Dating Tips for Men After Divorce: 7 Keys for Finding Deep Love

Dating After Divorce Requires a New Playbook

Most dating tips for men don’t apply if you’re already successful in business but want deeper success in love.

When you’ve reached a certain age and level of accomplishment, you don’t want to make the same mistakes you did in your marriage. This time around, you’re definitely ready for a relationship of depth and passion — but how do you create that?

First, avoid most dating advice out there, which is bullshit: based on superficial qualifiers or on ‘just-so’ stories designed to make it sound like relating boils down to subconscious biological imperatives.

Outdated dating tips for men tend to focus on surface-level tactics, but what you actually need is emotional clarity and strategic depth.

Superficial characteristics aren’t what creates happiness that lasts. And following reductionist advice won’t get you a relationship of mutual respect and trust.

Instead, to find a partner who deeply meets you on every level, focus on the “intangible assets” that she brings to the table.

For example:

How does she react when things don’t go her way?
Does she take responsibility when she makes mistakes, or does she tend to blame external factors?
When conflict inevitably occurs, is she able to accept or initiate repair?
Is this someone you feel will be on your team when it comes to making tough decisions?
Is the way she relates to money, spending, and saving compatible with your money mindset?
What are her expectations and boundaries (or lack there-of) when it comes to in-laws and family influence in your life?
What’s her relationship to her erotic life, and is she open to creating a thriving sex life together with you, even as you age?
Overall, does she relate to life with a growth mindset — where she sees inevitable failures as opportunities for growth — or does she have a fixed mindset — which makes it hard to want to learn or grow?

The #1 Dating Tip For Men After Divorce

One of the most underrated dating tips for men is to ask: Can I build a life, and a conversation, with this woman through real-world challenges?

At the end of the day, your new partner is someone you may share 10,000 meals with — even in a second marriage.

As you probably learned the hard way in a difficult first marriage (I’ve been there, too), you need to like talking to each other — even when you’re talking about something hard, or when you’re tired, anxious, or hungry. You want to be able to bring up the tough stuff (like your sex life), without fear of criticism or stonewalling.

A foundation of growth, trust, and respect that you can build on is far more important than attraction and hobbies — and backed by research.

When you’re interacting with a date, think about whether you two could work out being on the same team through challenges like blending your families and kids, making hard financial decisions, helping each other through illness, and caring for aging parents.

The best dating tips for men aren’t just about choosing the right partner, they’re also about becoming the kind of man who attracts one.

Finally, as you think about these and other important intangible assets you’d like your next partner to have, also consider what she might like to see in you.

For example: if you were giving your daughter advice on what traits to look for in a man, what might you tell her — and do you have those?

If not, you’ve found your new growth edge.

The good news is that accomplished women are hungry for men who are open to growth and doing their work.

Many dating tips for men miss this: emotionally intelligent women aren’t looking for perfect, they’re looking for real.

You’ll have an advantage as one of those men. You can have a relationship of depth and passion — but you’ll need to ignore most dating advice and look deeper to get there.

Good luck. For those men who are dating after divorce, I’m curious to hear your biggest challenge.