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Frozen
David Blackwood, Jackson, TN
From Dads Behaving DADLY 2: 72 More Truths, Tears, and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood Copyright © 2015 Motivational Press. Reprinted with permission. By Hogan Hilling and Al Watts.
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Terrified.
Helpless.
One of those moments in time where the seconds seem like hours and every detail is seared into your memory. That is what it was like to hold my lifeless child.
The kids were playing around the living room. Supermom was starting dinner. I was talking with the grandparents who had just brought the children home from Night at the Museum 3. They said it was a good movie by the way.
At some point, we realized the youngest of our four girls, 18-month-old “Lady Bug,” was acting strangely. She had been crawling around the floor on all fours and now was beside the couch with the top of her head against the side of the couch. It looked like she was crawling forward, ran into the couch and had just frozen there. Maybe she was looking at something on the ground, or maybe she had something in her mouth. I tried to get her attention.
“Lady Bug… Look at Daddy. What do you have?”
Nothing. She wasn’t moving.
“Lady Bug.”
Still frozen.
I walked over and picked her up so I could see what she was doing or trying to secretly put in her mouth. Her arm was rigid, drawn into her chest. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was half open, but she was frozen. That look still haunts me.
She wasn’t clawing at her mouth or throat or making any choking sounds. She just had this blank, wide-eyed expression on her face. Her lips were turning blue, and her expression wasn’t changing. She had to be choking was all I could think.
I turned her face down and held her at a downward angle while doing the baby Heimlich. My wife rushed over saying, “Lady Bug, Lady Bug!” Maybe it was me saying her name that froze her. Who can tell?
Supermom smacked her on the back, trying to dislodge whatever was stuck. It wasn’t working, and she was starting to turn really blue. Her face had the same vacant expression. I thought I might be losing one of them: sitting in my arms and slipping through my fingers.
Grandma had 9-1-1 on the cell phone and was hysterically trying to give them the address. All I could think was they would get here too late. They would take this limp child into a blinking box on wheels, and I would not see her alive again.
I decided to see if I could dislodge the obstruction. I reached a finger into her mouth along the inside edge and to the back to make sure she had not swallowed her tongue or remove whatever was blocking her throat.
Then, suddenly, she let out a little bit of air and, after a few pats, she started to cry. Nothing came up, and her cry was strong and clear, but she was disoriented. Lady Bug was still not herself. Supermom clutched her, and I realized the other girls had run to their room crying. The panic of the adults had scared them. Lady Bug was getting more and more energy back but, with nothing obviously wrong, we were worried.
I could not let go of the feeling that I was losing her. Tears streaked down my face as we sent the older three back to the Grandparents and the baby and Supermom loaded up with me in the car. Once again, we turned the flashers on and went to the Emergency Room. With four kids, we should have a reserved parking spot at that place.
At the crammed ER, Lady Bug was fidgety and quickly becoming full of energy. Talking. Laughing. Screaming at people. Playing with a plastic horse and the inside of a shoe she pulled off. Normal stuff.
When the doctor arrived, he discovered an infection in her left ear. Lady Bug had a runny nose for a few days but never a fever or any other hint something was wrong. The doctor told us our daughter had most likely suffered a febrile seizure caused by the infection. He recommended a full workup, which meant needles.
So, after holding what I thought was our dying child, I got to hold a child who thought she was dying. Blood work via IV in the arm; rectal temperature (super!); CAT scan for which I had the pleasure of holding her head in place during the scan; Flu test via nose swabs; Strep test via throat swabs (flashback of choking incident was a nice touch to this test); Chest X-Ray; Urine sample via catheter, which was slightly impressively done on only the second try (the secret turns out to be waiting until the baby stops screaming to take a quick breath and then shoving it quickly into the bladder). Finally, an antibiotic shot that I am pretty sure hurt her the most. I did my best to comfort her through the weary ordeal.
Six hours later we were home with antibiotics and a referral to a neurologist, just to be on the safe side. Oh yeah, we got a package of rectal suppositories for seizures lasting longer than three minutes. I guess it beats sitting there with your thumb up your own ass.
It was around 1:30 a.m. when we got back home, but I could not sleep. In the other room was this kid who felt like a pincushion, sleeping soundly. I was all tied up in knots from the trauma and the panic this medical emergency created for my other kids. I did not assure them things were going to be alright. I felt awful they went to bed scared they wouldn’t see their sister again.
In thirty seconds our life appeared to drastically change for the worse. I did not want to imagine what could have been.
There are some people who hope to live forever, but times like this make me hope I’m the first to go.
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David Blackwood is a father of four girls, husband to one woman, a blogger read by tens of people, and a non-knower of sacred knowledge. He writes a mostly humorous blog (with some sprinkling of life philosophies) around the world of being a hapless parent of four small girls. Interacting with the kids and joined by Supermom, Cat, and the Diapered Dog, life is never boring. He invites any and all to join in the fun at www.Underdaddy.com.
Hogan Hilling is a nationally recognized and OPRAH approved author of 12 published books. Hilling has appeared on Oprah. He is the creator of the DADLY book series and the “#WeLoveDads” and “#WeLoveMoms” Campaigns, which he will launch in early 2018. He is also the owner of Dad Marketing, a first of its kind consultation firm on how to market to dads. He is also the founder of United We Parent. Hilling is also the author of the DADLY book series and first of its kind books. The first book is about marketing to dads “DADLY Dollar$” and two coffee table books that feature dads and moms. “DADLY Dads: Parents of the 21st Century” and “Amazing Moms: Parents of the 21st Century.” Hilling is the father of three children and lives in southern California.
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Originally published in Dads Behaving DADLY 2: 72 More Truths, Tears, and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood Copyright © 2015 Motivational Press. Reprinted with permission.
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