I Won’t Take that First Drink Today
If I read one more chapter in the book
I finished reading yesterday.
If I write my daughter’s name in Sanskrit
and chant it to her as she sleeps.
If I organize the photos in my phone
from Least to Most Remembered.
If I nap till after midnight.
If I recite the names of all the
bugs I’ve ever crushed underfoot.
If I mold the ash in the hearth
into tiny Pompeiian bodies.
If I forget where I’ve hidden the bottle.
If I trim all the wicks and tuckpoint the bricks.
If I believe in the relativity of time.
If those storm clouds ever get here.
If I pretend the floor is lava
and it pretends I am the sea.
If I die from the drinks I had yesterday.
If what my mother told me is true
and I am her special boy.
If you tell me that I shouldn’t.
If I never finish this poem.
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