By Beleaf In Fatherhood
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Are you a love to win or hate to lose type of person? I’m trying to figure out which kind each of my kids are, but in the process, I realized I might be being too hard on Theo. I invited my dad over to talk about how to justify not letting my kids win. It’s hard, because on one hand you want to build confidence in your kids, but you don’t want to placate them. I want my kids to earn their wins AND their losses so that they know where their strengths and weaknesses lie, where they’ve got the sauce and where they need to improve. In this episode, watch as my Dad and I discuss the Dwayne Wade video, my tendencies as a child, and how likely he is to end up with a broken back over a basketball game.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
like super competitive no and it bugged
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me yeah it bugged you right
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yeah so i was more happy just to be
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playing
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yeah you know what i’m saying then like
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having to win right
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and i think theo’s that kid hello hello
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hello look at me
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i’ve been fresh i’ve been walking with
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my savior yes i’m trying to do my best
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guess i’m just a bag of bombs trying to
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shake up by the flesh
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when you see me never stress when you
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see me see me see me you saying
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[Music]
00:32
[Applause]
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[Music]
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and
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[Music]
00:45
[Applause]
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[Music]
00:56
welcome back to belief in fatherhood and
00:57
thank you for your patience
00:59
let’s pick up where we left off last
01:01
episode we were having a nerf gun fight
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outside
01:04
theo and uriah on one team anaya and i
01:06
one another
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i was trying to figure out which kid was
01:09
a love to win tight person
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and which one was a hate to lose tight
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person but i never figured it out
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because theo got so upset
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because he lost the game his words
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verbatim were
01:20
i just want to win now on this journey
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to becoming a good father it’s important
01:24
not to lean on your
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own understanding it’s important to have
01:28
counsel
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so i hit up my father because i wanted
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to ask him
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some questions about competitiveness in
01:36
a father-son
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relationship why are fathers so
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competitive
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feel free to leave your thoughts below
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or in the comments section made
01:44
available in the community page
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now my dad isn’t used to being on camera
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so i really appreciate him for being a
01:51
part of this video
01:54
hey did you see that um that video on
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dwayne wade and his son yeah when they
02:00
playing basketball
02:01
yeah yeah
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it was intense it was very intense
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you know he it’s probably hard for him
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because he he can’t beat his dad
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yeah i mean his dad still got talent and
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he
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yeah it was tough but my dad didn’t let
02:20
up on him though i was like nah
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you gotta beat me dude are you a um
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person that
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loves to win or hate to lose right
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uh i’m not well i know you i know what
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you want
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so so you’re not asking me about well
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i’m not i’m not asking you that i’m
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i would assume that you’re a person who
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who uh who hates to lose
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i don’t i don’t like losing but i’m not
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a sore loser
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right right you’re not a sore loser but
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you would throw out your back to win the
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basketball game
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yes as we found out in the past right
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right yeah so
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i’m trying to figure out like is it
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right
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to look like like just keep beating you
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know what i’m saying like
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yeah but why but why like why
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yeah like what like what is it about us
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as dads that’s kind of like
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well if you win now well if you don’t
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earn it
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then it’s not yours you know well the
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real world the real world is not going
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to let them win
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so if if if if you like create this
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fantasy that you know i beat my dad
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you know but he really didn’t beat you
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when he got there he get
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the smackdown put on him yeah and it’s a
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reality check
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so i mean even now
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like when i play four squares or
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whatever nieces and nephews
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grandkids i don’t let them win yeah
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it sounds mean but i’m one of those dads
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who um
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like you gotta earn it well how do you
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feel you
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do you felt like you should have let him
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win man the way he cried
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like for your riot it’s different you
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know because i think theo
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he was one of them kids like like i was
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like i wasn’t like super competitive
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no and it bugged me yeah it bugged you
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right yeah
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so i was more happy just to be playing
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yeah you know what i’m saying then like
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having to win
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right and i think theo’s that kid but
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when he did lose i think he lost really
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bad
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to the point where he kind of knew that
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like
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you know like he was just in that mode
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where it was like this dude gonna give
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me a head shot right to the face you
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know
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um but uriah he’s like
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i’m not like i’d rather bleed you know
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i’d rather i’m sure you told him look no
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one’s gonna let you win on the real
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world
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or you know when you’re in school
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they’re not going to let you win
04:58
so see i didn’t tell him he was talking
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to george when he said that
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oh really yeah he was talking to the
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camera he was crying
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oh because it’s like it’s just not fair
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like every single time like no matter
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what i’m doing i always lose
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and he’s like i just want to win one and
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i’m like oh man that’s really sad you
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know
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it gave me like a little soft spot at
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the same time it’s kind of like
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i don’t think i’m supposed to let you
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win that’s a tough one right yeah
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that’s because he’s only seven yeah
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you don’t care
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no i i i think it makes them uh
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it’s kind of like um with brittany when
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she was playing volleyball
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and um the difference between dads and
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moms
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sherry would tell her when she got just
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got finished playing
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ah honey you did really really well and
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i was like no you sucked
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you you did not play well at all and i i
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kept it real
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i don’t know i think it’s a dad a dad
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thing for the most part
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yeah which is crazy you know who’s like
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that it’s invest like that too
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yeah and you know i think she’s more of
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my kid than you yeah
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because like when you well you’re not i
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remember when we were playing basketball
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you didn’t care if you lost like dude
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i’m like i just want to spend time come
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on
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me too but i want you to be competitive
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about it yeah not that you weren’t
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competitive you didn’t care
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yeah it was kind of like yeah you didn’t
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care if you if i beat you yeah
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and i think that’s part of the the fun
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of beating somebody is when they care
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you know what i mean i understand that
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my father was trying to
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prepare me for the world and in
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retrospect i think my father understands
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now that i’m not that guy
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i don’t need competition everywhere i go
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i wouldn’t describe myself
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as a competitive person but if you spent
06:46
any time on this channel you’d know
06:48
that i’m not losing not in production
06:51
not in fatherhood not in marriage there
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is no competition for me
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but to be a true winner in the game of
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life is to be able to recreate yourself
07:00
in other people if you’re a good person
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make good people
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if you’re a good leader make good
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leaders and i know my dad was trying to
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prepare me for the world
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but i think i’m opposite i think i’m
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trying to prepare the world for my
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children
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there is value in being competitive with
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your child though
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like dwayne wade and zaire he’s
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obviously competing at a competitive
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level
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his competition with his dad is only
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going to increase the chances that he’ll
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be successful
07:27
in the nba if he chooses to go that
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route at this age though
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it’s about bonding it’s about me
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spending time with the children to see
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what their interests may be
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helping them along coaching them and
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then one day
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giving them that competitive edge that
07:40
they need but you really don’t need a
07:43
competitive dad
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when you have a competitive brother
07:46
[Music]
07:54
you guys are gonna need a helmet
08:01
this is my journey to becoming a good
08:03
father and these
08:05
are my teachers yo that wasn’t my
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proudest moment as a father right
08:10
theo when uriah fighting is not really i
08:13
mean you guys seen it before
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but that’s not how i want to do life in
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general
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but i think that’s the interesting thing
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about my dad is that he had these
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competitive beings with with his
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brothers you know he had like
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three brothers or something like that
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and and
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my brother’s like 10 years younger than
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me you know saying i really couldn’t
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compete with him in that way
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uh but theo and uriah have this
08:35
competitiveness and i think that right
08:37
now during this time i need to be a
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friend
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and a supportive member of the family
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just by being there
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uh and so i can let him win and so it’s
08:47
cool for me
08:48
somebody in the comments section on i
08:49
think uh instagram was like yeah glenn
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you really dropped the ball you know
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you’re way too hard on them and
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you know you know you need to be more
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supportive and i’m like
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i don’t necessarily want him to be like
09:02
not competitive you know what i’m saying
09:03
but i don’t think i really have the
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control
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that type of control you know it’s it’s
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it’s in uh due time that he would learn
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how to be competitive and learn how to
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fight
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but for me as a father right now what i
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am is a coach and uh
09:18
soon you know i would be a cheerleader
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and then one day i’ll be a fan but i’ll
09:25
always be in a season
09:27
of supporting him you know um and that
09:30
goes for all the kids
09:31
uh if you guys enjoyed this episode uh
09:36
first of all i want to thank you for
09:37
your patience uh because
09:39
it has been a good while since we put
09:42
out a video
09:43
george actually submitted some ideas to
09:44
uh create content more consistently
09:46
so the vlog day is moving from thursday
09:49
to wednesday
09:50
and we’re going to put another video out
09:53
on friday
09:54
uh that is you know something’s gonna be
09:56
fun light-hearted
09:57
uh might be some music uh might be some
09:59
stuff that talks about the business side
10:01
and if you guys have not checked out yet
10:03
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and we’re actually bringing that to
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10:35
uh but yeah guys um i appreciate you
10:38
guys for your patience
10:40
thank you guys so much for watching
10:41
protect your life keep your network pop
10:43
and if you’re fortunate enough to be
10:44
doing life with someone else
10:45
make sure you watch this video with them
10:46
and if they’re not around share with
10:49
them
10:51
yes i’m trying to do my best
11:06
when you see me
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video
