
You ever notice how every generation swears they were the last ones to do love “the right way”?
Your grandparents will swear they stayed together out of deep, soul-binding devotion — conveniently skipping over the fact that half of them stayed because divorce was taboo and women couldn’t open a damn bank account without a man co-signing.
Your parents will tell you love was purer in the 80s, right before they remind you they married the first person who didn’t cheat on them for six months straight.
And now? We’ve got Gen Z — half of them outright saying, “Yeah, I’ll take the money over the love.”
Cue the collective gasp from the hopeless romantics clutching their thrift-store vinyl copy of The Notebook.
But here’s the slap-you-across-the-face truth: they’re not crazy. They’re just done buying the bullshit that love alone is enough.
Let’s tear this apart.
1. You’re Wired to Care About Money — Stop Pretending You’re Above It
Every love story you’ve ever been sold — from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet to 90s Meg Ryan rom-coms — trains you to think that “true love” is selfless, pure, and above material needs. Cute. Except, evolution didn’t get that memo.
Dr. David Buss, one of the leading voices in evolutionary psychology, has spent decades studying mate selection. His findings? Across cultures and history, financial stability ranks high on the priority list — especially for women.
And no, it’s not gold-digging. It’s survival. In hunter-gatherer tribes, the partner who could secure resources meant you and your kids lived.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs wasn’t written for the Tinder generation, but it still applies. Love and belonging sit above food, water, and safety for a reason.
If you’re worried about making rent, candlelight dinners feel like a fucking insult.
2. Social Media Turned Love Into a Marketplace
We live in an economy where you are the product. Instagram couples post curated beach trips like love is a lifestyle subscription service.
TikTok “get ready with me” videos double as covert ads for who’s dating whom.
Dating apps? Don’t get me started. They’re not about love; they’re about optimization — like you’re bidding for a used car on eBay. You can literally filter for income brackets on some of them.
The message? Your romantic worth is negotiable, and your bank balance is part of the pitch.
Remember Pretty Woman? Julia Roberts gets rescued from sex work by Richard Gere’s billionaire-with-a-heart. Today, that movie would end with her dumping him because his NFT portfolio tanked.
3. It’s Not Just Greed — It’s Trauma, Baby
Money over love isn’t always shallow — it’s often survival dressed up in designer. If you grew up with financial instability, your nervous system equates “broke” with “unsafe.” You’re not a gold digger; you’re trauma-proofing.
Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, talks about how early scarcity rewires your stress responses. If you watched your parents fight over bills or had your lights cut off as a kid, love without stability doesn’t feel romantic — it feels like a fucking threat.
I had a client — let’s call her Jenna — who broke off an engagement with a guy who adored her because he had zero career ambition.
Her words? “I loved him, but I couldn’t stomach a life of paycheck-to-paycheck panic.”
She didn’t choose money over love; she chose safety over chaos. And if you’ve ever been through hell, you know those aren’t the same thing.
4. Hustle Culture Made Romance an Afterthought
In the 80s, Wall Street gave us Gordon Gekko declaring, “Greed is good.”
In 2025, it’s morphed into, “Love is a distraction — secure the bag first.”
We’ve replaced candlelit dinners with networking events, and “quality time” with side hustles.
Neuroscience backs this up. Achievement triggers dopamine — the same neurotransmitter involved in the giddy, butterflies-in-your-stomach phase of love.
The problem? Career wins are more predictable than relationships. You know you’ll get the raise if you work for it. You don’t know if your partner will cheat, ghost, or decide they “need space” after three years.
So people chase the sure high. Falling in love is risky; hitting your quarterly sales target isn’t.
5. The Dangerous Math of Treating Love Like a Business Deal
Here’s the part nobody fucking tells you: When you measure relationships in ROI (return on investment), you strip them of the messiness that actually makes them worth having.
I once worked with a guy — we’ll call him Mark — who only dated women with six-figure salaries. His logic? “It’s just practical. Why tie myself to someone who can’t carry half the weight?”
Ten years later, he’s got money in the bank, but when I asked him to name one person he’d call in a crisis, he went silent.
Because here’s the thing: you can’t cuddle your stock portfolio. Your 401(k) won’t sit with you when your dad dies.
6. The Cultural Whiplash: From ‘Love Conquers All’ to ‘Love Can Wait’
Gen Z didn’t invent this shift — they just stopped pretending otherwise. Millennials laid the groundwork, with their student debt and “let’s move in together because it’s cheaper” logic.
Gen X watched their parents’ marriages implode and swore they’d be smarter. Boomers? Half of them stayed married out of economic necessity, which is why so many are now single at 65, looking for companionship on Facebook Marketplace.
The romantic ideal is shrinking because the economic reality is expanding. And pretending otherwise is like trying to fit a 90s rom-com into a Marvel movie budget — it’s not the same damn world.
Where the Fuck Do We Go From Here ?
First — stop shaming people for wanting financial stability. It’s not shallow; it’s sane. Second — stop acting like money automatically compensates for emotional poverty.
I’ve counseled billionaires who’d trade half their net worth just to have someone text them “good morning” without a prenup in mind.
If you’re in a relationship where one of you is financially ahead, talk about it. Not in the “I make more, so I decide where we vacation” way. In the “how do we build a life where both of us feel secure” way.
And if you’re single? Get fucking clear on your priorities. If money tops the list, own it. But know the cost: intimacy without vulnerability is just a contract, not a connection.
The Gut Punch
Love has always been part fantasy, part negotiation. The difference now is we’ve stripped away the illusions.
Half of Gen Z saying they’d choose money over love isn’t a death knell for romance — it’s a mirror. And if you don’t like the reflection, don’t blame the generation holding it.
Like The Beatles sang in 1964, “Money can’t buy me love.” True. But in 2025, it can damn sure buy you a therapist, a nice mattress, and a life where you’re not crying into ramen noodles.
The question isn’t whether money or love matters more — it’s whether you’ve got the guts to build a life where you don’t have to fucking choose.
— We’re two souls who said fuck the surface-level life.
We’re on a wild-ass journey through the rawest layers of spirituality — not the fluffy, polished kind. We believe it’s the only fucking truth left that shows you what it means to be fully, wildly, painfully human.
Along the way, we’ve cracked open the uncomfortable shit too — Personal Growth, Holistic Healing, Mental Health, and Sexual Wellness. Not just as buzzwords, but as the real pillars of a life that doesn’t feel fake or fucking numb.
We’re not here to preach. We’re here to feel deeply, sensually, and spiritually. And if you’ve ever had a moment where your soul screamed, “There’s more to this life than just surviving,” then yeah — this is your corner of the internet.
Also, we’ve poured our guts into a digital journal: 130 Journal Prompts on Inner Child Healing that aren’t just questions — they’re mirrors. Print them. Bleed onto them. Fucking meet yourself.
If you’re ready to go deeper than Instagram wisdom and bypass the therapy talk trends, go binge our site. There’s gold buried there!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Marek Studzinski On Unsplash