Ogwriter, you’re on a roll… keep it up
I am disappointed that this site has not done a good job of providing a safe place for men like myself to discuss and illuminate abuse that happens to men. Time and again, these articles appear and get bogged down in debates about nonessentials. A fact that was addressed by Cameron’s disclaimer. People who deny that these things happen to males should not be tolerated..
I have to comment here and share that it was hurtful reading some of this. Of course because it pains me to think of how children – girls AND boys are treated so horrifically around the world. But with that, it pained me to read the subheading – “he UN’s recent reports on the treatment of children in Syria and in the Roman Catholic Church…” To put the “Roman Catholic Church” in the same context as the examples in Syria and other parts of the world is a gross misinterpretation of the Church. The sins of certain people who are… Read more »
Thank you for speaking up E.M.
“Dead and non-identified workers….leaving a widow and children with no news and no income.” This kind of language continues to aggravate me, and not enough people are calling bullshit on this rhetoric. Language like this suggests that killing men is bad not because men are human beings but because dead men can’t support their wives and families. A man’s death is bad because it’s inconvenient to other people who need his paycheck. It reminds me of an oft-quoted statement attributed to Hillary Clinton that the true victims of war are women, because war makes widows. (And how does a married… Read more »
No Man in Particular. I like how you stated this. A few tears ago I saw an article that mirrored your example. The widows left behind were the true victims. I’m trying to find it but I remember losing it when I read it.
I read this piece a few days ago and I still keep coming back to it to read it again and again, linked articles included. It’s taken me a little time to get through everything. But my suggestion to anyone who does read this piece, is to not just read the article but to go through the actual links too. Every single one of them. I still don’t think I’ve yet absorbed everything I can from it. Child soldiers used as shields, cotton field slavery (you can’t just go and stop wearing cotton to help), shipbreaking (I had no idea… Read more »
@Erin I just do not get it? !Why is it so darned difficult to see what is so clearly evident and true?!Over the year that I have been visiting GMP this subject, males are disposable and abused, has been visited with regularity. You write, ” I often forget that they can also be victims of these crimes as well.” WOW!? Thanks for the empathy. For that reason, I have visited this site with less frequency. That men can be and are,like women, victims and perpetrators is a no brainer. It seems to me as soon as feminists can accept what… Read more »
Cameron I would like to thank you for enlightening me to this “elephant in the room”. It saddens me in this day and age of supposed intelligence and human rights that such is barely tolerated. Your term disposability is apt and profound. It implies disregard for value and worth and conjures up thoughts of waste. Thank you for your exposing me to another dark corner that needs to be exposed and dealt with. I pray this provides some momentum to align the rape, abuse and exploitation of boys and men with the progress that has been made regarding the same… Read more »
One reason posited for this discrepancy is “comfort.” An anti-slavery NGO staff member told me that the “mass of a population is far more comfortable hearing the story of a girl being used as a sex slave” than as a boy being used as a sex slave. “It’s man-to-girl,” one anti-slavery activist told me, “…and in the minds of many this is a far more natural leap of imagination than is man-to-boy. It’s as though we can’t talk about this issue properly because we don’t yet have the language to do so. But we do have the language. We’re just… Read more »
There is a very, very long history of the disposability of boys (and men) often in the eyes of the few men who hold the bulk of power and authority in societies around the world and across time. It doesn’t belittle patriarchy or women/girls to admit this because patriarchy is not really the rule of men but the rule of elite men who see other males as tools to be used or obstacles to be removed.
Shocking. But necessary to know. Boys are typically not tracked with sex crimes/trafficking, there’s no real data to show the harm that’s happening to them, as there are for women. This piece is very important! Thank you.
A critically important and powerful article. Well done my friend. These heart ranching stories and facts need to be told, discussed and hopefully provide the catalyst for action around the world to combat this cancer. Income inequality and poverty are the root of this evil. Desperate people will do unspeakable things to survive including selling their children into slavery, sexual and labor, and our human urge for domination, exploitation and greed coupled with sexual urges and violence provide the fuel for this holocaust. This link is for a great Frontline piece on the Dancing Boys of Afghanistan. An ancient illegal… Read more »
Excellent piece, Cameron. Thank you for writing it. Let’s hope it continues to get the traction and attention it deserves.
Based on conservative numbers (1 in 6 males sexually abused before the age of 16) there are well in excess of 500 Million male survivors of sexual violence in the world today. Realistically speaking, the numbers are likely much higher. But even at this level, the staggering amount of abuse that exists is sobering.
Survivors, no matter their age, race, gender, faith, or sexual orientation deserve to be supported.
Chris Anderson
Executive Director, MaleSurvivor
Great article, and one of only a few discussing male disposability as a consequence of institutions of capitalist hegemony and patriarchal dominance (industry, military, etc). Most want to blame feminists for the plight of men, but in reality (poor) men have been expendable to other (rich) men for much longer than western feminism has been in existence. This article is EXTREMELY important for digging into the fundamental causes of inequality, and for men, long-standing socioeconomic class inequities are every bit as influential as it they are for women. Men, women, and children all suffer under current social systems, they just… Read more »
I know you’ve gotten a lot of heat for the preface, but I understand that you are positing this in an overall uncivil internet community (though GMP is quite good!). Actual feminist scholars (not angry kids in the comments sections of blogs or reddit) have been deconstructing the class structures that perpetuate economic inequalities regardless of sex since the 1960′s. In reality, we’re all on the same side. Don’t let the bitter, anonymous internet ghosts silence you… ever. What you have to say is far too important. I think that’s a bit unfair, implying that that preface was just for… Read more »
Powerful stuff, Cam.
Cameron, This is a heart-breakingly powerful article about the state of our world and how we treat each other. You write powerfully and clearly with facts and feelings. Its the best kind of writing I’ve found and so important to the healing that we need on the planet. It is too bad that you have to remind some people that telling the truth about the tragedy of boys in no way diminishes our concern for girls. But the reality is that some of the dialogue on male/female differences was (and sometimes still is) used to denigrate females. As more and… Read more »