Confidence-And 7 Ways to Deal With It (Self-Help Influencers Hide This)

Confidence is a dynamic feeling that comes and goes. Deal with it.

You won’t feel 100% confident every day for the rest of your life. Doing sales calls, talking to women, giving speeches, and every other comfort zone killer is bound to make your balls shake, even if it’s just a tiny bit.

However, a few nuances help keep a person emotionally balanced.

1) Confidence is just a feeling-

And feelings change.

Coaches and InfloOencers who preach confidence want people to think they’re confident 24/7, on and off camera, for every moment of the week. They created a persona who always looks in control, no matter what.

But that’s marketing, not real life. These guys are actors and salesmen for the most part.

2) Confidence is similar to low self-esteem-

They’re two sides of the same coin.

It’s the same energy, just with a plus and minus sign. The incredible feeling of confidence on Monday is almost bound to become a feeling of uncertainty on Saturday. The highs are inevitably followed by lows. Instead, aim for a sense of “calm confidence-

a tranquil notion that comes from self-love and non-judgement.

3) Confidence is a result of action and time-

The more you do something, the better you get at it.

Whatever fear you have will shrink with time. The first time you approach a girl at the bar is 100x more scary than the twenty time. Your first sales call will be a million times more terrifying than your second.

4) Self-discipline > confidence

In my early 20s, I used to approach random women at bars.

I sucked at it, and it was scary, but I did it anyway. The reason was simple—I knew I had no choice. I could either stay alone “forever” or at least give myself a chance to succeed.

Looking back thirteen years later, I’m grateful for that kid willing to push forward.

5) Celebrate your wins-

I used to be neurotic about the things I needed to improve.

I brainwashed myself with the negatives and didn’t focus enough on the positives. One of the biggest things you can do to improve your self-esteem is to celebrate your success. Take the opportunity to celebrate every small win.

It creates a snowball effect where your confidence keeps on growing.

6) Don’t be hard on yourself-

Have some compassion for yourself.

You’ll probably mess up a lot when learning something new. So what? Learn from your mistakes and move forward. Don’t beat yourself up. This little gesture keeps you sane. It enables you to walk long distances towards your goal without losing your drive.

7) The goal is transformation, not confidence-

As long as you’re dealing with life’s challenges, eventually, you develop a new baseline of confidence, which becomes your new “norm.” This new norm sometimes fluctuates, which is natural. However, it also means you’re no longer the same person.

You’ve grown.

Conclusion

There’s no need to try to become “confident.” You won’t be able to convince yourself you’re confident either (with things like affirmations). The only way a person can build genuine confidence is to pursue his goals, address any issues he has, face challenges, and let himself grow with time.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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