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Keith Negley, Tough Guys Have Feelings Too (Flying Eye Books, 2015).
Recommended age range: 3–5 years.
Negley’s colorful picture book depicts ninjas having disagreements with their friends, wrestlers experiencing anxiety about their matches, and superheroes shedding tears—all in order to teach boys that “manly” figures can still be “tough” and be connected to their emotions. While not completely dismantling the “tough guy” stereotype, it goes a long way in establishing the validity of a range of male emotions—and the acceptability of displaying such emotions in public.
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Munro Leaf, The Story of Ferdinand (Viking Books for Young Readers, 1936).
Recommended age range: 3–5 years.
Now adapted into a feature film, Ferdinand (2017), Leaf’s story of a bull who would rather stop and smell the flowers than become a bullfighter teaches boys that masculinity and aggressiveness don’t have to go hand in hand. As the book reveals, it’s a perfectly acceptable alternative to enjoy things that are typically coded as “feminine” like flowers, introspective reflection, and gentleness.
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James Howe, Big Bob, Little Bob (Candlewick, 2016).
Recommended age range: 4–6 years.
Although they have the same name, Big Bob and Little Bob have different interests: Big Bob enjoys playing with trucks and engaging in physical activities, while Little Bob prefers playing quietly—with dolls and dress-up items. Howe’s book teaches acceptance of various forms of masculinity by showing how Big Bob and Little Bob forge a friendship despite the differences in their interests and personalities.
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Charlotte Zolotow, William’s Doll (Harper & Row, 1972).
Recommended age range: 4–8 years.
William’s Doll tells the story of a boy who desperately wants a doll for a toy, despite being called a “creep” by his brother and a “sissy” by the boy who lives next door for voicing this wish. His dad keeps trying to force “boy toys” onto him until his grandmother gets the father to realize the value in wanting to learn how to take care of a child.
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Leslea Newman, Sparkle Boy (Lee & Low Books, 2017).
Recommended age range: 4–8 years.
Another book that tackles gender stereotypes in child’s play is Leslea Newman’s Sparkle Boy, the tale of a boy named Casey who loves his dump truck and building blocks but also enjoys wearing his sister’s sparkly skirt, painting his nails, and wearing jewelry. Initially confused by her brother’s nontraditional gender expression, Jessie comes to understand that she and Casey can both appreciate things that are sparkly and that Casey should be able wear whatever makes him feel best.
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Jessica Love, Julián Is a Mermaid (Candlewick, 2018).
Recommended age range: 4–8 years.
Similar to Sparkle Boy, Love’s debut picture book explores how dress can be integral to identity expression. In Julián Is a Mermaid, the eponymous character sees three women dressed up as mermaids and dreams about making his own mermaid costume—but worries about what his abuela will think of him. Julián’s mermaid costume ends up enabling him to express his individuality in a unique and profound way that brings him great joy.
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Sarah Hoffman’s Jacob’s New Dress (Albert Whitman, 2014).
Recommended age range: 4–8 years.
Like Newman’s and Love’s books, Hoffman’s story depicts a boy who loves dressing up in “girl clothes” even though his peers make fun of him endlessly for doing so. Wanting to wear a dress to school, Jacob must convince his parents to accept the way he wants to express his gender. As the product description reads on Amazon, “This heartwarming story speaks to the unique challenges faced by boys who don’t identify with traditional gender roles.”
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Cheryl Kilodavis, My Princess Boy (Aladdin, 2010).
Recommended age range: 4–8 years.
I bet you didn’t think there were this many children’s books that encourage boys to honor their desire to dress in “girl clothes”—thankfully, there are a number that challenge gender stereotypes in this way. The protagonist of My Princess Boy loves pink, sparkly “princess” things like tiaras and dresses. Kilodavis’s book teaches self-acceptance and advocates for the end of bullying.
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Michael Hall, Red: A Crayon’s Story (Greenwillow Books, 2015).
Recommended age range: 4–8 years.
Red: A Crayon’s Story speaks to the fluidity of identity in its narrative about a blue crayon that is mistakenly labeled “red.” Despite his teacher encouraging him to be red (by drawing red objects) and his mother encouraging him to be red (by sending him out with a yellow crayon to draw orange together), Red just can’t be red and is miserable trying to be a color he is not—a frustration that does not go away until a friend finally helps him see that he is really blue. In this story about accepting and being true to your inner self, children can find an important message that easily applies to gender expression.
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Brook Pessin-Whedbee, Who Are You?: The Kid’s Guide to Gender Identity (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2016).
Recommended age range: 5–8 years.
This nonfiction children’s book helps kids comprehend that gender comes in more shapes than simply male and female. It helps children tease apart the difference between our bodies, our expression, and our identity, giving them a language to talk productively about embodiment and gender expression.
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Photo Credit (main image): from “This is What 21st Century Fatherhood Looks Like”.
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Photo credit: Getty Images