After a near deadly cat fight between Steve Jaeger’s Himalayan and a pit bull, the cat has something to say to Steve.
My son Joe came up from Richmond for the day on Christmas this year. Shortly before he arrived he called me and told me he was bringing his roommate’s Pit Bull, a female named Josie. I asked him if we would all be ok around the dog and he told me she’s great around people but we’d better lock up Max. We put him into my daughter Mary’s room where he had his food, water and litter box.
Max is our fourteen year old Himalayan cat. We’ve had him since he’s two months old and he’s as much a part of the family as I am. My daughter carries him around the house like he’s a newborn baby and loves the cat more than she loves me. Max had a long career as an outdoor cat, he was a voracious hunter and used to bring back all sorts of dead animals to present to us including once, a small hawk. When we moved into our apartment a couple of years ago I thought Max would be miserable as an indoor cat but he settled right in to retirement.
Joe arrived with the dog, a beautiful animal, gold in color and seemed to be pure muscle. She greeted everyone in the room, sniffed around a bit and then sat down next to Joe and stayed by his side no matter where he went. At one point Joe left the apartment to run down to his car. The dog became very agitated and began to whine and bark by the door. At this very moment Mary decided to open her door. Max sauntered out and in a flash the dog attacked him. The two of them went flying into my bedroom where the dog pinned Max against the wall and was about to clamp he jaws around the cat’s neck. Mary threw herself on the dog, (not a great idea) and then I grabbed Josie by her collar and dragged her from the room. Max shot under my bed and I slammed the door shut. The dog then began to throw herself at the door while barking and whining and trying to force her way back in. My younger son Tommy came to me a few minutes later and told me my door and the carpet around it was covered in blood. Joe came back in, got the dog under control. My door was indeed smeared with blood and when I went into the room to check on Max my daughter was on the floor in near hysterics trying to coax the cat out from under the bed. We were very concerned about him, he once got in a tussle with a local fox and his neck was slashed open. It took us a couple of days to discover it because his fur is so dense and he never acted like he was hurt. Max was not about to budge from under the bed so I went out to look at the dog . He muzzle and face were scratched up pretty good and I had a feeling that most of the blood we found was hers. Joe went home a couple of hours later and Max late that evening emerged from my room. My daughter swooped down on him and when we checked him out he seemed fine. No cuts, nothing broken.
My badass cat beat up the pit bull.
A couple of days later I was sitting on the couch when Max sauntered in. He still seemed very skittish as anyone would. He jumped up on the couch, I rubbed his ears the way he likes and said, “How’s my little Max?”
He looked at me and said, “I just beat up a dog, I’m not your little Max,” I said I was sorry but I really did want to know how he was.
“How do you think I am, I almost just got eaten by that monster. Holy shit! Whose bright idea was it to bring that thing?” I said Joe had brought her and he felt terrible about what happened. “Joe’s the big tall one right? He’s the kid who used to live in the basement isn’t he? I hardly recognize him.” I said that Joe is all grown up now and had been gone for a few years. “ I think he used to give me those treats and put catnip around, man that stuff will get you wasted.” I asked if he enjoyed feeling like that? “It’s ok every now and then, breaks up the day.” I remarked that the only thing it seemed to break up were his naps. “What do you expect genius? I’m in this place all damned day and night, what do you want me to do? What happened to that other dog? The one that used to live with us?” I told him the Dylan, the beagle had gone with my ex wife when we divorced. “Man, that was one dumb ass mutt! Ate his own shit! Can you believe that? What a dumbass.” I allowed that the dog was pretty stupid, that’s why I kept Max and sent the dog off with my ex.
“Well, I’m just glad he’s gone, I had to keep my food and water up on the counter to keep the dumbass from eating it. Did I tell you he used to eat his own shit?”
He suddenly whipped his head around and stiffened, “What was that? Did you hear that?” I told him it was just the trash truck emptying the dumpster. “Man, I am still really freaked out! I keep thinking that monster is gonna hop out from behind a door again. I mean I did kick her ass and all but it still scared the shit out of me.” I said that it scared us too. “Yeah well next time you put your head in the dogs mouth and I’ll be the one to voice my concern. The girl was pretty freaked out too, it was actually kind of funny. If I hadn’t almost been eaten I would have enjoyed watching her get all hysterical.” I asked why he didn’t call Mary by her name. “Look, I’m a cat how do you expect me to remember all these names. I’ve been living with you as long as I can remember and I don’t even know your name. I told him my name was Steve and I was a little hurt he didn’t know my name. “Hey man, don’t take it personally! I have to remember the best place to sack out and since pretty much all I do is sack out anymore that’s a lot to remember. I mean, I know you, you’re the one who opens the fish cans and let’s me clean out the empties.” I told him the fish is called Tuna. “Yeah sure, tuna. All I know is that that fish is delicious! Beats the hell out of that dry shit you feed me all the rest of the time. What’s the deal with that stuff, I’ll eat it and everything but it’s dry!” I told him the dry food was better for him than the wet stuff. “Yeah, well you just keep that fish coming. Listen I’ve enjoyed chatting but I have to go find a good place to crash.” I gave his head one more rub and told him to take it easy. “That’s the only way I take it, ciao.”
For the record, Max seems to be fine, back to his old self.
Photo courtesy of author.