The phone rings — it’s my drama queen college buddy, so I know what’s coming.
“I just wanna curl up and die!” he wails. Right on script.
I let him go on his tirade for a few minutes, pacing as he vents about the latest so-called catastrophe. When he pauses to take a breath, I jump in.
“So what happened this time?”
“She took it too far. I can’t even…” He trails off, but of course he’s talking about his doting girlfriend Sarah. She’s treated him like a king for years, though he hardly deserves it.
“It was my birthday party last weekend,” he continues, “we’re all having cake, champagne, the whole deal at my parents’ house. Then she makes this big announcement and the projector turns on. It’s a freaking slideshow of us — baby pictures, dates, engagement photos, all set to music with effects. So cheesy. I wanted to crawl under the table.”
I bite my tongue. Sarah probably spent weeks on that slideshow, thinking it was a loving gesture. She even got photos from his parents, who adore her. But I know better than to criticize him directly.
“Hmm, sounds a bit awkward for a party,” I say casually. “But hasn’t she been great to you for like 5 years? Nobody’s perfect all the time.”
He scoffs, “Yeah right. You know she’s been driving me nuts lately with the wedding plans. I wish she could just chill out. It’s not for another year!”
I nod along, though I know Sarah’s not the problem. He’s got cold feet because he’s realizing he won’t be able to party and flirt once he’s married. But he’d never admit it.
“Weddings do make people stressed,” I reply diplomatically. “But Sarah’s stood by you through a lot. Remember when you got too drunk at the banquet junior year and puked on the Dean’s wife? Sarah smoothed everything over.”
I can envision his face scrunching up at this unwanted logic. He mumbles something incoherent about having to take another call and hangs up abruptly.
Shaking my head, I set down the phone. Why does he always come crying to me when things get real with Sarah? She’s supported him tirelessly through college, new jobs, moves, rocky family stuff. He needs to wake up.
At their engagement party last month, I watched Sarah fussing over every tiny detail to make the night perfect for him. And he spent the whole party flirting with some blonde from his office.
When I said something, he laughed it off: “Come on, I’m just having fun before the ball and chain.”
My patience is wearing thin. He’s been stringing Sarah along for years, using her devotion like a safety net. She deserves better.
But every time I’ve tried to confront him, he brushes me off. Our friendship means too much for me to give him tough love, he claims.
Maybe I should risk it. Better to finally be honest than watch him break her heart right as they walk down the aisle.
Yes, I’ve decided. The next time he calls complaining about Sarah, I’ll tell him straight. He needs to commit fully or let her find real happiness.
She’s not the problem — he is. And if I lose his friendship over it, so be it. True friends call each other out to grow. Sarah helped me see that.
I just hope he wakes up before it’s too late. She’s one in a million, and he’s damn lucky to have her. Hopefully he realizes that before making the biggest mistake of his life.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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