17-year-old Anthony Cortez looks back on the ways he thought he was becoming a man.
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Shattered
.
by Anthony Cortez
Counting down from age 17…
17. My heart is shattered by my girlfriend. I never imagined she would leave me.
16. My other half, Lillie, my sister, moves away. I lose my voice. The moon, my only friend, goes away too.
15. My Uncle Danny passes away. I wonder how many people will attend my funeral.
14. For the first time in three years, I see my absent father. In a courtroom.
13. I get drunk and wonder if my father and I would get along.
12. My best friend and I split paths. I feel as if I have lost a brother.
11. My grandfather Tony passes away. I do not cry.
10. I get into a fight. I enjoy the pain.
9. I am greeted by a stranger. Actually he is my father.
8. I cry for a man I have never met.
7. My father, a drug addict, buys drugs rather than visit his own son on his birthday
6. I am ashamed to draw my first memory, so I draw fictional ones because I do not want to draw my father beating my mother.
5. I move to Venice, California. My father and family disappear.
4. I scratch at my father’s eyes as he tries to run over my mother.
3. I am sitting on my grandmother’s rocking chair, tears streaming down my cheeks, whimpering fills the quiet house as I call out for my mother.
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Photo credit: Alejandro Hernandez./Flickr