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Mojo. A simple 4 letter word. Some men have it in spades, others in dribbles. Mojo is what makes a man attractive. It’s what makes him who he is. It’s what gives him his unique edge in the world.
I recently went to see the movie Bohemian Rhapsody with my wife. My god, if ever a man had a unique edge, it was Freddie Mercury. His mojo was flowing, yet it had nothing to do with his appearance, his bank balance or his status. Neither was it because he had his shit all together.
Freddie was a man who was often conflicted and at times tormented. But it was Freddie’s mojo, that inner star quality, that made him unique, that made him succeed at his chosen profession, where others would have failed.
Had Freddie decided to be a plumber, he would have been great at it. Mojo doesn’t discriminate. It’s not about what you do, but it sure brings to life what you do. A bus driver can have mojo, just as a rockstar can.
You see, a man with mojo can face his day, his life, his relationships, his challenges, any situation, with cool, calm, confidence. A man with mojo has a self-belief that rises up and carries him forward. Mojo is what makes a man sexy. It’s what drives women crazy. It’s what makes other men want to know “what’s he got”.
But mojo is different for each guy. One man’s mojo might be another man’s kryptonite. What works for you, may not work for me. You gotta find your own sense of it, and that’s the mission of every man.
Mojo is what others sense in a man when he enters a room, a conversation, a situation, a relationship, and ‘shows up’ as his authentic self. Whether he is installing a new kitchen, or singing on a stage in fronts of thousands, mojo is what makes him live with passion. It’s what makes him come alive.
So what is mojo?
Is it purely sex appeal? Is it some magical formula that some men have and others don’t? Is it being 6’4 and having an athletic body? Is it the ability to not give a fuck? Is it self-confidence? Is it brash arrogance or bravado? A man with mojo certainly doesn’t need to be loud or aggressive. He doesn’t need to swagger, though certainly may. He doesn’t need to boast. In fact, he may be quietly confident, calm and grounded most of the time. But there is something about him that you can ‘feel’. It’s his presence, his energy, his confidence. It makes you want to be around him. It’s his mojo.
The Cambridge dictionary defines mojo as a “quality that attracts people to you, makes you successful and full of energy”.
Mojo can exist on the sports field, the bedroom, the boardroom, the kitchen, the supermarket. It’s in the way you move, walk, talk, smile, show up and hold yourself.
So let’s break it down:
M.O.J.O.
M is for Mastery.
A man with mojo is master of his own domain. He makes his own decisions, sets his own agenda, and shapes his own life. Your domain is your physical health, nutrition, career choices, hobbies, the way you handle conflict, your sexuality, mental health, emotional health, financial health, and how you show up in relationships with others.
But mojo isn’t arrogant. It’s not “look at me, aren’t I shit hot”. That’s ego. Mojo has a certain calmness, confidence, clarity, and conviction about it.
Mojo is about knowing what you want, what you don’t want, knowing who you are, and creating a life that matches those things.
Mojo is about self-belief, acceptance and the courage to know that the one person who is responsible for your life, relationships, decisions, and the way you show up in the world, is you, and only you.
Being master of your own domain involves learning to master your own thoughts, behaviours, attitude, and mindset. Notice I said learning, because this isn’t about having it all together. Mojo is a daily commitment. It’s an artform that is cultivated through practice.
It might sound like a lot, but when you focus on different areas at different times, you start to build a better life. Mojo is all about the art of self-mastery.
O is for Ownership.
A man with mojo owns his own shit. He is far from perfect. He’s not superhuman. He’s free to make mistakes. A mojovated man is aware of his own flaws, weaknesses, insecurities and fears, but he owns them. They are not excuses. They are fuel.
Ownership means being honest with yourself, and being committed to the art of becoming a better man. It means not putting up with your own BS.
Recently I’ve been faced with some personal challenges. I had the choice to give in, give up, and feel defeated, or tap into my own mojo, and believe in myself. I’ve taken the first option many times. But this time I made a simple decision to say “no” to self-sabotage.
Some of my situation was because of my own choices and behaviours. Some was out of my control. But the difference is, owning my choices, making different choices, and getting myself into a better head space, a better heart space, and a better life place. It works.
J is for Journeyman.
A man with mojo is in it for the long haul. He’s not here one minute and gone the next.
When a relationship gets tough, or when life throws you a curveball, a man with mojo doesn’t run. A man with mojo doesn’t have a bad day because someone else is having a bad day. A man with mojo keeps sight of the bigger picture.
A mojovated man has a mission, even if his mission is to discover his mission. He is curious, he is invested in his own life, he wants to live for something bigger than himself.
A journeyman is a man with a purpose. A man on a journey doesn’t sit around watching football, drinking beer and eating snacks every weekend, though there are times for that. He is on the move, he is learning, seeking, and experiencing his life consciously.
A mojovated man also knows how to bring others along with him. He’s not a lone wolf. He doesn’t need to be. He wants to share his world with others.
A man with mojo has nothing to prove, except to himself. His life is lived as an invitation for others to experience with him.
O is for Openness
Finally, a man with mojo has an openness about him. He is not afraid to love, or say what he wants. His whole aim is to live his best life. He doesn’t hide, he doesn’t avoid. His heart is open.
A man with an open heart is a man who is willing to take a risk. He loves hard. He plays hard. He is a man who is emotionally open and available.
A mojovated man is not afraid to trust, and lean into difficult situations and conversations, because he knows there is far more value, depth and discovery in remaining open, than being closed.
A man with an open heart is naturally attractive. He attracts the right people and the right situations into his life, because he is open to possibility.
When a man is heart-led, as opposed to head led, or balls led, he is truly free. Sure, his head needs to be in the game, his balls need to be firmly in his own hands, but he is guided by is own heart, spirit and gut instinct. A man with mojo faces the same insecurities and fears as any man, but he navigates through and around them.
Becoming a mojovated man is no easy feat. It’s a call, a challenge, a frontier to be faced. But the more you practice, the better you get.
In the words of Freddy: “I gotta be cool, relax, get hip, get on my tracks”. Crazy little thing called mojo.
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