Dating for Men Has Entered a New Low

Well, for fuck sake.

I thought we already went over this.

We did.

But there are new issues men face.

Let’s read them and see what we can do to grow and move past them.

Dating in today’s world can feel like a shitty maze with no exit. But I’ll help you bury through!

1. Rejection Isn’t Just a Speed Bump — It’s the whole Wall

If you’ve lived in a man’s body for just a month, you know that dating is full of A LOT of rejection and is a constant companion. Unless you have the cajones of 16-foot Paul Bunyan it might completely destroy your confidence.

Hell, for a lot of men, it does.

There are a lot of dudes out there who get rejected a thousand times; they can’t possibly fathom continuing asking, planning, starting conversations, and approaching new women. It’s like being a boxer in the ring, taking hit after hit, knowing the fight isn’t over, but questioning if you can take another punch.

Repeated rejection can leave good men feeling invisible or unworthy of real love they’d never admit, of course. It’s not just about hearing “no”; it’s about the cumulative weight of being dismissed. It honestly takes so much courage and constant positive self-talk to move past it.

Trey’s Advice — Shift your mindset constantly. Rejection isn’t about you as a person — it’s about timing, compatibility, or someone else’s circumstances. Use each experience to grow, not retreat. This will take the deepest depths of internal gumption. But you HAVE IT!

And try your best not to GIVE THE “FLYINGEST” of FUCKS.

2. The Swipe Culture is GAR-BA-HARGE.

I went to a speed dating event once. This girl and I had so much in common, and for about 3 minutes, we spoke about how good Usher’s Confessions album was. So what did she do!?

She buzzed me for the next person. She said, “I’m so sorry. I just don’t want to date the first person I connect with”. At the end of the event, she came and found me, asked for my number, and apologized.

Can you guess what I said?

Go on, guess…

Dating apps have legit ruined dating. They promise connection but deliver frustration. Endless swiping, few matches, and conversations that fade before they begin cause, for the best women, there will always be ANOTHER GUY:

You’re judged by a couple of decent pictures and some sentences or prompts, competing with every other man in the city. Most of which all the same women are hoping to meet. The sheer volume of competition on apps creates a gross “gamified” experience, making genuine connections harder to find.

They can be found, but fuck me. You gotta claw and really work hard to find one.

Trey’s Tips: Don’t rely solely on apps. Expand your dating opportunities through social activities, volunteering, getting out of the damn house, or shared hobbies. Create organic moments where women see you for you. Mix and both online and real life.

3. Initiation Is a Burden, and Ambiguity Is Constant

Men still have to initiate every step — from starting a conversation to planning dates — while navigating unclear social cues, most of which women will rarely, if ever, communicate or just be honest or sincere with how they feel. Research shows men predominantly take on the role of initiating romantic interactions. A Sex Roles study found 93% of women prefer men to initiate dates, 93% fucking percent. Fellas, this is why I can’t stand pop feminism. (Eaton & Rose, 2011). OkCupid, 80% of first messages are sent by men, and societal expectations exist even in online dating (Rudder, 2014).

Modern progressive women still subscribe to archaic traditional dating norms and are happy to continue receiving patriarchal dated courting methods cause it continues to benefit them.

Why would they give it up!?

You need to make the move, but only when it’s comfortable for her. If you wait too long, it’s your fault. If you act too soon, you’re a little creepy. It feels like playing dodgeball blindfolded in a minefield. Women always seem to use indirect strategies to express disinterest, whereas men prefer direct communication. This always leads to confusion (Wood & Inman, 1993).

Trey’s Advice: Embrace clear, respectful communication. But also, who gives a fuck what they think? They don’t know you, you don’t know them. You’re both bound to say or do something silly. Ask direct but considerate questions, and clarity and honesty go a long way in cutting through dating bullshit. You don’t need perfect words; you just need the courage to say imperfect ones and see what they build.

4. Weird, Nonsensical, and STUPID Expectations.

Men feel the weight of societal expectations, from financial responsibility to emotional perfection, despite us allegedly being a progressive society. But you gotta stop measuring your worth by some random women’s checklist; define success on your own terms.

You’re supposed to be strong but sensitive, confident but not cocky, independent but dependent in the right way — it’s very exhausting for a lot of men out there. All these demands are so bloody contradictory it leaves men feeling like they’re never quite enough. To be everything to everyone is to be nothing to yourself — choose your own path, not theirs.

Trey’s Advice: Focus on raw authenticity rather than perfection slip into your skin like a cozy hoody. No man checks every box. How could he!? Challenge the archaic myth of perfection; embrace your flaws as part of your strength wear that shit on your chest and own the mess of a man you most likely are. You’ll never be enough for a woman who demands everything, but you’ll always be enough for the life you build with purpose.

We’re all trying our best.

5. Social Circles Shrinking, Pressure Rising

With smaller social circles and more strangers in the mix, the odds feel stacked against men trying to date. Granted, some of this is self-inflicted when you hang out in your apartment playing video games all day and flogging the bishop. But in general, people are far less social these days.

The numbers game isn’t in men’s favor — fewer women in their age group, and many are dating older men or not dating at all. The women dating older men is how it’s always been. There’s nothing new there. The real issue is the dating market failure. Women still choose the same three types of men who are in the top 10%, so those men date multiple women and leave not a lot for the rest of the men.

Declining social capital makes forming meaningful connections even harder for young men.

Trey’s Advice: Rebuild your social capital, man! Join groups, attend events, or even take a class — you must have the balls to GROW! To do things that scare the shit out of you and learn to be strategically social. Expanding your circle naturally increases opportunities to meet women you might like! You can’t find the right company by sitting in the wrong crowd — choose where you spend your time wisely.

The Desert and the Swamp of Modern Dating for Men.

If great quality people to date are like pristine crystal clear, purified water, men wander a barren desert while women navigate a deep-filled, murky swamp. Both men and women face challenges, but the terrain will always shape the struggle differently.

It’s so fucking insulting when some women seem to think men have it easy in dating.

No honey, the top 5% of men YOU date have it easy.

The takeaway? Dating isn’t easy for anyone; in fact, it never has been, but understanding the unique challenges men face can foster empathy and inspire solutions. Why focus on men? Cause when women talk about their dating issues, they get podcasts, platforms, sympathy, empathy and millions of views on social media.

When men have issues, it goes like this:

Final Thoughts — What can men do!?

The hardest part of dating as a man isn’t just rejection or societal expectations; it’s the weight of expectations that demand everything but offer nothing in return — it’s the loneliness that comes from feeling unseen and unsupported and, for some reason, people feeling like you’re given everything and life is on easy mode.

When a man succeeds, the world claims he had it easy, and when he struggles, they insist he wasn’t strong enough.

So I say quite simply. Fuck em’ all, baby.

There’s hope. By broadening your approach, focusing on self-growth, and fostering open communication, you can navigate the maze of modern dating with resilience and confidence. Learn to move in a way where you’re mentally invincible and knowledge that no matter what people say. There’s only one of you. You can’t control how others see you, but you can master how you see yourself — start there.

Remember: connection begins with courage. Keep showing up, keep trying, and stay true to yourself. Modern dating isn’t a battle to win; it’s a journey to walk, and the map starts with knowing your own worth.

Clap if this resonates, and follow for more actionable advice on dating and relationships.

Love ya man!